The playwright Alan Bennett is convinced that Jackie Kennedy and the British comedian Peter Cook had a fling in the early 1960s, which some people might find surprising.
What would the beautiful and fascinating wife of the US president, one half of the most famous political couple in the world, see in the gawky funnyman?
Leaving aside the fact that Jackie O, as she came to be known after her subsequent marriage to Aristotle Onassis, must have been aware that her husband, JFK, was a serial philanderer and she was said to have had a relationship with his brother Bobby and with the movie star Marlon Brando, there is a compelling attraction about a man who can make a woman laugh.
Jackie and the president met Cook backstage when he, Dudley Moore, Jonathan Miller and Bennett brought their brilliantly successful show Beyond the Fringe to Broadway. Bennett says she and Cook hit it off immediately and there were rumours that they became close. "I may be libelling her, but I think Peter had an affair with Jackie Kennedy," Bennett told the interviewer Mark Lawson on a BBC4 programme to mark the playwright's 75th birthday this year. "I have an image of her standing next to Peter stroking his arm in the dressing room, and he certainly went to parties with her."
Why wouldn't she find him attractive, surrounded as she was by tight-lipped and formal government aides.
Cook's particular brand of laid-back cynical humour must have been such a refreshing change for a woman who had a well-developed and earthy sense of humour by all accounts.
There is nothing as exhilarating and relaxing as a genuine belly laugh. The combination of quick-witted humour and that particular brand of cool but reckless disrespect for authority of which Cook was a master must have been both shocking and dazzling, even to a president's wife.
I once interviewed the equally brilliant Mel Brooks, who would admit he wasn't blessed in the looks department, and managed to ask him, amid gales of laughter, how an ugly so-and-so like him managed to attract the beautiful and clever actress Anne Bancroft, whom he married.
He burst out laughing and said he made her laugh.
The company of professional comedians can be irresistible. No matter how tortured their private lives turn out to be, they just can't help trying to make people laugh and it's a heady feeling knowing that they are focusing on you and you alone and won't stop until the tears of laughter are rolling down your face.
Faced with the choice of a less than handsome funny guy and a humourless hunk, most women would go for the former and I doubt if Jackie Kennedy Onassis was an exception.
Nothing could persuade me to eat a rat, not even a tasty risotto whipped up by a celebrity chef. Gino D'Acampo and the reality show contestant Stuart Manning must have been starving to do so during ITV's I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.
Now criminal charges have been brought by the Australian RSPCA and they will have to face a court in February for killing a rat for entertainment.
Frankly, I think they should be given a medal and if charges are really to be brought, the show's organisers should be in the dock, not the contestants. Hunger would be a fairly reasonable defence, I'd say, if the case ever sees the light of day.
Personally, I smell a rat. It's great publicity for the Australian RSPCA and you wonder if they seriously believe they could get a conviction in a country not famed for being precious about rodents. Crocodile Dundee would be laughing his socks off.
After more than a year of recession, it is hard to swallow the news that many top banks plan to give their key staff fat Christmas bonuses. Only last week there were reports that the board of RBS would quit if they were stopped from rewarding their staff to the tune of £1.5 billion (Dh9b).
Not even the UK chancellor's plan to tax these windfalls will be enough to calm the fury of people who are still struggling to make ends meet as they see the people they hold responsible for the financial mess cashing in.
It's hardly surprising that there are reports of people hoarding cash rather than entrusting it to banks. Bosses insist they have to dole out bonuses in order to keep their best people. Joe Public believes they should be in jail.
The X Factor judge and footballer's wife Cheryl Cole has finally had the good grace to get rid of her hair extensions. She came in for a heap of criticism for the lustrous locks that tumble around her shoulders in the new L'Oreal ad campaign, which the company defended by saying the false hair had been washed in their shampoo. She looks just as good without them.
At the time of writing, the Tiger Woods birdie count has reached eight and by the time this goes to press, several more "transgressions" may well have crawled out of the woodwork to simper for the cameras.
And no, I don't feel sorry for the man who really should have been called Cheetah rather than Tiger.
The question now is should his wife, Elin, divorce him or allow herself to be bribed into staying in the marriage for a reported $60 million (Dh220m). The PR experts believe that keeping up appearances of a family man is essential for the sake of the Woods brand, on which an entire industry has been founded.
Jobs depend on it and although the clean-cut image is in shreds, they believe that with a carefully crafted campaign, Woods's earning power will not be damaged in the long run. The success of brands such as Nike depends on the skill of sporting personalities rather than their private lives, and, regardless of Woods' indiscretions, plenty of golfers will carry on buying their clothes and equipment in the hope that some of those gifts will rub off on them.
Staying together for the sake of their two young children will always be an option to be considered even after such an incredibly public humiliation, but how could any woman plaster a smile on her face and pretend that all is well given the circumstances.
