Long-time Hollywood couple Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonet shocked the world this month when they announced their split on social media. It has since been reported that the Aquaman and Game of Thrones star spent an increasing amount of time on the road filming that his 16-year relationship suffered as a result.
For a growing number of couples, though, living apart is simply more pragmatic. For some, it is even more romantic than sharing a bedroom, bathroom and permanent address.
So how can one make a long-distance marriages work?
UAE to Saudi Arabia
University administrator Miranda Roberts has been married to her husband, David, for 19 years, 11 of which have been spent living in different countries.
The couple, from Toronto, moved to Dubai 12 years ago, with David, an engineer, heading to Saudi a year later to work on tourism projects in the region.
“Pining doesn’t help anyone. You have to be happy and become your own person
Miranda Roberts,
university administrator
And far from causing problems, Roberts says distance is key to their marital bliss.
“I couldn’t imagine having someone home every day,” she says. “We are individual people and we’re both very independent. We have a very strong marriage and when he’s home it’s like he never left.”
Usually, David comes back to Dubai every weekend to spend time with Miranda and the couple’s son Jacob, 17, but work demands mean the pair haven’t seen each other for five months.
“Pining doesn’t help anyone,” says Roberts, who has built a successful career and a close-knit group of friends in Dubai. “You have to be happy and become your own person.”
She and David both have a “sense of purpose” outside the marriage, which Roberts says is crucial to a successful long-distance relationship.
“We don’t have that day-to-day drag of coming home from work and regurgitating everything that’s happened,” she says. “We make the most of our time together.”
Luckily, Jacob is mature about the situation and is always excited to see his father when he returns to the family home. “Jacob is considerate and well-behaved, so I’ve never had problems with disciplining him alone,” says Roberts.
Currently, David has no plans to move back to Dubai and Miranda is happy to continue with her jam-packed independent lifestyle.
“It can get lonely at times and I do have to celebrate a lot of stuff on my own, but on the flip side, I get to do so much of what I want to do,” she says. “It’s all about getting the balance right.”
From Hollywood to Bollywood
Like Momoa, a demanding film schedule keeps Indian soap star Neha Marda, 36, away from the family home.
The actress spends Monday to Friday filming in Mumbai, while her husband of nine years, Ayushman Agrawal, runs a business 1,800 kilometres away in Patna.
And, like Roberts, Marda says that distance itself is what keeps the spark alive.
My husband and I are both ambitious and our work is endless, but we make sure that we make time for each other
Neha Marda,
actress
“Our relationship is really fresh because we don’t take each other for granted and when we do see each other, it’s incredible,” she says. “Obviously you’re going to miss each other, but we value our time a lot more.
“The biggest difficulty is communication,” she continues. “It’s important to talk a lot and be present for each other. If you have a falling out, you have to make it up straight away or it can drag on when you don’t see each other to patch things up.”
For Marda, all relationships take effort, and long-distance marriages are no different, though she recommends making time for the other person whenever possible.
“My husband and I are both ambitious and our work is endless, but we make sure that we make time for each other,” she says. “I fly to Patna every weekend, so we can share a social life and spend quality time together.”
For the greater good
Lisa McKay, 45, an Australian psychologist, and Michael Wolfe, 45, an aid worker from the US, have kept up their long-distance marriage for 13 years and have two children, Dominic, 10, and Alex, 8.
The pair were introduced by a mutual friend online and began their relationship by writing letters to each other while McKay lived in Los Angeles and Wolfe lived in Papua New Guinea.
We’ve learnt how to communicate well over the years. It’s helped me become a better listener and a better human
Michael Wolfe,
aid worker and growth coach
They got engaged after spending only 20 days in the same country, though much of their marriage has been spent on opposite sides of the world.
“We feel the way we started our relationship gave us a really good foundation and has helped us in our togetherness,” says McKay, who has published a book about her long-distance marriage. “It was difficult when the kids were young, but we’ve reaped the benefits of being apart.”
Over the years, Wolfe’s job has taken him to Laos, Indonesia, Sudan and the Solomon Islands for months or even years at a time, while McKay’s work as a psychologist supporting aid agencies has taken her across continents, too.
Currently, both McKay and Wolfe are in Sydney, Australia, with the pandemic wreaking havoc with international aid. However, when another humanitarian mission arises and travel is possible, Wolfe will inevitably be posted abroad again.
