Desi girl: If I didn’t cook for my husband, he would just ‘starve and die’



I returned home from work one day last week to find the house smelled strange. My nose led me to the kitchen door. I opened it, kind of prepared for the oncoming olfactory assault, but not entirely. The kitchen was absolutely reeking.

During a chat over the phone that afternoon, my husband had mentioned that when he was leaving for work in the morning, he had opened the fridge and had thought there was something wrong with it. Of course, in true desi husband fashion, mine had innocently disregarded the warning signs, assured that his good desi wife would take care of things and eight hours later, I got home to hardly anything left in the fridge that had not gone off. At least he had the good sense to close the kitchen door, saving the rest of the house from getting stunk up.

I sighed as I began emptying the fridge. As I discarded a pack of shredded mozzarella that had congealed into a big glob, I couldn’t help wondering about how differently the minds of men work, as opposed to those of women, especially in desi households.

Would a woman have gone off to work knowing the fridge might be broken? Nope. Not before making sure that anything and everything that needs cooling has either found a temporary home in a neighbour’s fridge, or has been consumed or discarded.

“It is kind of your fault,” a friend of mine gave me some tough love when I called her to vent. “How do you expect him to know his way around the kitchen if you are making breakfast sandwiches for him every morning?”

I begrudgingly agreed. I make a butter/jam or Nutella creation every morning and wrap it up in sandwich paper, leaving it on the coffee table.

“What will you do if you wake up one day to find that I haven’t made a sandwich for you?” I asked my husband one day.

“I’ll starve and die,” he stated, simply.

“Won’t you just go and make yourself a sandwich?” I asked.

“Nope,” he shrugged. “I’ll just starve and die.”

Both my friend and my husband have a point. For all my moaning about always having to do everything around the kitchen, I really won’t have it any other way.

Despite my staunch feminist sensibilities, I will always be desi at heart. And the desi in me insists that, regardless of full-time office jobs, the kitchen is the woman’s kingdom – and her domain. Sure, it would be nice to have help once in a while, but on a daily basis, I want to be the only one in charge of my kitchen and everything in it.

My ideas seem terribly antiquated to my western friends, who take turns with their husbands in washing up, cooking and cleaning. To me, their rota system is an abomination. In the 21st century, I have a hard time explaining myself. All I can say is that it’s a desi thing and our husbands sure aren’t complaining. We aren’t either; well, until the fridge stops working.

The writer is an honest-to-goodness desi living in Dubai

The burning issue

The internal combustion engine is facing a watershed moment – major manufacturer Volvo is to stop producing petroleum-powered vehicles by 2021 and countries in Europe, including the UK, have vowed to ban their sale before 2040. The National takes a look at the story of one of the most successful technologies of the last 100 years and how it has impacted life in the UAE. 

Read part four: an affection for classic cars lives on

Read part three: the age of the electric vehicle begins

Read part two: how climate change drove the race for an alternative 

Volvo ES90 Specs

Engine: Electric single motor (96kW), twin motor (106kW) and twin motor performance (106kW)

Power: 333hp, 449hp, 680hp

Torque: 480Nm, 670Nm, 870Nm

On sale: Later in 2025 or early 2026, depending on region

Price: Exact regional pricing TBA

Key facilities
  • Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
  • Premier League-standard football pitch
  • 400m Olympic running track
  • NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
  • 600-seat auditorium
  • Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
  • An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
  • Specialist robotics and science laboratories
  • AR and VR-enabled learning centres
  • Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
The biog

Fatima Al Darmaki is an Emirati widow with three children

She has received 46 certificates of appreciation and excellence throughout her career

She won the 'ideal mother' category at the Minister of Interior Awards for Excellence

Her favourite food is Harees, a slow-cooked porridge-like dish made from boiled wheat berries mixed with chicken

FIGHT%20CARD
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The Year Earth Changed

Directed by:Tom Beard

Narrated by: Sir David Attenborough

Stars: 4

Family reunited

Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe was born and raised in Tehran and studied English literature before working as a translator in the relief effort for the Japanese International Co-operation Agency in 2003.

She moved to the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies before moving to the World Health Organisation as a communications officer.

She came to the UK in 2007 after securing a scholarship at London Metropolitan University to study a master's in communication management and met her future husband through mutual friends a month later.

The couple were married in August 2009 in Winchester and their daughter was born in June 2014.

She was held in her native country a year later.

A Cat, A Man, and Two Women
Junichiro
Tamizaki
Translated by Paul McCarthy
Daunt Books 

Anghami
Started: December 2011
Co-founders: Elie Habib, Eddy Maroun
Based: Beirut and Dubai
Sector: Entertainment
Size: 85 employees
Stage: Series C
Investors: MEVP, du, Mobily, MBC, Samena Capital

Milestones on the road to union

1970

October 26: Bahrain withdraws from a proposal to create a federation of nine with the seven Trucial States and Qatar. 

December: Ahmed Al Suwaidi visits New York to discuss potential UN membership.

1971

March 1:  Alex Douglas Hume, Conservative foreign secretary confirms that Britain will leave the Gulf and “strongly supports” the creation of a Union of Arab Emirates.

July 12: Historic meeting at which Sheikh Zayed and Sheikh Rashid make a binding agreement to create what will become the UAE.

July 18: It is announced that the UAE will be formed from six emirates, with a proposed constitution signed. RAK is not yet part of the agreement.

August 6:  The fifth anniversary of Sheikh Zayed becoming Ruler of Abu Dhabi, with official celebrations deferred until later in the year.

August 15: Bahrain becomes independent.

September 3: Qatar becomes independent.

November 23-25: Meeting with Sheikh Zayed and Sheikh Rashid and senior British officials to fix December 2 as date of creation of the UAE.

November 29:  At 5.30pm Iranian forces seize the Greater and Lesser Tunbs by force.

November 30: Despite  a power sharing agreement, Tehran takes full control of Abu Musa. 

November 31: UK officials visit all six participating Emirates to formally end the Trucial States treaties

December 2: 11am, Dubai. New Supreme Council formally elects Sheikh Zayed as President. Treaty of Friendship signed with the UK. 11.30am. Flag raising ceremony at Union House and Al Manhal Palace in Abu Dhabi witnessed by Sheikh Khalifa, then Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi.

December 6: Arab League formally admits the UAE. The first British Ambassador presents his credentials to Sheikh Zayed.

December 9: UAE joins the United Nations.

Planes grounded by coronavirus

British Airways: Cancels all direct flights to and from mainland China 

Hong Kong-based Cathay Pacific: Cutting capacity to/from mainland China by 50 per cent from Jan. 30

Chicago-based United Airlines: Reducing flights to Beijing, Shanghai, and Hong Kong

Ai Seoul:  Suspended all flights to China

Finnair: Suspending flights to Nanjing and Beijing Daxing until the end of March

Indonesia's Lion Air: Suspending all flights to China from February

South Korea's Asiana Airlines,  Jeju Air  and Jin Air: Suspend all flights

Kanguva
Director: Siva
Stars: Suriya, Bobby Deol, Disha Patani, Yogi Babu, Redin Kingsley
Rating: 2/5
 
BABYLON
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