Woods is going to have to wear sackcloth and ashes for a very long time to persuade Elin to stay, but nobody will ever believe the marriage to be anything other than a business arrangement if she does. Emotionally it is doomed, over, completely and utterly wrecked.
How the most famous sportsman in the world could ever have expected to get away with his infidelities is difficult to understand. His management and close friends have clearly known about it for years, but when you are surrounded by sycophants, you end up believing you are fireproof. No wonder Woods became arrogant and careless.
Elin should cut him loose as quickly and finally as she can and set about starting a new life without him with as much dignity as she can muster. At 29, she has plenty of time to find someone else to love, and a financial settlement would ease the pain.
Just as a footnote, the shaving cream manufacturer Gillette must be wondering what hit it, having lined up three supposedly clean-cut sporting heroes for their advertising campaigns. First there was Thierry Henry and the handball scandal, then came Woods and his women. The company must be watching Roger Federer with a certain amount of apprehension.
UAE%20medallists%20at%20Asian%20Games%202023
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The National's picks
4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
9.30pm: Forever Young
SPECS
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Disclaimer
Director: Alfonso Cuaron
Stars: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Kline, Lesley Manville
Rating: 4/5
In numbers: PKK’s money network in Europe
Germany: PKK collectors typically bring in $18 million in cash a year – amount has trebled since 2010
Revolutionary tax: Investigators say about $2 million a year raised from ‘tax collection’ around Marseille
Extortion: Gunman convicted in 2023 of demanding $10,000 from Kurdish businessman in Stockholm
Drug trade: PKK income claimed by Turkish anti-drugs force in 2024 to be as high as $500 million a year
Denmark: PKK one of two terrorist groups along with Iranian separatists ASMLA to raise “two-digit million amounts”
Contributions: Hundreds of euros expected from typical Kurdish families and thousands from business owners
TV channel: Kurdish Roj TV accounts frozen and went bankrupt after Denmark fined it more than $1 million over PKK links in 2013
Company Profile:
Name: The Protein Bakeshop
Date of start: 2013
Founders: Rashi Chowdhary and Saad Umerani
Based: Dubai
Size, number of employees: 12
Funding/investors: $400,000 (2018)
Recipe
Garlicky shrimp in olive oil
Gambas Al Ajillo
Preparation time: 5 to 10 minutes
Cooking time: 5 minutes
Serves 4
Ingredients
180ml extra virgin olive oil; 4 to 5 large cloves of garlic, minced or pureed (or 3 to 4 garlic scapes, roughly chopped); 1 or 2 small hot red chillies, dried (or ¼ teaspoon dried red chilli flakes); 400g raw prawns, deveined, heads removed and tails left intact; a generous splash of sweet chilli vinegar; sea salt flakes for seasoning; a small handful of fresh flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
Method
▶ Heat the oil in a terracotta dish or frying pan. Once the oil is sizzling hot, add the garlic and chilli, stirring continuously for about 10 seconds until golden and aromatic.
▶ Add a splash of sweet chilli vinegar and as it vigorously simmers, releasing perfumed aromas, add the prawns and cook, stirring a few times.
▶ Once the prawns turn pink, after 1 or 2 minutes of cooking, remove from the heat and season with sea salt flakes.
▶ Once the prawns are cool enough to eat, scatter with parsley and serve with small forks or toothpicks as the perfect sharing starter. Finish off with crusty bread to soak up all that flavour-infused olive oil.
Ms Yang's top tips for parents new to the UAE
- Join parent networks
- Look beyond school fees
- Keep an open mind
Premier Futsal 2017 Finals
Al Wasl Football Club; six teams, five-a-side
Delhi Dragons: Ronaldinho
Bengaluru Royals: Paul Scholes
Mumbai Warriors: Ryan Giggs
Chennai Ginghams: Hernan Crespo
Telugu Tigers: Deco
Kerala Cobras: Michel Salgado
NO OTHER LAND
Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal
Stars: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham
Rating: 3.5/5
The rules on fostering in the UAE
A foster couple or family must:
- be Muslim, Emirati and be residing in the UAE
- not be younger than 25 years old
- not have been convicted of offences or crimes involving moral turpitude
- be free of infectious diseases or psychological and mental disorders
- have the ability to support its members and the foster child financially
- undertake to treat and raise the child in a proper manner and take care of his or her health and well-being
- A single, divorced or widowed Muslim Emirati female, residing in the UAE may apply to foster a child if she is at least 30 years old and able to support the child financially
Abu Dhabi Grand Slam Jiu-Jitsu World Tour Calendar 2018/19
July 29: OTA Gymnasium in Tokyo, Japan
Sep 22-23: LA Convention Centre in Los Angeles, US
Nov 16-18: Carioca Arena Centre in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Feb 7-9: Mubadala Arena in Abu Dhabi, UAE
Mar 9-10: Copper Box Arena in London, UK
The biog
Favourite colour: Brown
Favourite Movie: Resident Evil
Hobbies: Painting, Cooking, Imitating Voices
Favourite food: Pizza
Trivia: Was the voice of three characters in the Emirati animation, Shaabiyat Al Cartoon
FA Cup quarter-final draw
The matches will be played across the weekend of 21 and 22 March
Sheffield United v Arsenal
Newcastle v Manchester City
Norwich v Derby/Manchester United
Leicester City v Chelsea
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ETFs explained
Exhchange traded funds are bought and sold like shares, but operate as index-tracking funds, passively following their chosen indices, such as the S&P 500, FTSE 100 and the FTSE All World, plus a vast range of smaller exchanges and commodities, such as gold, silver, copper sugar, coffee and oil.