“We’ve learnt how to communicate well over the years and distance has really served our relationship,” says Wolfe, who also works as a professional growth coach. “It’s helped me become a better listener, a better coach and a better human.”
A transatlantic production
British theatre director Jordan Murphy met his American wife Mariel Letourneau in 2015 while working in a New York summer camp and decided to carry on their relationship when he returned to the UK.
Their love grew during long FaceTime calls and holidays, and in 2017, they married. Letourneau, a choreographer, moved to the UK in 2019, but the reunion was short-lived.
This move [of living together] felt right and we feel determined to make our life here
Mariel Letourneau
“Mariel moved to England and unfortunately just as she was settling, Covid-19 hit,” says Murphy, 30. “We tried to generate income, but because of the impact Covid had on our industry, we lost all our work and decided we needed a change.”
Letourneau moved back to Pennsylvania alone while the couple embarked on a second lengthy and exhausting visa process, which was finally granted earlier this month after another eight months of separation.
“After being apart for nearly seven years, I’m so happy and excited to be with Mariel again,” says Murphy. “This move felt right and we feel determined to make our life here.”
For Letourneau, it’s also been worth the wait, but getting to this point has been difficult. “Keeping the spark alive has been a challenge for sure,” she says. “I think spending a lot of time apart in the first few years was a great thing because it made us appreciate all the moments we would actually spend together – but I think that only lasts so long.
“Eventually, you need to be with that person, which is why we decided to make the commitment to get married and go through with immigration.”
Expert advice
Letourneau's words of wisdom are echoed by clinical therapist and life coach Anne Jackson of One Life Coaching.
“Long-distance marriages are hard, but they can work if there’s an end date in sight,” she says. “You have to be invested in visiting each other and staying in touch by video call.
“Knowing their life, their routine and what makes them happy, and sharing their joy is very important.”
Dangers can arise, Jackson warns, when communication is lost or when there is an imbalance between the efforts made by each party.
“Staying in touch is the most important thing,” she adds. “A relationship is based on transparency, currency and intimacy, and you need to maintain all of those things to maintain a successful long-distance marriage.”
GAC GS8 Specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4cyl turbo
Power: 248hp at 5,200rpm
Torque: 400Nm at 1,750-4,000rpm
Transmission: 8-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 9.1L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh149,900
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Dubai Rugby Sevens
November 30-December 2, at The Sevens, Dubai
Gulf Under 19
Pool A – Abu Dhabi Harlequins, Jumeirah College Tigers, Dubai English Speaking School 1, Gems World Academy
Pool B – British School Al Khubairat, Bahrain Colts, Jumeirah College Lions, Dubai English Speaking School 2
Pool C - Dubai College A, Dubai Sharks, Jumeirah English Speaking School, Al Yasmina
Pool D – Dubai Exiles, Dubai Hurricanes, Al Ain Amblers, Deira International School
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The burning issue
The internal combustion engine is facing a watershed moment – major manufacturer Volvo is to stop producing petroleum-powered vehicles by 2021 and countries in Europe, including the UK, have vowed to ban their sale before 2040. The National takes a look at the story of one of the most successful technologies of the last 100 years and how it has impacted life in the UAE.
Read part four: an affection for classic cars lives on
Read part three: the age of the electric vehicle begins
Read part one: how cars came to the UAE
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
The years Ramadan fell in May
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
The five pillars of Islam
RESULTS
Catchweight 82kg
Piotr Kuberski (POL) beat Ahmed Saeb (IRQ) by decision.
Women’s bantamweight
Corinne Laframboise (CAN) beat Cornelia Holm (SWE) by unanimous decision.
Welterweight
Omar Hussein (PAL) beat Vitalii Stoian (UKR) by unanimous decision.
Welterweight
Josh Togo (LEB) beat Ali Dyusenov (UZB) by unanimous decision.
Flyweight
Isaac Pimentel (BRA) beat Delfin Nawen (PHI) TKO round-3.
Catchweight 80kg
Seb Eubank (GBR) beat Emad Hanbali (SYR) KO round 1.
Lightweight
Mohammad Yahya (UAE) beat Ramadan Noaman (EGY) TKO round 2.
Lightweight
Alan Omer (GER) beat Reydon Romero (PHI) submission 1.
Welterweight
Juho Valamaa (FIN) beat Ahmed Labban (LEB) by unanimous decision.
