News of the volcano-triggered tsunami that hit Indonesia this week, reminded me of the time when my 8-year-old daughter was moved to tears while listening to the early morning news on the way to school. At the time, the death toll from the Sulawesi earthquake and tsunami on September 28 had risen to more than 1,500 people, and a woman was explaining how her two children, playing just out of sight, had been swept away. Her anguish was palpable, and my daughter was quickly overwhelmed by the mother's grief; her younger sister, meanwhile, calmly stared at the traffic out of the window.
Broadly speaking, empathy is our ability to understand and react to the feelings of someone else and it’s critical to successfully maintaining relationships. Empathy also encourages compassion and, sure enough, that evening after school, my daughter and I researched charities working in the relief effort in Indonesia to see what we could do to help. My youngest daughter talked about her maths exam and, again, I wondered at the difference between their responses. But is there a “right” amount of empathy? And how should parents cultivate it?
It’s about thoughts and feelings
Empathy has been widely studied in an effort to explain what makes people help – or fail to help – others in different situations. Social psychologists distinguish between two types of empathy: emotional and cognitive. The former occurs when the brain’s mirror neurons mimic the same emotion as someone else; you feel distress in response to the situation of another person and are driven to show compassion. Cognitive empathy is understanding rather than sharing another’s feelings. Some, perhaps like my eldest daughter, appear to be born with higher levels of emotional empathy, but most children learn it as they mature.
Reading faces
Babies begins to empathise by watching their mother’s face and associating her smiles with happiness. As children grow, they continue to observe others and learn to recognise how our faces reflect our emotions. Parents and carers can help kids tune in to how other people are feeling by talking about their own emotions (in good times and bad), and giving kids a nuanced vocabulary with which to express their own feelings. Asking open questions in response to feelings allows children to analyse and empathise, rather than simply being told someone is happy, sad or angry, for example.
Thinking it over
Don't get carried away waxing lyrical about feelings and forget to probe whether kids understand how someone is feeling. A study published in the journal Psychological Science in April last year found that people tend to overestimate their ability to read people's faces, and cognitive empathy – trying to understand what someone is going through – is actually more reliable in helping us connect with others. To foster this, when reading together at bedtime, talk about why a character in a book is behaving a certain way and what that might say about how the character is feeling.
Weave empathy into family life
Children learn by copying adult behaviour, and using empathy to communicate yourself is a great way to introduce its importance to your kids. Empathy is also a really useful way to motivate them to reach that parenting holy grail: doing what they are told without a bribe. In How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk, authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish advise parents to tell a child how their actions make them feel in order to better explain why they would like the child to change his/her behaviour. For example: "I'm very upset with the way that you are talking to me right now. I don't like the way that you are talking to me and I don't like the way that I am talking to you. I'm going to my bedroom now and closing the door. I need some time to cool down." This works better as a strategy than simply shouting commands or telling the child that he/she is wrong, the authors suggest. It also shows emotion in action and invites understanding: the two elements of empathy.
‘Put yourself in their shoes’
This is a useful phrase for helping kids to visualise cognitive empathy, but it's also a useful reminder for mums and dads. When was the last time that you put yourself in your children's shoes and took a moment to imagine how they are feeling? Remind yourself what the world looks like from someone who might be shorter than the height of a doorknob before you stand over him/her with a lifetime of advice or in a fit of anger.
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Read more:
Tips on how to prevent children from getting hooked on sugar
Take a level-headed approach when it comes to kids and discipline
Talking to kids about their listening skills - and improving yours
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The White Lotus: Season three
Creator: Mike White
Starring: Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Natasha Rothwell
Rating: 4.5/5
NO OTHER LAND
Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal
Stars: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham
Rating: 3.5/5
In numbers: PKK’s money network in Europe
Germany: PKK collectors typically bring in $18 million in cash a year – amount has trebled since 2010
Revolutionary tax: Investigators say about $2 million a year raised from ‘tax collection’ around Marseille
Extortion: Gunman convicted in 2023 of demanding $10,000 from Kurdish businessman in Stockholm
Drug trade: PKK income claimed by Turkish anti-drugs force in 2024 to be as high as $500 million a year
Denmark: PKK one of two terrorist groups along with Iranian separatists ASMLA to raise “two-digit million amounts”
Contributions: Hundreds of euros expected from typical Kurdish families and thousands from business owners
TV channel: Kurdish Roj TV accounts frozen and went bankrupt after Denmark fined it more than $1 million over PKK links in 2013
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Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
Real estate tokenisation project
Dubai launched the pilot phase of its real estate tokenisation project last month.
The initiative focuses on converting real estate assets into digital tokens recorded on blockchain technology and helps in streamlining the process of buying, selling and investing, the Dubai Land Department said.
Dubai’s real estate tokenisation market is projected to reach Dh60 billion ($16.33 billion) by 2033, representing 7 per cent of the emirate’s total property transactions, according to the DLD.
Skewed figures
In the village of Mevagissey in southwest England the housing stock has doubled in the last century while the number of residents is half the historic high. The village's Neighbourhood Development Plan states that 26% of homes are holiday retreats. Prices are high, averaging around £300,000, £50,000 more than the Cornish average of £250,000. The local average wage is £15,458.
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