ETFs have zero upfront fees and annual charges as low as 0.07 per cent a year, which means you get to keep more of your returns, as actively managed funds can charge as much as 1.5 per cent a year.
There are thousands to choose from, with the five biggest providers BlackRock’s iShares range, Vanguard, State Street Global Advisors SPDR ETFs, Deutsche Bank AWM X-trackers and Invesco PowerShares.
Europe’s rearming plan
- Suspend strict budget rules to allow member countries to step up defence spending
- Create new "instrument" providing €150 billion of loans to member countries for defence investment
- Use the existing EU budget to direct more funds towards defence-related investment
- Engage the bloc's European Investment Bank to drop limits on lending to defence firms
- Create a savings and investments union to help companies access capital
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
A MINECRAFT MOVIE
Director: Jared Hess
Starring: Jack Black, Jennifer Coolidge, Jason Momoa
Rating: 3/5
Godzilla%20x%20Kong%3A%20The%20New%20Empire
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T20 World Cup Qualifier
October 18 – November 2
Opening fixtures
Friday, October 18
ICC Academy: 10am, Scotland v Singapore, 2.10pm, Netherlands v Kenya
Zayed Cricket Stadium: 2.10pm, Hong Kong v Ireland, 7.30pm, Oman v UAE
UAE squad
Ahmed Raza (captain), Rohan Mustafa, Ashfaq Ahmed, Rameez Shahzad, Darius D’Silva, Mohammed Usman, Mohammed Boota, Zawar Farid, Ghulam Shabber, Junaid Siddique, Sultan Ahmed, Imran Haider, Waheed Ahmed, Chirag Suri, Zahoor Khan
Players out: Mohammed Naveed, Shaiman Anwar, Qadeer Ahmed
Players in: Junaid Siddique, Darius D’Silva, Waheed Ahmed
If you go
The flights
Etihad (etihad.com) flies from Abu Dhabi to Luang Prabang via Bangkok, with a return flight from Chiang Rai via Bangkok for about Dh3,000, including taxes. Emirates and Thai Airways cover the same route, also via Bangkok in both directions, from about Dh2,700.
The cruise
The Gypsy by Mekong Kingdoms has two cruising options: a three-night, four-day trip upstream cruise or a two-night, three-day downstream journey, from US$5,940 (Dh21,814), including meals, selected drinks, excursions and transfers.
The hotels
Accommodation is available in Luang Prabang at the Avani, from $290 (Dh1,065) per night, and at Anantara Golden Triangle Elephant Camp and Resort from $1,080 (Dh3,967) per night, including meals, an activity and transfers.
BMW%20M4%20Competition
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Sustainable Development Goals
1. End poverty in all its forms everywhere
2. End hunger, achieve food security and improved nutrition and promote sustainable agriculture
3. Ensure healthy lives and promote well-being for all at all ages
4. Ensure inclusive and equitable quality education and promote lifelong learning opportunities for all
5. Achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls
6. Ensure availability and sustainable management of water and sanitation for all
7. Ensure access to affordable, reliable, sustainable and modern energy for all
8. Promote sustained, inclusive and sustainable economic growth, full and productive employment and decent work for all
9. Build resilient infrastructure, promote inclusive and sustainable industrialisation and foster innovation
10. Reduce inequality within and among countries
11. Make cities and human settlements inclusive, safe, resilient and sustainable
12. Ensure sustainable consumption and production patterns
13. Take urgent action to combat climate change and its effects
14. Conserve and sustainably use the oceans, seas and marine resources for sustainable development
15. Protect, restore and promote sustainable use of terrestrial ecosystems, sustainably manage forests, combat desertification, and halt and reverse land degradation and halt biodiversity loss
16. Promote peaceful and inclusive societies for sustainable development, provide access to justice for all and build effective, accountable and inclusive institutions at all levels
17. Strengthen the means of implementation and revitalise the global partnership for sustainable development
Game Changer
Director: Shankar
Stars: Ram Charan, Kiara Advani, Anjali, S J Suryah, Jayaram
Rating: 2/5
JOKE'S%20ON%20YOU
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