Some parents may begin to view their choices as being superior to those of others and become judgemental. Getty
Some parents may begin to view their choices as being superior to those of others and become judgemental. Getty
Some parents may begin to view their choices as being superior to those of others and become judgemental. Getty
Some parents may begin to view their choices as being superior to those of others and become judgemental. Getty

My child, my rules: how to deal with other judgemental parents


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  • Arabic

A popular member of the “mums group” I’m part of once whispered in my ear that my one-year-old son was “a bit too thin”. I almost choked on a French fry before the anxiety kicked in. My son had been weighed plenty of times by his doctor and there were no problems until this “friend” put it in my head that there may be.

Another mum liked to congratulate the rest in our group loudly when our children hit any of their milestones, as if she were monitoring every step. "Is he talking yet?" she would often ask of my 16-month-old who, as she repeatedly told me, had walked early at 10 months.

I've been criticised for moaning that my son is overactive or wakes up too early

The same mum hinted, by private message on WhatsApp, that the medication she was on might help me through the pandemic blues. Parading herself as everyone's BFF, this mother of four assumed the role of group matriarch; an aspirational earth mother who baked cakes all the while generously doling out advice to the rest of us bumbling parentals, warranted or not.
More recently, a friend advised I should not be offering my children snacks between meals. This nugget of parenting widsom was dropped after my four-year-old picked at his dinner, while her two much older boys cleared their plates.

Then there was the over-friendly colleague who asked if my unborn baby was alright when I was pregnant, as my bump was “so tiny … are you sure he’s OK in there?” I can still see her brazen, questioning face. I was aghast.

I've been a full-time working mum and in the past year, a stay-at-home mum. I have borne the brunt of critical and sympathetic looks from other mothers because given the choice, I would prefer to work and further my career; a career I have invested 20 years in.

Try to differentiate between constructive and negative criticism and the intent behind it; why does this particular person think the way that they do?

I believe it's healthier for my sons to see mum going to work (or working from home) and not only dad; it gives them a more balanced view of the world. I realise I'm lucky to be at home with my two beautiful boys, but at the same time, the past year has been tough. I know for a fact that I've been criticised behind my back for moaning that my son is overactive or wakes up too early.

This gossip-fuelled demeanour can lead to feelings of paranoia and anxiety for the parent caught in the spotlight. I have read about passive-aggressive mothers on parenting blogs and even binge-watched relatable, often hilarious shows about motherhood, such as The Let Down, Workin' Mums, but naively, I was no less shocked to field judgmental comments. All parents are navigating one of the most relentless, unpaid jobs in the world, so why are some mothers so harshly critical of each other?

Dr Rebecca Steingiesser, clinical psychologist at The LightHouse Arabia Centre for Well-being, says parental judgment often stems from insecurities about a person's own choices as a mum.

"Parents feel undue pressure to 'get it right' because [they believe] there is no room for failure. Some may begin to view their choices as being superior to those of other parents and become judgmental. Sometimes this can be done subtly and quietly, while at other times this can be obvious and expressed as a form of attack and humiliation."

Parents also often forget they are all in the same boat and tend to focus more on their differences, says Dr Laila Adel Mahmoud Mohamadien, specialist psychiatrist at Medcare Hospital Sharjah.

"First, we have to know that we are parents; not gods or superheroes. We are not exempt from making mistakes or sometimes making the wrong judgment. We are human."

Steingiesser outlines five ways in which mothers who are feeling judged can deal with perceived criticism.

Five ways to deal with criticism as a mother

  1. Surround yourself with supportive people In a sea of people who judge and criticise, there are those who support, nurture and encourage, too. Keeping them close is important to remind yourself that you are not alone.
  2. Build resilience Hold on to the positives, build strength from them and use this strength to distance yourself from negativity. Try to differentiate between constructive and negative criticism and the intent behind it; why does this particular person think the way that they do?
  3. Practise self-compassion Be kind to yourself. Remember that no one is perfect and you are doing your best.
  4. Understand your sensitivities There may be particular things related to parenting that you are sensitive about. Try to understand and acknowledge these sensitivities and your reactions if they are triggered.
  5. Adopt an attitude of mindfulness Remember how it feels to be judged for your parenting choices and be conscious of not doing the same; this promotes acceptance of self and others.
FIXTURES

All kick-off times UAE ( 4 GMT)
Brackets denote aggregate score

Tuesday:
Roma (1) v Shakhtar Donetsk (2), 11.45pm
Manchester United (0) v Sevilla (0), 11.45pm

Wednesday:
Besiktas (0) v Bayern Munich (5), 9pm
Barcelona (1) v Chelsea (1), 11.45pm

