A crash course in humility



Everybody knows that the taxi drivers are crazy. It's the way they speed, then slow down and stop suddenly, then zig, zag, cross three lanes, honk, cut in and cut out. When my aunt and cousins visited, they were so traumatised by the taxis in Abu Dhabi that the goodbye hugs at the airport were especially long. By the time they came to the end of the holiday, my poor cousin Luke would plead with his mother to avoid the gaudily upholstered back seats, the haphazard driving and the near death experiences. He would rather walk in 40-degree heat.

Not that I blame the boy for his aversion. Driving habits are indeed unruly. To visitors, it must sometimes seem like standards of driving etiquette are completely different here. Although I suppose it is easy to understand how driving across the same city, through the same streets, hundreds of times per day could become tiring. Taxi drivers are seen by many as a menace on the roads, that's true. But I imagine that threading a taxi through the same streets every day for decades could impart a possibly exaggerated sense of familiarity and safety in a driver - the same roads, the same traffic lights, the same landmarks.

After enough time has passed, and enough daily repetitions have been made of the same routes, everything must begin to feel routine, even the trumped up SUVs doing 160 kph down Salam Street. Ho hum. A little traffic? Too much speed? Well, I know these roads. I can handle it. I am a finely tuned driving machine. I don't just see the opening gaps between cars, I sense them. Me and my car are a needle and thread, sewed through byways and highways to end at the destination.

Those terrible frustrating taxis, I find myself thinking. Where did they learn how to drive anyway? They are impossible. Along Airport Road on the way to Dubai last week, the traffic was slow, then quick. Stop then go. It was early morning and yet another sunny day, and I was singing along to the latest Coldplay album. The car stops then goes, stop then goes. The light turns green, I go, look up, then down. I see red and hit the brakes. Too late. I had slammed into the back of a taxi.

Our family matters legal consultant

Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais

Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.

NO OTHER LAND

Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal

Stars: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham

Rating: 3.5/5

A MINECRAFT MOVIE

Director: Jared Hess

Starring: Jack Black, Jennifer Coolidge, Jason Momoa

Rating: 3/5

The specs

Engine: 1.5-litre 4-cylinder petrol

Power: 154bhp

Torque: 250Nm

Transmission: 7-speed automatic with 8-speed sports option 

Price: From Dh79,600

On sale: Now

Neil Thomson – THE BIO

Family: I am happily married to my wife Liz and we have two children together.

Favourite music: Rock music. I started at a young age due to my father’s influence. He played in an Indian rock band The Flintstones who were once asked by Apple Records to fly over to England to perform there.

Favourite book: I constantly find myself reading The Bible.

Favourite film: The Greatest Showman.

Favourite holiday destination: I love visiting Melbourne as I have family there and it’s a wonderful place. New York at Christmas is also magical.

Favourite food: I went to boarding school so I like any cuisine really.

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
 
Started: 2021
 
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
 
Based: Tunisia 
 
Sector: Water technology 
 
Number of staff: 22 
 
Investment raised: $4 million 
In numbers: PKK’s money network in Europe

Germany: PKK collectors typically bring in $18 million in cash a year – amount has trebled since 2010

Revolutionary tax: Investigators say about $2 million a year raised from ‘tax collection’ around Marseille

Extortion: Gunman convicted in 2023 of demanding $10,000 from Kurdish businessman in Stockholm

Drug trade: PKK income claimed by Turkish anti-drugs force in 2024 to be as high as $500 million a year

Denmark: PKK one of two terrorist groups along with Iranian separatists ASMLA to raise “two-digit million amounts”

Contributions: Hundreds of euros expected from typical Kurdish families and thousands from business owners

TV channel: Kurdish Roj TV accounts frozen and went bankrupt after Denmark fined it more than $1 million over PKK links in 2013 

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Match info

Huddersfield Town 0

Chelsea 3
Kante (34'), Jorginho (45' pen), Pedro (80')

David Haye record

Total fights: 32
Wins: 28
Wins by KO: 26
Losses: 4

Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
 
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
 
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
 
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
 
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia