Ask yourself who you are. Hold that thought for a good long while and then ask what it is that you want your children to be and what you are willing to do to help them to achieve that.
Woody Allen once said: "Eighty per cent of life is just showing up." Much of being a parent is just showing up and being there for them, when they need you and even when they don't.
Over the years I have counselled many parents about how to raise their children. One recurring issue is time. How much to devote and how? Many fathers have told me they do not have enough time to spend with their children so they try for "quality time". That is good as far as it goes, but it is an excuse and a mistake. Quality time with children is nice. A visit to the Wild Wadi, a desert safari, a good movie, going to see a football match - all good. Time together doing interesting things.
But the truth is that children do not want "quality" time. They just want time. Lots of it.
In this multicultural and globalised world, parents must work harder than ever to build strong and affirming relationships with their children. There are too many distractions, for children and also for fathers and mothers. Being together with your children is very important and requires your conscientious effort.
Most fathers do not understand what fathers are for. They think that fathers exist to provide economic support and a moral example for the family. That is only part of it, and not the most important part.
Fathers are leaders, guides, friends and symbols. But they can't be anything if they are not there. Boys do not learn what it means to be a man from a computer game, but from watching and interacting with their fathers, uncles and grandfathers. Girls learn to admire and trust males by being able to admire, trust and love their fathers.
The average number of minutes a father spends talking to his children is seven per day. You cannot shape and form your children in seven minutes a day. A father should spend at least an hour each day with his children, not only talking but just being there.
Many mothers do not understand their role either. Children learn about love, caring and trust from their mothers. They learn to care and share from their mother's attention, caresses and caring.
Mothers who do things for and with their children form young people who will have a stronger sense of identity and a stronger bond with their families, and subsequently with others. For example, a young girl will find it hard to be a good friend with a classmate if she did not have some "good friend" relations with her mother.
Acting as a guide and formative leader is important, yet the amount of time mothers spend talking to their children is only a little more than fathers, eleven minutes a day. Not much. In too many families, the person who helps children dress, makes sure they wash their hands, serves them dinner and even gets them into their pyjamas and into bed is not the mother or the father, but the nanny.
Is it any wonder that teenagers spend time talking to strangers over the internet if they can't get their own parents to talk to them?
Many parents try to substitute things for time. They buy clothes, toys, games and gadgets for their children. But if you think about your own childhood, what you remember are not things but moments: moments spent talking with your parents, your grandparents, your siblings and your closest friends. Toys and clothes do not replace contact and time spent together.
Watching TV four or five hours a day does not replace time with a parent. Watching with a parent, however, allows for making comments on the programmes that can have positive effects in the development of a child's judgement of right, wrong, good, bad and mediocre.
The distractions are many: work, social life, friends, internet and the inevitable Facebook. But your children need time with you. Lots of it. Give it to them for your sake and theirs.
Dr Clifton Chadwick is a senior lecturer in the faculty of education, British University of Dubai
INDIA%20SQUAD
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KILLING OF QASSEM SULEIMANI
SCHEDULE FOR SHOW COURTS
Centre Court - from 4pm (UAE time)
Angelique Kerber (1) v Irina Falconi
Martin Klizan v Novak Djokovic (2)
Alexandr Dolgopolov v Roger Federer (3)
Court One - from 4pm
Milos Raonic (6) v Jan-Lennard Struff
Karolina Pliskova (3) v Evgeniya Rodina
Dominic Thiem (8) v Vasek Pospisil
Court Two - from 2.30pm
Juan Martin Del Potro (29) v Thanasi Kokkinakis
Agnieszka Radwanska (9) v Jelena Jankovic
Jeremy Chardy v Tomas Berdych (11)
Ons Jabeur v Svetlana Kuznetsova (7)
Read more about the coronavirus
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Living in...
This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.
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Bullet%20Train
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Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
RESULT
Al Hilal 4 Persepolis 0
Khribin (31', 54', 89'), Al Shahrani 40'
Red card: Otayf (Al Hilal, 49')
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
A State of Passion
Directors: Carol Mansour and Muna Khalidi
Stars: Dr Ghassan Abu-Sittah
Rating: 4/5
The%C2%A0specs%20
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Essentials
The flights
Emirates and Etihad fly direct from the UAE to Los Angeles, from Dh4,975 return, including taxes. The flight time is 16 hours. Alaska Airlines, United Airlines, Delta Air Lines, Aeromexico and Southwest all fly direct from Los Angeles to San Jose del Cabo from Dh1,243 return, including taxes. The flight time is two-and-a-half hours.
The trip
Lindblad Expeditions National Geographic’s eight-day Whales Wilderness itinerary costs from US$6,190 (Dh22,736) per person, twin share, including meals, accommodation and excursions, with departures in March and April 2018.