EA%20Sports%20FC%2024
%3Cp%3EDeveloper%3A%20EA%20Vancouver%2C%20EA%20Romania%3Cbr%3EPublisher%3A%20EA%20Sports%3Cbr%3EConsoles%3A%20Nintendo%20Switch%2C%20PlayStation%204%26amp%3B5%2C%20PC%20and%20Xbox%20One%3Cbr%3ERating%3A%203.5%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Results

5.30pm: Maiden (TB) Dh82,500 (Turf) 1,400m; Winner: Mcmanaman, Sam Hitchcock (jockey), Doug Watson (trainer)

6.05pm: Handicap (TB) Dh87,500 (T) 1,400m; Winner: Bawaasil, Sam Hitchcott, Doug Watson

6.40pm: Handicap (TB) Dh105,000 (Dirt) 1,400m; Winner: Bochart, Fabrice Veron, Satish Seemar

7.15pm: Handicap (TB) Dh105,000 (T) 1,200m; Winner: Mutaraffa, Antonio Fresu, Musabah Al Muhairi

7.50pm: Longines Stakes – Conditions (TB) Dh120,00 (D) 1,900m; Winner: Rare Ninja, Royston Ffrench, Salem bin Ghadayer

8.25pm: Zabeel Trophy – Rated Conditions (TB) Dh120,000 (T) 1,600m; Winner: Alfareeq, Antonio Fresu, Musabah Al Muhairi

9pm: Handicap (TB) Dh105,000 (T) 2,410m; Winner: Good Tidings, Antonio Fresu, Musabah Al Muhairi

9.35pm: Handicap (TB) Dh92,500 (T) 2,000m; Winner: Zorion, Abdul Aziz Al Balushi, Helal Al Alawi

 

Globalization and its Discontents Revisited
Joseph E. Stiglitz
W. W. Norton & Company

The specs

Engine: 4.0-litre V8 twin-turbocharged and three electric motors

Power: Combined output 920hp

Torque: 730Nm at 4,000-7,000rpm

Transmission: 8-speed dual-clutch automatic

Fuel consumption: 11.2L/100km

On sale: Now, deliveries expected later in 2025

Price: expected to start at Dh1,432,000

Dhadak 2

Director: Shazia Iqbal

Starring: Siddhant Chaturvedi, Triptii Dimri 

Rating: 1/5

The specs
 
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
Sweet%20Tooth
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECreator%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EJim%20Mickle%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarring%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EChristian%20Convery%2C%20Nonso%20Anozie%2C%20Adeel%20Akhtar%2C%20Stefania%20LaVie%20Owen%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2.5%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The specs

Engine: 6.2-litre V8

Power: 502hp at 7,600rpm

Torque: 637Nm at 5,150rpm

Transmission: 8-speed dual-clutch auto

Price: from Dh317,671

On sale: now

What the law says

Micro-retirement is not a recognised concept or employment status under Federal Decree Law No. 33 of 2021 on the Regulation of Labour Relations (as amended) (UAE Labour Law). As such, it reflects a voluntary work-life balance practice, rather than a recognised legal employment category, according to Dilini Loku, senior associate for law firm Gateley Middle East.

“Some companies may offer formal sabbatical policies or career break programmes; however, beyond such arrangements, there is no automatic right or statutory entitlement to extended breaks,” she explains.

“Any leave taken beyond statutory entitlements, such as annual leave, is typically regarded as unpaid leave in accordance with Article 33 of the UAE Labour Law. While employees may legally take unpaid leave, such requests are subject to the employer’s discretion and require approval.”

If an employee resigns to pursue micro-retirement, the employment contract is terminated, and the employer is under no legal obligation to rehire the employee in the future unless specific contractual agreements are in place (such as return-to-work arrangements), which are generally uncommon, Ms Loku adds.

Red flags
  • Promises of high, fixed or 'guaranteed' returns.
  • Unregulated structured products or complex investments often used to bypass traditional safeguards.
  • Lack of clear information, vague language, no access to audited financials.
  • Overseas companies targeting investors in other jurisdictions - this can make legal recovery difficult.
  • Hard-selling tactics - creating urgency, offering 'exclusive' deals.

Courtesy: Carol Glynn, founder of Conscious Finance Coaching

Chef Nobu's advice for eating sushi

“One mistake people always make is adding extra wasabi. There is no need for this, because it should already be there between the rice and the fish.
“When eating nigiri, you must dip the fish – not the rice – in soy sauce, otherwise the rice will collapse. Also, don’t use too much soy sauce or it will make you thirsty. For sushi rolls, dip a little of the rice-covered roll lightly in soy sauce and eat in one bite.
“Chopsticks are acceptable, but really, I recommend using your fingers for sushi. Do use chopsticks for sashimi, though.
“The ginger should be eaten separately as a palette cleanser and used to clear the mouth when switching between different pieces of fish.”

