Family life would run so much more smoothly if only we could all learn to listen to one another more effectively. Unfortunately, there are four very different sets of ears in my house. I like to think mine are always open, but I must confess that my memory is rather wilful these days. I cannot speak for my husband, who may or may not be listening as he nods along to something, deep in thought elsewhere.
Then, there are the smallest pairs: the 9-year-old child, who has been tested for dyslexia, has an excellent auditory memory, cultivated no doubt by the challenges she sometimes faces with the written word. This is great, but I’d really like her advanced listening skills to make the journey from her classroom to our home. Meanwhile, the youngest seems to have selective hearing, always hoping that what she wants is going to happen. Cue tears, shouting and disappointment. If you’d like to reduce the drama and increase the comprehension, here’s a starting point.
Mummy, are you listening?
Last Saturday my eldest daughter spent an entire day wailing and crying. When we all sat down to our evening meal and I asked for the hundredth time why we’d had such a torturous day, my youngest daughter chipped in: “Because you weren’t listening, mummy. She told you what she wanted to do, again and again, and because you wouldn’t listen, she started crying.”
The analysis was so matter of fact that it gave me pause. My daughter was right. Her sister had wanted the chance to play her favourite game and spent hours doing what everyone else wanted in the hope of a payback that never came. I'd stopped talking to her when the crying started. If I'd damped down my sense of frustration, stopped and given her request the 20 minutes it needed, I could have saved her (and the whole family) a lot of heartache.
Stop talking
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, authors of the classic parenting manual How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, agree that listening is a skill parents need to master. They say parents are all too quick to jump in and offer advice when our children come to us with a problem. This in turn leads to arguments because children feel that they are not being listened to and their feelings are being ignored. Try empathising and offering encouragement as your child tells you what's happened, instead of chipping in, and you'll give him or her the chance to explore what's happened, Faber and Mazlish say. It's a strategy that works on young children and teens, so start practising it.
Have realistic expectations
Just like any other skill, listening requires practice if you are to improve, and its foundations are laid in a child's formative years through listening to stories and learning nursery rhymes with parents or carers. By the time children reach the classroom, a 6-year-old is able to give their undivided attention for about five minutes, while older primary school children have an attention span of up to 10 minutes. A study in the United States on how easily primary school children are distracted, published in the peer-reviewed journal Learning and Instruction in April 2016, showed that 25 per cent of students in a class are not focused on their learning at any one time, highlighting how easy it is for kids' minds to stray. If you're barking complex instructions at a tired child over background noise, don't be surprised if they're not listening.
Have you heard me?
The remedy to an environment ringing with distraction is to create a direct connection: make sure your listener is looking at you when you’re speaking, keep any instructions simple with a maximum of two parts (please do x, then do y), and ask them to repeat what you have said to make sure that it has entered their consciousness.
Be constructive, not angry
Every family's morning starts with the battle to get to school on time. I used to yell instructions, looking at my watch, as my children ran around in circles, and we'd all collapse in the car half-exhausted by the effort, before the journey to school had even begun. It was a terrible way for everyone to start the day. Something had to give, and that something was me. These days my children only have to get up, have breakfast and get dressed, because I'm the one organising all the bits and pieces that used to cause the delay. Some mornings, I even tie their shoelaces, not because they're lazy and I'm too permissive, but because I'd rather we all have the energy to talk and listen to each other on the way to school than sit fuming in silence.
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Read more:
Talking to kids about self-esteem
Talking to kids about building confidence
Talking to kids about scary stuff
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Living in...
This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.
The rules on fostering in the UAE
A foster couple or family must:
- be Muslim, Emirati and be residing in the UAE
- not be younger than 25 years old
- not have been convicted of offences or crimes involving moral turpitude
- be free of infectious diseases or psychological and mental disorders
- have the ability to support its members and the foster child financially
- undertake to treat and raise the child in a proper manner and take care of his or her health and well-being
- A single, divorced or widowed Muslim Emirati female, residing in the UAE may apply to foster a child if she is at least 30 years old and able to support the child financially
The Perfect Couple
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Liev Schreiber, Jack Reynor
Creator: Jenna Lamia
Rating: 3/5
Ms Yang's top tips for parents new to the UAE
- Join parent networks
- Look beyond school fees
- Keep an open mind
Read more about the coronavirus
Retirement funds heavily invested in equities at a risky time
Pension funds in growing economies in Asia, Latin America and the Middle East have a sharply higher percentage of assets parked in stocks, just at a time when trade tensions threaten to derail markets.
