As an expert with more than three decades of experience in making (and breaking) New Year's resolutions, I have come to the conclusion that the whole system is seriously flawed.
Nobody needs that kind of pressure.
Why take on the burden of self-improvement, especially when one is not in any particular need of improvement? These pacts aimed at achieving a healthier body, a calmer mind and a more fulfilled existence - they sometimes lead to feelings of immense guilt.
And that is why I have decided that 2013 is a good opportunity to shake things up a bit and present New Year's resolutions the way they should have been all along - made by an individual on behalf of other people, thereby ridding one's self of the responsibility of complying as well as the guilt resulting from the failure to do so.
Below are a couple of resolutions I made on behalf of people who could use some improvement.
For drivers with no road sense: I will try to remember that those white dashes painted on the road indicate that I must stay on either side of them, within an area regarded as a lane. I will also try my best not to straddle those white dashes for 500-metre stretches.
For smartphone fiends: I will try not to lose myself in BBM and Facebook newsfeeds trawling at red traffic lights, because the traffic light turning red is an indicator for me to stop the car, not for me to start using my smartphone. When out with friends, I will resist the urge to check my BBM every 30 seconds and instead give face time to people who give me face time.
For the fashionably challenged: An ugly article of clothing costs money. That money can easily be spent on decent articles of clothing. I will try to keep that in mind the next time I go shopping.
For parents with annoying children: I will not take my child to a movie for grown-ups. But if I do, and my child starts talking or crying during the movie, I will escort the child outside, because I know that if I stay in the theatre, at least one member of the audience will embarrass me by shouting at me to shut my child up. I will also come to terms with the fact that the child I find so adorable might be a little less so to other people.
For people with no sense of personal space: Physical contact with strangers in a queue is not everyone's cup of tea. I will try to maintain respectable distance. Realistically speaking, I know I will still lean into the back of the person in front of me, so I will try to make this experience less traumatic for them by maintaining good personal hygiene.
And last but not the least, a New Year's resolution on behalf of the Hollywood actor Ryan Gosling: to make more frequent visits to Dubai and befriend a certain Desi Girl.
Happy New Year everyone and please try to stick to your resolutions as long as you can. Especially you, Mr Gosling.
Ujala Ali Khan is an honest-to-goodness desi girl living in Dubai
The rules on fostering in the UAE
A foster couple or family must:
- be Muslim, Emirati and be residing in the UAE
- not be younger than 25 years old
- not have been convicted of offences or crimes involving moral turpitude
- be free of infectious diseases or psychological and mental disorders
- have the ability to support its members and the foster child financially
- undertake to treat and raise the child in a proper manner and take care of his or her health and well-being
- A single, divorced or widowed Muslim Emirati female, residing in the UAE may apply to foster a child if she is at least 30 years old and able to support the child financially
In numbers: PKK’s money network in Europe
Germany: PKK collectors typically bring in $18 million in cash a year – amount has trebled since 2010
Revolutionary tax: Investigators say about $2 million a year raised from ‘tax collection’ around Marseille
Extortion: Gunman convicted in 2023 of demanding $10,000 from Kurdish businessman in Stockholm
Drug trade: PKK income claimed by Turkish anti-drugs force in 2024 to be as high as $500 million a year
Denmark: PKK one of two terrorist groups along with Iranian separatists ASMLA to raise “two-digit million amounts”
Contributions: Hundreds of euros expected from typical Kurdish families and thousands from business owners
TV channel: Kurdish Roj TV accounts frozen and went bankrupt after Denmark fined it more than $1 million over PKK links in 2013
How being social media savvy can improve your well being
Next time when procastinating online remember that you can save thousands on paying for a personal trainer and a gym membership simply by watching YouTube videos and keeping up with the latest health tips and trends.
As social media apps are becoming more and more consumed by health experts and nutritionists who are using it to awareness and encourage patients to engage in physical activity.
Elizabeth Watson, a personal trainer from Stay Fit gym in Abu Dhabi suggests that “individuals can use social media as a means of keeping fit, there are a lot of great exercises you can do and train from experts at home just by watching videos on YouTube”.
Norlyn Torrena, a clinical nutritionist from Burjeel Hospital advises her clients to be more technologically active “most of my clients are so engaged with their phones that I advise them to download applications that offer health related services”.
Torrena said that “most people believe that dieting and keeping fit is boring”.
However, by using social media apps keeping fit means that people are “modern and are kept up to date with the latest heath tips and trends”.
“It can be a guide to a healthy lifestyle and exercise if used in the correct way, so I really encourage my clients to download health applications” said Mrs Torrena.
People can also connect with each other and exchange “tips and notes, it’s extremely healthy and fun”.
Sun jukebox
Rufus Thomas, Bear Cat (The Answer to Hound Dog) (1953)
This rip-off of Leiber/Stoller’s early rock stomper brought a lawsuit against Phillips and necessitated Presley’s premature sale to RCA.
Elvis Presley, Mystery Train (1955)
The B-side of Presley’s final single for Sun bops with a drummer-less groove.
Johnny Cash and the Tennessee Two, Folsom Prison Blues (1955)
Originally recorded for Sun, Cash’s signature tune was performed for inmates of the titular prison 13 years later.
Carl Perkins, Blue Suede Shoes (1956)
Within a month of Sun’s February release Elvis had his version out on RCA.
Roy Orbison, Ooby Dooby (1956)
An essential piece of irreverent juvenilia from Orbison.
Jerry Lee Lewis, Great Balls of Fire (1957)
Lee’s trademark anthem is one of the era’s best-remembered – and best-selling – songs.
