College families are fascinating aspects of university life – this is when two students decide to get “college married”. No, of course they don’t get married – they’re just a male and female student who are elected to look after two freshers – “their children” – the following year. It’s nice for the freshers to have older students to help them settle in during the initial few frightening weeks of their first year away from home, and answer any questions.
There was definitely something in the air last term, which saw a rash of college marriages. My friend, Irene, even organised a mass wedding to marry off all the people falling over each other in their rush to get college hitched.
I’ve just had the privilege of attending Charlie and Chuyi’s wedding a few minutes ago. Irene and another friend, Paul, doggedly pursued Charlie and Chuyi, inviting them to the same events and casually dropping subtle hints such as: “Charlie, are you going to marry Chuyi already or not?”
When he finally decided to pop the question, we made rather elaborate plans to serenade her. The marshalled troops proceeded to Chuyi’s room in giddy, delirious anticipation, with Jaan as the obvious choice for singing soulful love ballads, while I’d fished out a mini-guitar. As it turned out, Chuyi wasn’t in her room. When Charlie finally did propose, a stale roll of bread with a hole in it functioned as the engagement ring – no one can deny he didn’t put in the effort.
Chuyi is Chinese and Charlie is British, so obviously it made perfect sense to decide on a traditional Indian wedding. According to ritual, the bride and groom walk around a bonfire seven times, with the bride holding a piece of cloth attached to the groom. A sweatshirt lying around was unceremoniously shoved into Charlie’s collar and Chuyi was handed the sleeve. We pretended the table was the fire – there wasn’t a whole lot of choice. As the presiding priest, I couldn’t find the text for the Sanskrit chants on Google so we settled for the next closest thing, which was the classic Hollywood wedding speech – you know the one that goes “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today ...”
There was a tentative suggestion of showering the couple with the nearest substitute for rose petals, which were crushed tea leaves in a pot on the table, but this was quickly quashed by Irene, whose room we were in. The bashful bride is currently spending her first hour of marital bliss doing an essay on her laptop across the room from me. The groom, true to his vows of promising to love, honour and cherish his college wife for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, has abandoned the wedding party and departed to watch a movie.
It was all lighthearted, good fun. All we are waiting for is the pitter-patter of tiny feet next year in the form of two overly excited freshers about to have their souls sucked out through their nostrils by the walk in the park that is university life.
The writer is an 18-year-old student at Cambridge who grew up in Dubai
The specs
AT4 Ultimate, as tested
Engine: 6.2-litre V8
Power: 420hp
Torque: 623Nm
Transmission: 10-speed automatic
Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)
On sale: Now
Match info:
Burnley 0
Manchester United 2
Lukaku (22', 44')
Red card: Marcus Rashford (Man United)
Man of the match: Romelu Lukaku (Manchester United)
Full Party in the Park line-up
2pm – Andreah
3pm – Supernovas
4.30pm – The Boxtones
5.30pm – Lighthouse Family
7pm – Step On DJs
8pm – Richard Ashcroft
9.30pm – Chris Wright
10pm – Fatboy Slim
11pm – Hollaphonic
The biog
Name: Gul Raziq
From: Charsadda, Pakistan
Family: Wife and six children
Favourite holes at Al Ghazal: 15 and 8
Golf Handicap: 6
Childhood sport: cricket
Indoor cricket in a nutshell
Indoor Cricket World Cup - Sep 16-20, Insportz, Dubai
16 Indoor cricket matches are 16 overs per side
8 There are eight players per team
9 There have been nine Indoor Cricket World Cups for men. Australia have won every one.
5 Five runs are deducted from the score when a wickets falls
4 Batsmen bat in pairs, facing four overs per partnership
Scoring In indoor cricket, runs are scored by way of both physical and bonus runs. Physical runs are scored by both batsmen completing a run from one crease to the other. Bonus runs are scored when the ball hits a net in different zones, but only when at least one physical run is score.
Zones
A Front net, behind the striker and wicketkeeper: 0 runs
B Side nets, between the striker and halfway down the pitch: 1 run
C Side nets between halfway and the bowlers end: 2 runs
D Back net: 4 runs on the bounce, 6 runs on the full
Abu Dhabi GP schedule
Friday: First practice - 1pm; Second practice - 5pm
Saturday: Final practice - 2pm; Qualifying - 5pm
Sunday: Etihad Airways Abu Dhabi Grand Prix (55 laps) - 5.10pm
T10 Cricket League
Sharjah Cricket Stadium
December 14- 17
6pm, Opening ceremony, followed by:
Bengal Tigers v Kerala Kings
Maratha Arabians v Pakhtoons
Tickets available online at q-tickets.com/t10
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
Our family matters legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
The specs
Engine: 0.8-litre four cylinder
Power: 70bhp
Torque: 66Nm
Transmission: four-speed manual
Price: $1,075 new in 1967, now valued at $40,000
On sale: Models from 1966 to 1970
The National's picks
4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
9.30pm: Forever Young
The biog
Marital status: Separated with two young daughters
Education: Master's degree from American Univeristy of Cairo
Favourite book: That Is How They Defeat Despair by Salwa Aladian
Favourite Motto: Their happiness is your happiness
Goal: For Nefsy to become his legacy long after he is gon
Start times
5.55am: Wheelchair Marathon Elites
6am: Marathon Elites
7am: Marathon Masses
9am: 10Km Road Race
11am: 4Km Fun Run
UAE WARRIORS RESULTS
Featherweight
Azouz Anwar (EGY) beat Marcelo Pontes (BRA)
TKO round 2
Catchweight 90kg
Moustafa Rashid Nada (KSA) beat Imad Al Howayeck (LEB)
Split points decision
Welterweight
Gimbat Ismailov (RUS) beat Mohammed Al Khatib (JOR)
TKO round 1
Flyweight (women)
Lucie Bertaud (FRA) beat Kelig Pinson (BEL)
Unanimous points decision
Lightweight
Alexandru Chitoran (ROU) beat Regelo Enumerables Jr (PHI)
TKO round 1
Catchweight 100kg
Marc Vleiger (NED) beat Mohamed Ali (EGY)
Rear neck choke round 1
Featherweight
James Bishop (NZ) beat Mark Valerio (PHI)
TKO round 2
Welterweight
Abdelghani Saber (EGY) beat Gerson Carvalho (BRA)
TKO round 1
Middleweight
Bakhtiyar Abbasov (AZE) beat Igor Litoshik (BLR)
Unanimous points decision
Bantamweight
Fabio Mello (BRA) beat Mark Alcoba (PHI)
Unanimous points decision
Welterweight
Ahmed Labban (LEB) v Magomedsultan Magomedsultanov (RUS)
TKO round 1
Bantamweight
Trent Girdham (AUS) beat Jayson Margallo (PHI)
TKO round 3
Lightweight
Usman Nurmagomedov (RUS) beat Roman Golovinov (UKR)
TKO round 1
Middleweight
Tarek Suleiman (SYR) beat Steve Kennedy (AUS)
Submission round 2
Lightweight
Dan Moret (USA) v Anton Kuivanen (FIN)
TKO round 2
Abandon
Sangeeta Bandyopadhyay
Translated by Arunava Sinha
Tilted Axis Press
Company profile
Date started: 2015
Founder: John Tsioris and Ioanna Angelidaki
Based: Dubai
Sector: Online grocery delivery
Staff: 200
Funding: Undisclosed, but investors include the Jabbar Internet Group and Venture Friends
Test
Director: S Sashikanth
Cast: Nayanthara, Siddharth, Meera Jasmine, R Madhavan
Star rating: 2/5