MORE ON TURKEY'S SYRIA OFFENCE
ZAYED SUSTAINABILITY PRIZE
SPEC%20SHEET%3A%20SAMSUNG%20GALAXY%20S23%20ULTRA
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ACL Elite (West) - fixtures
Monday, Sept 30
Al Sadd v Esteghlal (8pm)
Persepolis v Pakhtakor (8pm)
Al Wasl v Al Ahli (8pm)
Al Nassr v Al Rayyan (10pm)
Tuesday, Oct 1
Al Hilal v Al Shorta (10pm)
Al Gharafa v Al Ain (10pm)
Country-size land deals
US interest in purchasing territory is not as outlandish as it sounds. Here's a look at some big land transactions between nations:
Louisiana Purchase
If Donald Trump is one who aims to broker "a deal of the century", then this was the "deal of the 19th Century". In 1803, the US nearly doubled in size when it bought 2,140,000 square kilometres from France for $15 million.
Florida Purchase Treaty
The US courted Spain for Florida for years. Spain eventually realised its burden in holding on to the territory and in 1819 effectively ceded it to America in a wider border treaty.
Alaska purchase
America's spending spree continued in 1867 when it acquired 1,518,800 km2 of Alaskan land from Russia for $7.2m. Critics panned the government for buying "useless land".
The Philippines
At the end of the Spanish-American War, a provision in the 1898 Treaty of Paris saw Spain surrender the Philippines for a payment of $20 million.
US Virgin Islands
It's not like a US president has never reached a deal with Denmark before. In 1917 the US purchased the Danish West Indies for $25m and renamed them the US Virgin Islands.
Gwadar
The most recent sovereign land purchase was in 1958 when Pakistan bought the southwestern port of Gwadar from Oman for 5.5bn Pakistan rupees.
The bio
Studied up to grade 12 in Vatanappally, a village in India’s southern Thrissur district
Was a middle distance state athletics champion in school
Enjoys driving to Fujairah and Ras Al Khaimah with family
His dream is to continue working as a social worker and help people
Has seven diaries in which he has jotted down notes about his work and money he earned
Keeps the diaries in his car to remember his journey in the Emirates
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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The Greatest Royal Rumble card as it stands
The Greatest Royal Rumble card as it stands
50-man Royal Rumble - names entered so far include Braun Strowman, Daniel Bryan, Kurt Angle, Big Show, Kane, Chris Jericho, The New Day and Elias
Universal Championship Brock Lesnar (champion) v Roman Reigns in a steel cage match
WWE World Heavyweight ChampionshipAJ Styles (champion) v Shinsuke Nakamura
Intercontinental Championship Seth Rollins (champion) v The Miz v Finn Balor v Samoa Joe
United States Championship Jeff Hardy (champion) v Jinder Mahal
SmackDown Tag Team Championship The Bludgeon Brothers (champions) v The Usos
Raw Tag Team Championship (currently vacant) Cesaro and Sheamus v Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt
Casket match The Undertaker v Chris Jericho
Singles match John Cena v Triple H
Cruiserweight Championship Cedric Alexander v tba
Gran Gala del Calcio 2019 winners
Best Player: Cristiano Ronaldo (Juventus)
Best Coach: Gian Piero Gasperini (Atalanta)
Best Referee: Gianluca Rocchi
Best Goal: Fabio Quagliarella (Sampdoria vs Napoli)
Best Team: Atalanta
Best XI: Samir Handanovic (Inter); Aleksandar Kolarov (Roma), Giorgio Chiellini (Juventus), Kalidou Koulibaly (Napoli), Joao Cancelo (Juventus*); Miralem Pjanic (Juventus), Josip Ilicic (Atalanta), Nicolo Barella (Cagliari*); Fabio Quagliarella (Sampdoria), Cristiano Ronaldo (Juventus), Duvan Zapata (Atalanta)
Serie B Best Young Player: Sandro Tonali (Brescia)
Best Women’s Goal: Thaisa (Milan vs Juventus)
Best Women’s Player: Manuela Giugliano (Milan)
Best Women’s XI: Laura Giuliani (Milan); Alia Guagni (Fiorentina), Sara Gama (Juventus), Cecilia Salvai (Juventus), Elisa Bartoli (Roma); Aurora Galli (Juventus), Manuela Giugliano (Roma), Valentina Cernoia (Juventus); Valentina Giacinti (Milan), Ilaria Mauro (Fiorentina), Barbara Bonansea (Juventus)
SERIES INFO
Cricket World Cup League Two
Nepal, Oman, United States tri-series
Tribhuvan University, Kathmandu
Fixtures
Wednesday February 5, Oman v Nepal
Thursday, February 6, Oman v United States
Saturday, February 8, United States v Nepal
Sunday, February 9, Oman v Nepal
Tuesday, February 11, Oman v United States
Wednesday, February 12, United States v Nepal
Table
The top three sides advance to the 2022 World Cup Qualifier.
The bottom four sides are relegated to the 2022 World Cup playoff
1 United States 8 6 2 0 0 12 0.412
2 Scotland 8 4 3 0 1 9 0.139
3 Namibia 7 4 3 0 0 8 0.008
4 Oman 6 4 2 0 0 8 -0.139
5 UAE 7 3 3 0 1 7 -0.004
6 Nepal 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 PNG 8 0 8 0 0 0 -0.458
The biog
From: Upper Egypt
Age: 78
Family: a daughter in Egypt; a son in Dubai and his wife, Nabila
Favourite Abu Dhabi activity: walking near to Emirates Palace
Favourite building in Abu Dhabi: Emirates Palace