AT%20A%20GLANCE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EWindfall%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EAn%20%E2%80%9Cenergy%20profits%20levy%E2%80%9D%20to%20raise%20around%20%C2%A35bn%20in%20a%20year.%20The%20temporary%20one-off%20tax%20will%20hit%20oil%20and%20gas%20firms%20by%2025%20per%20cent%20on%20extraordinary%20profits.%20An%2080%20per%20cent%20investment%20allowance%20should%20calm%20Conservative%20nerves%20that%20the%20move%20will%20dent%20North%20Sea%20firms%E2%80%99%20investment%20to%20save%20them%2091p%20for%20every%20%C2%A31%20they%20spend.%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EA%20universal%20grant%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EEnergy%20bills%20discount%2C%20which%20was%20effectively%20a%20%C2%A3200%20loan%2C%20has%20doubled%20to%20a%20%C2%A3400%20discount%20on%20bills%20for%20all%20households%20from%20October%20that%20will%20not%20need%20to%20be%20paid%20back.%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETargeted%20measures%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EMore%20than%20eight%20million%20of%20the%20lowest%20income%20households%20will%20receive%20a%20%C2%A3650%20one-off%20payment.%20It%20will%20apply%20to%20households%20on%20Universal%20Credit%2C%20Tax%20Credits%2C%20Pension%20Credit%20and%20legacy%20benefits.%0D%3Cbr%3ESeparate%20one-off%20payments%20of%20%C2%A3300%20will%20go%20to%20pensioners%20and%20%C2%A3150%20for%20those%20receiving%20disability%20benefits.%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
North Pole stats
Distance covered: 160km
Temperature: -40°C
Weight of equipment: 45kg
Altitude (metres above sea level): 0
Terrain: Ice rock
South Pole stats
Distance covered: 130km
Temperature: -50°C
Weight of equipment: 50kg
Altitude (metres above sea level): 3,300
Terrain: Flat ice
The five pillars of Islam
1. Fasting
2. Prayer
3. Hajj
4. Shahada
5. Zakat
DAY%20ONE%20RESULT
%3Cp%3E%3Cbr%3E1.%20Charlotte%20Kool%20(NED)%20%E2%80%93%20Team%20DSM%3A%202hrs%2C%2047min%2C%2014sec%3Cbr%3E2.%20Lorena%20Wiebes%20(NED)%20%E2%80%93%20Team%20SD%20Worx%3A%20%2B4%20secs%3Cbr%3E3.%20Chiara%20Consonni%20(ITA)%20%E2%80%93%20UAE%20Team%20ADQ%3A%20%2B5%20secs%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
NO OTHER LAND
Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal
Stars: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham
Rating: 3.5/5
Meydan race card
6pm Dubai Trophy – Conditions(TB) $100,000 (Turf) 1,200m
6.35Dubai Trophy – Conditions(TB) $100,000 (Turf) 1,200m
1,800m
7.10pm Jumeirah Derby Trial – Conditions (TB) $60,000 (T)
1,800m ,400m
7.45pm Al Rashidiya – Group 2 (TB) $180,000 (T) 1,800m
8.20pm Al Fahidi Fort – Group 2 (TB) $180,000 (T) 1,400m
8.55pm Dubawi Stakes – Group 3 (TB) $150,000 (D) 1,200m
9.30pm Aliyah – Rated Conditions (TB) $80,000 (D) 2,000m
RESULTS
%3Cp%3E%0D%3Cstrong%3E6pm%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Marfa%20Deira%20%E2%80%93%20Conditions%20(PA)%20Dh80%2C000%20(Dirt)%201%2C200m%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EWinner%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Wadheha%2C%20Bernardo%20Pinheiro%20(jockey)%2C%20Majed%20Al%20Jahouri%20(trainer)%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3E6.35pm%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDubai%20Creek%20%E2%80%93%20Maiden%20(TB)%20Dh82%2C500%20(D)%201%2C400m%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EWinner%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EBarq%20Al%20Emarat%2C%20Bernardo%20Pinheiro%2C%20Ismail%20Mohammed%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3E7.10pm%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EMina%20Hamriya%20%E2%80%93%20Handicap%20(TB)%20Dh95%2C000%20(D)%201%2C600m%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EWinner%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Tahdeed%2C%20Dane%20O%E2%80%99Neill%2C%20Michael%20Costa%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3E7.45pm%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Mina%20Rashid%20%E2%80%93%20Maiden%20(TB)%20Dh82%2C500%20(D)%201%2C900m%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EWinner%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESeyaasi%2C%20Xavier%20Ziani%2C%20Salem%20bin%20Ghadayer%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3E8.20pm%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EAl%20Garhoud%20Sprint%20DP%20World%20%E2%80%93%20Listed%20(TB)%20Dh132%2C500%20(D)%201%2C200m%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EWinner%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Mouheeb%2C%20Ray%20Dawson%2C%20Michael%20Costa%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3E8.55pm%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Mirdiff%20Stakes%20Jebel%20Ali%20Port%20%E2%80%93%20Conditions%20(TB)%20Dh120%2C000%20(D)%201%2C400m%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EWinner%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Seyouff%2C%20Antonio%20Fresu%2C%20Michael%20Costa%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3E9.30pm%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Jebel%20Ali%20Free%20Zone%20%E2%80%93%20Handicap%20(TB)%20Dh95%2C000%20(D)%202%2C000m%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EWinner%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EAjuste%20Fiscal%2C%20Jose%20da%20Silva%2C%20Julio%20Olascoaga%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
OPINIONS ON PALESTINE & ISRAEL
Honeymoonish
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Elie%20El%20Samaan%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarring%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENour%20Al%20Ghandour%2C%20Mahmoud%20Boushahri%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%203%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A