Featherweight
Elias Boudegzdame (ALG) beat Austin Arnett (USA) by unanimous decision.
Super heavyweight
Maciej Sosnowski (POL) beat Ibrahim El Sawi (EGY) by submission round 1.
'The worst thing you can eat'
Trans fat is typically found in fried and baked goods, but you may be consuming more than you think.
Powdered coffee creamer, microwave popcorn and virtually anything processed with a crust is likely to contain it, as this guide from Mayo Clinic outlines:
Baked goods - Most cakes, cookies, pie crusts and crackers contain shortening, which is usually made from partially hydrogenated vegetable oil. Ready-made frosting is another source of trans fat.
Snacks - Potato, corn and tortilla chips often contain trans fat. And while popcorn can be a healthy snack, many types of packaged or microwave popcorn use trans fat to help cook or flavour the popcorn.
Fried food - Foods that require deep frying — french fries, doughnuts and fried chicken — can contain trans fat from the oil used in the cooking process.
Refrigerator dough - Products such as canned biscuits and cinnamon rolls often contain trans fat, as do frozen pizza crusts.
Creamer and margarine - Nondairy coffee creamer and stick margarines also may contain partially hydrogenated vegetable oils.
Farage on Muslim Brotherhood
Nigel Farage told Reform's annual conference that the party will proscribe the Muslim Brotherhood if he becomes Prime Minister.
"We will stop dangerous organisations with links to terrorism operating in our country," he said. "Quite why we've been so gutless about this – both Labour and Conservative – I don't know.
“All across the Middle East, countries have banned and proscribed the Muslim Brotherhood as a dangerous organisation. We will do the very same.”
It is 10 years since a ground-breaking report into the Muslim Brotherhood by Sir John Jenkins.
Among the former diplomat's findings was an assessment that “the use of extreme violence in the pursuit of the perfect Islamic society” has “never been institutionally disowned” by the movement.
The prime minister at the time, David Cameron, who commissioned the report, said membership or association with the Muslim Brotherhood was a "possible indicator of extremism" but it would not be banned.
The story of Edge
Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed, Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi and Deputy Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces, established Edge in 2019.
It brought together 25 state-owned and independent companies specialising in weapons systems, cyber protection and electronic warfare.
Edge has an annual revenue of $5 billion and employs more than 12,000 people.
Some of the companies include Nimr, a maker of armoured vehicles, Caracal, which manufactures guns and ammunitions company, Lahab
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Top 10 in the F1 drivers' standings
1. Sebastian Vettel, Ferrari 202 points
2. Lewis Hamilton, Mercedes-GP 188
3. Valtteri Bottas, Mercedes-GP 169
4. Daniel Ricciardo, Red Bull Racing 117
5. Kimi Raikkonen, Ferrari 116
6. Max Verstappen, Red Bull Racing 67
7. Sergio Perez, Force India 56
8. Esteban Ocon, Force India 45
9. Carlos Sainz Jr, Toro Rosso 35
10. Nico Hulkenberg, Renault 26
In numbers: China in Dubai
The number of Chinese people living in Dubai: An estimated 200,000
Number of Chinese people in International City: Almost 50,000
Daily visitors to Dragon Mart in 2018/19: 120,000
Daily visitors to Dragon Mart in 2010: 20,000
Percentage increase in visitors in eight years: 500 per cent
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
The Voice of Hind Rajab
Starring: Saja Kilani, Clara Khoury, Motaz Malhees
Director: Kaouther Ben Hania
Rating: 4/5
More coverage from the Future Forum
About Okadoc
Date started: Okadoc, 2018
Founder/CEO: Fodhil Benturquia
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Healthcare
Size: (employees/revenue) 40 staff; undisclosed revenues recording “double-digit” monthly growth
Funding stage: Series B fundraising round to conclude in February
Investors: Undisclosed
RESULTS
6.30pm Handicap (TB) $68,000 (Dirt) 1,200m
Winner Canvassed, Par Dobbs (jockey), Doug Watson (trainer)
7.05pm Meydan Cup – Listed Handicap (TB) $88,000 (Turf) 2,810m
Winner Dubai Future, Frankie Dettori, Saeed bin Suroor
7.40pm UAE 2000 Guineas – Group 3 (TB) $125,000 (D) 1,600m
Winner Mouheeb, Ryan Curatolo, Nicholas Bachalard
8.15pm Firebreak Stakes – Group 3 (TB) $130,000 (D) 1,600m
Winner Secret Ambition, Tadhg O’Shea, Satish Seemar
9.50pm Meydan Classic – Conditions (TB) $$50,000 (T) 1,400m
Winner Topper Bill, Richard Mullen, Satish Seemar
9.25pm Dubai Sprint – Listed Handicap (TB) $88,000 (T) 1,200m
Winner Man Of Promise, William Buick, Charlie Appleby
The years Ramadan fell in May
The specs
Engine: 3.9-litre twin-turbo V8
Power: 620hp from 5,750-7,500rpm
Torque: 760Nm from 3,000-5,750rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed dual-clutch auto
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh1.05 million ($286,000)
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
If you go...