Retirement money managers in 14 geographies now allocate 40 per cent of their assets to equities, an 8 percentage-point climb over the past five years, according to a Mercer survey released last week that canvassed government, corporate and mandatory pension funds with almost $5 trillion in assets under management. That compares with about 25 per cent for pension funds in Europe.
The escalating trade spat between the US and China has heightened fears that stocks are ripe for a downturn. With tensions mounting and outcomes driven more by politics than economics, the S&P 500 Index will be on course for a “full-scale bear market” without Federal Reserve interest-rate cuts, Citigroup’s global macro strategy team said earlier this week.
The increased allocation to equities by growth-market pension funds has come at the expense of fixed-income investments, which declined 11 percentage points over the five years, according to the survey.
Hong Kong funds have the highest exposure to equities at 66 per cent, although that’s been relatively stable over the period. Japan’s equity allocation jumped 13 percentage points while South Korea’s increased 8 percentage points.
The money managers are also directing a higher portion of their funds to assets outside of their home countries. On average, foreign stocks now account for 49 per cent of respondents’ equity investments, 4 percentage points higher than five years ago, while foreign fixed-income exposure climbed 7 percentage points to 23 per cent. Funds in Japan, South Korea, Malaysia and Taiwan are among those seeking greater diversification in stocks and fixed income.
• Bloomberg
Profile
Co-founders of the company: Vilhelm Hedberg and Ravi Bhusari
Launch year: In 2016 ekar launched and signed an agreement with Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi. In January 2017 ekar launched in Dubai in a partnership with the RTA.
Number of employees: Over 50
Financing stage: Series B currently being finalised
Investors: Series A - Audacia Capital
Sector of operation: Transport
Election pledges on migration
CDU: "Now is the time to control the German borders and enforce strict border rejections"
SPD: "Border closures and blanket rejections at internal borders contradict the spirit of a common area of freedom"
A MINECRAFT MOVIE
Director: Jared Hess
Starring: Jack Black, Jennifer Coolidge, Jason Momoa
Rating: 3/5
EA Sports FC 25
Developer: EA Vancouver, EA Romania
Publisher: EA Sports
Consoles: Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4&5, Xbox One and Xbox Series X/S
Rating: 3.5/5
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
Dr Afridi's warning signs of digital addiction
Spending an excessive amount of time on the phone.
Neglecting personal, social, or academic responsibilities.
Losing interest in other activities or hobbies that were once enjoyed.
Having withdrawal symptoms like feeling anxious, restless, or upset when the technology is not available.
Experiencing sleep disturbances or changes in sleep patterns.
What are the guidelines?
Under 18 months: Avoid screen time altogether, except for video chatting with family.
Aged 18-24 months: If screens are introduced, it should be high-quality content watched with a caregiver to help the child understand what they are seeing.
Aged 2-5 years: Limit to one-hour per day of high-quality programming, with co-viewing whenever possible.
Aged 6-12 years: Set consistent limits on screen time to ensure it does not interfere with sleep, physical activity, or social interactions.
Teenagers: Encourage a balanced approach – screens should not replace sleep, exercise, or face-to-face socialisation.
Source: American Paediatric Association
FINAL RESULT
Sharjah Wanderers 20 Dubai Tigers 25 (After extra-time)
Wanderers
Tries: Gormley, Penalty
cons: Flaherty
Pens: Flaherty 2
Tigers
Tries: O’Donnell, Gibbons, Kelly
Cons: Caldwell 2
Pens: Caldwell, Cross
Specs
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Range: 400km
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Torque: 175Nm
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Real estate tokenisation project
Dubai launched the pilot phase of its real estate tokenisation project last month.
The initiative focuses on converting real estate assets into digital tokens recorded on blockchain technology and helps in streamlining the process of buying, selling and investing, the Dubai Land Department said.
Dubai’s real estate tokenisation market is projected to reach Dh60 billion ($16.33 billion) by 2033, representing 7 per cent of the emirate’s total property transactions, according to the DLD.