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%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDeveloper%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20SCE%20Studio%20Cambridge%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPublisher%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Sony%20Computer%20Entertainment%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EConsole%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20PlayStation%2C%20PlayStation%204%20and%205%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%203.5%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Specs

Engine: Duel electric motors
Power: 659hp
Torque: 1075Nm
On sale: Available for pre-order now
Price: On request

if you go

The flights

Etihad and Emirates fly direct from the UAE to Seoul from Dh3,775 return, including taxes

The package

Ski Safari offers a seven-night ski package to Korea, including five nights at the Dragon Valley Hotel in Yongpyong and two nights at Seoul CenterMark hotel, from £720 (Dh3,488) per person, including transfers, based on two travelling in January

The info

Visit www.gokorea.co.uk

GAC GS8 Specs

Engine: 2.0-litre 4cyl turbo

Power: 248hp at 5,200rpm

Torque: 400Nm at 1,750-4,000rpm

Transmission: 8-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 9.1L/100km

On sale: Now

Price: From Dh149,900

Fifa%20World%20Cup%20Qatar%202022%20
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EFirst%20match%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENovember%2020%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFinal%2016%20round%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDecember%203%20to%206%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EQuarter-finals%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDecember%209%20and%2010%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESemi-finals%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDecember%2013%20and%2014%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFinal%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDecember%2018%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
BMW M5 specs

Engine: 4.4-litre twin-turbo V-8 petrol enging with additional electric motor

Power: 727hp

Torque: 1,000Nm

Transmission: 8-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 10.6L/100km

On sale: Now

Price: From Dh650,000

Sugary teas and iced coffees

The tax authority is yet to release a list of the taxed products, but it appears likely that sugary iced teas and cold coffees will be hit.

For instance, the non-fizzy drink AriZona Iced Tea contains 65 grams of sugar – about 16 teaspoons – per 680ml can. The average can costs about Dh6, which would rise to Dh9.

Cold coffee brands are likely to be hit too. Drinks such as Starbucks Bottled Mocha Frappuccino contain 31g of sugar in 270ml, while Nescafe Mocha in a can contains 15.6g of sugar in a 240ml can.

COMPANY%20PROFILE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EName%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EQureos%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EUAE%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ELaunch%20year%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2021%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20employees%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E33%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESoftware%20and%20technology%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunding%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%243%20million%0D%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
THE BIO

Bio Box

Role Model: Sheikh Zayed, God bless his soul

Favorite book: Zayed Biography of the leader

Favorite quote: To be or not to be, that is the question, from William Shakespeare's Hamlet

Favorite food: seafood

Favorite place to travel: Lebanon

Favorite movie: Braveheart

In numbers: China in Dubai

The number of Chinese people living in Dubai: An estimated 200,000

Number of Chinese people in International City: Almost 50,000

Daily visitors to Dragon Mart in 2018/19: 120,000

Daily visitors to Dragon Mart in 2010: 20,000

Percentage increase in visitors in eight years: 500 per cent

Benefits of first-time home buyers' scheme
  • Priority access to new homes from participating developers
  • Discounts on sales price of off-plan units
  • Flexible payment plans from developers
  • Mortgages with better interest rates, faster approval times and reduced fees
  • DLD registration fee can be paid through banks or credit cards at zero interest rates
The specs: 2018 Jaguar E-Pace First Edition

Price, base / as tested: Dh186,480 / Dh252,735

Engine: 2.0-litre four-cylinder

Power: 246hp @ 5,500rpm

Torque: 365Nm @ 1,200rpm

Transmission: Nine-speed automatic

Fuel consumption, combined: 7.7L / 100km

UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Jetour T1 specs

Engine: 2-litre turbocharged

Power: 254hp

Torque: 390Nm

Price: From Dh126,000

Available: Now

The specs

Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cylinder turbo

Power: 240hp at 5,500rpm

Torque: 390Nm at 3,000rpm

Transmission: eight-speed auto

Price: from Dh122,745

On sale: now

Company profile

Date started: 2015

Founder: John Tsioris and Ioanna Angelidaki

Based: Dubai

Sector: Online grocery delivery

Staff: 200

Funding: Undisclosed, but investors include the Jabbar Internet Group and Venture Friends

BIGGEST CYBER SECURITY INCIDENTS IN RECENT TIMES

SolarWinds supply chain attack: Came to light in December 2020 but had taken root for several months, compromising major tech companies, governments and its entities

Microsoft Exchange server exploitation: March 2021; attackers used a vulnerability to steal emails

Kaseya attack: July 2021; ransomware hit perpetrated REvil, resulting in severe downtime for more than 1,000 companies

Log4j breach: December 2021; attackers exploited the Java-written code to inflitrate businesses and governments