Fly from Dubai or Abu Dhabi to Chiang Mai in Thailand, via Bangkok, before taking a five-hour bus ride across the Laos border to Huay Xai. The land border crossing at Huay Xai is a well-trodden route, meaning entry is swift, though travellers should be aware of visa requirements for both countries.
Flights from Dubai start at Dh4,000 return with Emirates, while Etihad flights from Abu Dhabi start at Dh2,000. Local buses can be booked in Chiang Mai from around Dh50
F1 The Movie
Starring: Brad Pitt, Damson Idris, Kerry Condon, Javier Bardem
Director: Joseph Kosinski
Rating: 4/5
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
HAJJAN
%3Cp%3EDirector%3A%20Abu%20Bakr%20Shawky%C2%A0%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cbr%3EStarring%3A%20Omar%20Alatawi%2C%20Tulin%20Essam%2C%20Ibrahim%20Al-Hasawi%C2%A0%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cbr%3ERating%3A%204%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
KILLING OF QASSEM SULEIMANI
Dubai Bling season three
Cast: Loujain Adada, Zeina Khoury, Farhana Bodi, Ebraheem Al Samadi, Mona Kattan, and couples Safa & Fahad Siddiqui and DJ Bliss & Danya Mohammed
Rating: 1/5
If you go
Flight connections to Ulaanbaatar are available through a variety of hubs, including Seoul and Beijing, with airlines including Mongolian Airlines and Korean Air. While some nationalities, such as Americans, don’t need a tourist visa for Mongolia, others, including UAE citizens, can obtain a visa on arrival, while others including UK citizens, need to obtain a visa in advance. Contact the Mongolian Embassy in the UAE for more information.
Nomadic Road offers expedition-style trips to Mongolia in January and August, and other destinations during most other months. Its nine-day August 2020 Mongolia trip will cost from $5,250 per person based on two sharing, including airport transfers, two nights’ hotel accommodation in Ulaanbaatar, vehicle rental, fuel, third party vehicle liability insurance, the services of a guide and support team, accommodation, food and entrance fees; nomadicroad.com
A fully guided three-day, two-night itinerary at Three Camel Lodge costs from $2,420 per person based on two sharing, including airport transfers, accommodation, meals and excursions including the Yol Valley and Flaming Cliffs. A return internal flight from Ulaanbaatar to Dalanzadgad costs $300 per person and the flight takes 90 minutes each way; threecamellodge.com
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cylinder turbo
Power: 240hp at 5,500rpm
Torque: 390Nm at 3,000rpm
Transmission: eight-speed auto
Price: from Dh122,745
On sale: now
BEACH SOCCER WORLD CUP
Group A
Paraguay
Japan
Switzerland
USA
Group B
Uruguay
Mexico
Italy
Tahiti
Group C
Belarus
UAE
Senegal
Russia
Group D
Brazil
Oman
Portugal
Nigeria
Infiniti QX80 specs
Engine: twin-turbocharged 3.5-liter V6
Power: 450hp
Torque: 700Nm
Price: From Dh450,000, Autograph model from Dh510,000
Available: Now
Specs
Engine: Electric motor generating 54.2kWh (Cooper SE and Aceman SE), 64.6kW (Countryman All4 SE)
Power: 218hp (Cooper and Aceman), 313hp (Countryman)
Torque: 330Nm (Cooper and Aceman), 494Nm (Countryman)
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh158,000 (Cooper), Dh168,000 (Aceman), Dh190,000 (Countryman)
The specs
AT4 Ultimate, as tested
Engine: 6.2-litre V8
Power: 420hp
Torque: 623Nm
Transmission: 10-speed automatic
Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)
On sale: Now
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
