Family

Teen life: If teenagers are difficult, what about parents?

Our 14-year-old columnist weighs in on a recent study that says 14-year-old daughters are the most difficult to handle.

Lavanya Malhotra

May 18, 2010

A study was recently published in the British newspaper the Daily Mail claiming that out of all the different species available in the "teenager" genus, 14-year-old daughters are the most difficult children to handle. As a specimen of this much-maligned category, I find this hard to believe. Any analyst will tell you that the person conducting a study should not be biased. The survey was no doubt conducted by someone over 20, so that firmly and irrevocably places them in the enemy camp of the Dreaded Grown-ups.

Teenagers are a social class often tagged with stereotypes such as "surly" and "un-understandable". Close observation of their psychology and living conditions, however, will reveal that their moodiness arises from the numerous persecutions they are subjected to by certain members of their family. As soon as I arrive home, for example, after a hard day's slog at school, I am greeted by the words: "So whose life did you sabotage today?" Or: "Take those snails out of your pocket. They are not coming into my house." And this is when Mum's inside somewhere and hasn't even set eyes upon me. Mum tells me that it's just me with the snail fixation (they've cropped up all around our compound now) but I am assuming that the way parents of all teenagers regard their offspring - note the "my house" and the imperative "take" - crushes their spirits even before they've stepped inside the house.

Why do parents stop making sense as soon as their child hits their 13th birthday? Mine had never encouraged the consumption of too much non-organic food, being healthy and environmentally conscious, but now that I've voluntarily begun to refuse chocolate for fear of gaining the extra pound, I am bombarded with anxious questions attempting to deduce whether I have an eating disorder or not. Patient explanations of why they should be happy that I am finally following their advice and cutting back on the sugar has made them deeply suspicious. They aren't prepared to accept that I would ever follow their advice, you see.

With the grand old age of 14 also comes the revelation that your parents aren't as naive as you had presumed they were when you were 13, when you start getting lectures about boys and smoking. Their overwhelming concern for your safety may be well-meaning, but it would help if they understood that I - even I, pro though I am - am far more likely to hurt myself skiing in Ski Dubai than get kidnapped if I venture out there alone. To be fair, we had quite a disturbing experience at a mall once, when four of us girls sitting in the food court were harassed by a random man for phone numbers. Pretending to call our parents didn't make him go away, so we finally had to summon a real mother. Her appearance forced him to slink away, and for once we felt compelled to admit that the existence of parents, however embarrassing, is perhaps not too harmful a thing.

Parents are all very well for getting rid of creepy stalkers, but I couldn't help relating the incident to mine when I got home, and now my curfew has crept up to ridiculously early. That's what you get for being honest and having no secrets from your nearest and dearest. I suppose we owe the 'rents a lot, but I have just been going through in my head all the things I don't do. Fourteen-year-old daughters must vary from country to country, but I can't imagine myself as too difficult a teenager to raise. I diligently practice Diabelli pieces on the guitar every night when I return from wherever I've been, and the only appreciation I receive is a muffled: "Stop screeching. I'm trying to sleep."

I go to school, if only to escape the monotony of life with the family. I don't bunk too much. However fearsome the teacher, I face up to them with trepidation and a polite "sorry" if I don't have my books (most of the time). I've even finished off a massive, ever-so-difficult geography project, and if I can sneak it into the staffroom, perhaps no one will notice that it was a month late. All I have ever done is let snails into the house. They sought refuge in my dad's shoe, and there was a not-pleasant squelch when Dad put it on. My much-loved pets had to be buried, and then I get called irresponsible, with a no-snail rule imposed on me for the next decade. Life's not fair.

Our legal consultant

Name: Dr Hassan Mohsen Elhais

Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.

The biog

Occupation: Key marker and auto electrician

Hometown: Ghazala, Syria

Date of arrival in Abu Dhabi: May 15, 1978

Family: 11 siblings, a wife, three sons and one daughter

Favourite place in UAE: Abu Dhabi

Favourite hobby: I like to do a mix of things, like listening to poetry for example.

Favourite Syrian artist: Sabah Fakhri, a tenor from Aleppo

Favourite food: fresh fish

Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.

Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.

“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.

Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.

“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.

Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.

From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.

Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.

BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.

Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.

Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.

“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.

Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.

“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.

“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”

The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”