8 traditional Jamaican dishes to try at Kingston 21

  1. Trench Town Rock: Jamaican-style curry goat served in a pastry basket with a carrot and potato garnish
  2. Rock Steady Jerk Chicken: chicken marinated for 24 hours and slow-cooked on the grill
  3. Mento Oxtail: flavoured oxtail stewed for five hours with herbs
  4. Ackee and salt fish: the national dish of Jamaica makes for a hearty breakfast
  5. Jamaican porridge: another breakfast favourite, can be made with peanut, cornmeal, banana and plantain
  6. Jamaican beef patty: a pastry with ground beef filling
  7. Hellshire Pon di Beach: Fresh fish with pickles
  8. Out of Many: traditional sweet potato pudding
Specs

Engine: 51.5kW electric motor

Range: 400km

Power: 134bhp

Torque: 175Nm

Price: From Dh98,800

Available: Now

The White Lotus: Season three

Creator: Mike White

Starring: Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Natasha Rothwell

Rating: 4.5/5

Oppenheimer
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EChristopher%20Nolan%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ECillian%20Murphy%2C%20Emily%20Blunt%2C%20Robert%20Downey%20Jr%2C%20Florence%20Pugh%2C%20Matt%20Damon%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E5%2F5%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Know before you go
  • Jebel Akhdar is a two-hour drive from Muscat airport or a six-hour drive from Dubai. It’s impossible to visit by car unless you have a 4x4. Phone ahead to the hotel to arrange a transfer.
  • If you’re driving, make sure your insurance covers Oman.
  • By air: Budget airlines Air Arabia, Flydubai and SalamAir offer direct routes to Muscat from the UAE.
  • Tourists from the Emirates (UAE nationals not included) must apply for an Omani visa online before arrival at evisa.rop.gov.om. The process typically takes several days.
  • Flash floods are probable due to the terrain and a lack of drainage. Always check the weather before venturing into any canyons or other remote areas and identify a plan of escape that includes high ground, shelter and parking where your car won’t be overtaken by sudden downpours.

 

The Prison Letters of Nelson Mandela
Edited by Sahm Venter
Published by Liveright

The specs

Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder MHEV

Power: 360bhp

Torque: 500Nm

Transmission: eight-speed automatic

Price: from Dh282,870

On sale: now

The BIO:

He became the first Emirati to climb Mount Everest in 2011, from the south section in Nepal

He ascended Mount Everest the next year from the more treacherous north Tibetan side

By 2015, he had completed the Explorers Grand Slam

Last year, he conquered K2, the world’s second-highest mountain located on the Pakistan-Chinese border

He carries dried camel meat, dried dates and a wheat mixture for the final summit push

His new goal is to climb 14 peaks that are more than 8,000 metres above sea level

Representing%20UAE%20overseas
%3Cp%3E%0DIf%20Catherine%20Richards%20debuts%20for%20Wales%20in%20the%20Six%20Nations%2C%20she%20will%20be%20the%20latest%20to%20have%20made%20it%20from%20the%20UAE%20to%20the%20top%20tier%20of%20the%20international%20game%20in%20the%20oval%20ball%20codes.%0D%3Cbr%3E%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESeren%20Gough-Walters%20(Wales%20rugby%20league)%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EBorn%20in%20Dubai%2C%20raised%20in%20Sharjah%2C%20and%20once%20an%20immigration%20officer%20at%20the%20British%20Embassy%20in%20Abu%20Dhabi%2C%20she%20debuted%20for%20Wales%20in%20rugby%20league%20in%202021.%0D%3Cbr%3E%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESophie%20Shams%20(England%20sevens)%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EWith%20an%20Emirati%20father%20and%20English%20mother%2C%20Shams%20excelled%20at%20rugby%20at%20school%20in%20Dubai%2C%20and%20went%20on%20to%20represent%20England%20on%20the%20sevens%20circuit.%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFiona%20Reidy%20(Ireland)%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EMade%20her%20Test%20rugby%20bow%20for%20Ireland%20against%20England%20in%202015%2C%20having%20played%20for%20four%20years%20in%20the%20capital%20with%20Abu%20Dhabi%20Harlequins%20previously.%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
TEST SQUADS

Bangladesh: Mushfiqur Rahim (captain), Tamim Iqbal, Soumya Sarkar, Imrul Kayes, Liton Das, Shakib Al Hasan, Mominul Haque, Nasir Hossain, Sabbir Rahman, Mehedi Hasan, Shafiul Islam, Taijul Islam, Mustafizur Rahman and Taskin Ahmed.

Australia: Steve Smith (captain), David Warner, Ashton Agar, Hilton Cartwright, Pat Cummins, Peter Handscomb, Matthew Wade, Josh Hazlewood, Usman Khawaja, Nathan Lyon, Glenn Maxwell, Matt Renshaw, Mitchell Swepson and Jackson Bird.