When you’re a newly joined couple, you start looking for other couples to hang out with – for the ease of mind provided by an even number, for the aesthetic symmetry of a dinner table, for the ebb and flow of balanced conversation. When you’re pregnant, you want to connect with anyone else with an occupant in their womb, eager to compare nausea levels and discuss the merits of a foot massage.
And then, when you’re a brand-new mum and dad trying to navigate the war zone that is parenting, you will be desperate to befriend any other parent out there, regardless of their child’s age, in the hopes that that parent has figured out this whole parenting thing and can let you in on a survival tactic or two. (Misery, I hear, loves company.)
Soon after Baby A’s arrival, Mr T and I found ourselves frantic for contact with other parents. We needed help in navigation, badly, and for so many reasons: for us, for her, for our peace of mind, for a reliable source of information from people who have been there and done that, for the understanding that comes with being a fellow parent and for the pleasure of engaging in conversation with a 3- or 4-year-old and knowing that one day, we’ll be doing that with Baby A.
When we’re out for dinner with other parents, it doesn’t matter if Baby A is being a holy terror in her high chair or refusing to eat a single bite or cranky for want of sleep. They’ve been through it and are compassionate; we don’t have to apologise for our daughter.
When we’re out with friends who don’t have children, it is inevitable that either I or Mr T will pick up Her Dictatorship pre-meltdown and step away from the table. Is it because we don’t want to disrupt an “adult” meal, or hear anyone ask us if she’s always like this (she’s not), or deflect a comment about how they don’t know how we do it (we don’t know either), or have them feel sorry for us? Maybe it’s because we’ve vowed never to be the parents with a whiny child disturbing other diners. Whatever the reason, the bottom line remains: it’s stressful.
Life in the UAE is transitory. A couple we’ve met in our building, with a daughter close in age to Baby A, will be moving to Qatar this month, because that is the curse of the expatriate lifestyle. Friends you make here may one day have to leave.
Our devastation at their impending departure is palpable. We’ve connected with them on a level I’ve not found with anyone else in my five years in the UAE. Our families mesh perfectly. Our daughters hug and kiss each other every time they reunite, and instead of playing in parallel, as is expected for their age, they actually interact and play with one another, which is always a source of amazement for us parents.
Once I’m over the mourning period, I’m going to have to go back to my original tactics to find potential friends with kids. Joining Abu Dhabi Mums is high on the agenda. Trolling Facebook groups of parents in different residences in Abu Dhabi is not above me. Engaging in seemingly innocent conversations with other mums and dads at My First Gym (corner of Muroor and Delma streets) while our babies tumble and giggle, and arranging random play dates, must be done. I am no good as a mum to Baby A if I don’t have an equally exhausted mum-friend to complain to.
Hala Khalaf is a freelance writer living in Abu Dhabi
artslife@thenational.ae
Labour dispute
The insured employee may still file an ILOE claim even if a labour dispute is ongoing post termination, but the insurer may suspend or reject payment, until the courts resolve the dispute, especially if the reason for termination is contested. The outcome of the labour court proceedings can directly affect eligibility.
- Abdullah Ishnaneh, Partner, BSA Law
COMPANY PROFILE
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Total funding: Self funded
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Director: Dean Fleischer Camp
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The specs
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Points classification after Stage 4
1. Arnaud Demare (France / FDJ) 124
2. Marcel Kittel (Germany / Quick-Step) 81
3. Michael Matthews (Australia / Sunweb) 66
4. Andre Greipel (Germany / Lotto) 63
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The specs: 2018 Nissan 370Z Nismo
The specs: 2018 Nissan 370Z Nismo
Price, base / as tested: Dh182,178
Engine: 3.7-litre V6
Power: 350hp @ 7,400rpm
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The bio
His favourite book - 1984 by George Orwell
His favourite quote - 'If you think education is expensive, try ignorance' by Derek Bok, Former President of Harvard
Favourite place to travel to - Peloponnese, Southern Greece
Favourite movie - The Last Emperor
Favourite personality from history - Alexander the Great
Role Model - My father, Yiannis Davos
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NO OTHER LAND
Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal
Stars: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham
Rating: 3.5/5
Where to donate in the UAE
The Emirates Charity Portal
You can donate to several registered charities through a “donation catalogue”. The use of the donation is quite specific, such as buying a fan for a poor family in Niger for Dh130.
The General Authority of Islamic Affairs & Endowments
The site has an e-donation service accepting debit card, credit card or e-Dirham, an electronic payment tool developed by the Ministry of Finance and First Abu Dhabi Bank.
Al Noor Special Needs Centre
You can donate online or order Smiles n’ Stuff products handcrafted by Al Noor students. The centre publishes a wish list of extras needed, starting at Dh500.
Beit Al Khair Society
Beit Al Khair Society has the motto “From – and to – the UAE,” with donations going towards the neediest in the country. Its website has a list of physical donation sites, but people can also contribute money by SMS, bank transfer and through the hotline 800-22554.
Dar Al Ber Society
Dar Al Ber Society, which has charity projects in 39 countries, accept cash payments, money transfers or SMS donations. Its donation hotline is 800-79.
Dubai Cares
Dubai Cares provides several options for individuals and companies to donate, including online, through banks, at retail outlets, via phone and by purchasing Dubai Cares branded merchandise. It is currently running a campaign called Bookings 2030, which allows people to help change the future of six underprivileged children and young people.
Emirates Airline Foundation
Those who travel on Emirates have undoubtedly seen the little donation envelopes in the seat pockets. But the foundation also accepts donations online and in the form of Skywards Miles. Donated miles are used to sponsor travel for doctors, surgeons, engineers and other professionals volunteering on humanitarian missions around the world.
Emirates Red Crescent
On the Emirates Red Crescent website you can choose between 35 different purposes for your donation, such as providing food for fasters, supporting debtors and contributing to a refugee women fund. It also has a list of bank accounts for each donation type.
Gulf for Good
Gulf for Good raises funds for partner charity projects through challenges, like climbing Kilimanjaro and cycling through Thailand. This year’s projects are in partnership with Street Child Nepal, Larchfield Kids, the Foundation for African Empowerment and SOS Children's Villages. Since 2001, the organisation has raised more than $3.5 million (Dh12.8m) in support of over 50 children’s charities.
Noor Dubai Foundation
Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum launched the Noor Dubai Foundation a decade ago with the aim of eliminating all forms of preventable blindness globally. You can donate Dh50 to support mobile eye camps by texting the word “Noor” to 4565 (Etisalat) or 4849 (du).
