During Ramadan, many non-Muslims may be curious about different aspects of the holy month.
While abstaining from eating or drinking in public are well-known behaviours that are adopted during this time, there are many other ways to be a respectful friend, colleague and neighbour, while learning about Ramadan and even joining in yourself.
We asked a cultural speaker, a mother-of-three and an etiquette expert about the best ways to be more mindful during this time.
Should you take a gift if you’re invited to an iftar?
Iftar is the meal eaten after sunset when Muslims break their fast, often among family and friends. If you’re invited to a private home to join in, being a good guest means understanding the importance of the meal and expectations around cultural norms.
“When you visit a house where people are fasting and you join iftar or suhoor, no gifts would generally be expected,” says Abdulla Al Jabri, cultural presenter and supervisor of Jumeirah Mosque Majlis. “Your hosts would of course appreciate it if you brought something, but it would not be expected. If I went to an iftar gathering with my family, I might bring a pot of dates or something small like that.”
Present-giving is common during Ramadan, but more often than not, a guest’s attendance is gift enough.
“If you’re hosting, you want your guests to feel relaxed and happy in your house,” says Al Jabri. “Showing up is what matters the most.”
For Dubai mother-of-three and housewife Samira Mohammed, 38, an element of surprise is part of the enjoyment of inviting guests for iftar.
“During Ramadan, if I’m invited to a house, I like to bring a dish with me,” she says. “Food is always appreciated. People shouldn’t ask what to bring, they should just bring it.”
As well as the iftar meal, which can stretch on into the evening, as a guest it’s important to consider more than food.
“Dress modestly,” says etiquette expert Ziying Zhou. “If you’re visiting a Muslim home, opt for respectful, modest attire. It’s a simple way to show consideration for cultural traditions. Also, be mindful of prayer times. Many families will pray before or after iftar, so be aware and avoid loud conversations or disruptions. If you’re unsure of what to do, simply observe and follow the lead of your host.”
Can you ask your Muslim friends questions about Ramadan?
When it comes to understanding different cultures and customs, the easiest way to find out more is to ask those who practice them. It’s important, however, to remain respectful in your curiosity.
“Most Muslims are happy to share their experiences and knowledge, and they love it when people ask questions so that they can become more mindful and knowledgeable themselves,” says Al Jabri.
As with most things, timing is everything and if you have any questions you would like to ask friends or colleagues, choose your moment.
“It’s totally fine to ask questions when people are fasting,” he adds. “But keep in mind they may have less energy during this time. If asking questions about what Muslims might be reflecting on during Ramadan, it’s better to wait after the first two or three days of fasting while people get used to things like not having their morning coffee and then, it’s best to ask after they break their fast.”
Adds Mohammed: “I don’t mind questions as I enjoy answering them. As long as the questions are respectful, then they are welcomed.”
How can non-Muslims be respectful of fasting friends and colleagues?
Politeness, respect and awareness are top of the list when it comes to behaviours during Ramadan.
Under the title Ramadan etiquette for non-Muslims, the UAE's government portal says: “Non-Muslims do not have to fast in Ramadan. However, they are prohibited from eating, drinking and smoking in public during the fasting hours. This includes chewing gum.” The website also includes a list of reminders not to dance or play music in public or wear inappropriate clothing in public.
When it comes to private spaces, Al Jabri says: “If you work with Muslim colleagues, it’s good to be more thoughtful, so I would ask if it was okay to eat in front of them. Personally, if someone ate in front of me while I’m fasting I would not be offended, but it would be polite to be asked.”
In addition to eating and drinking, he suggests managers be aware of workers’ fatigue and energy levels, particularly during the first few days of Ramadan.
“If you’re a manager, I would avoid having a lot of business meetings during the daytime or big meetings when a lot of input is expected,” he says. “Offering kind words such as “Ramadan Kareem” or “I offer a blessed Ramadan” is always appreciated during the holy month.”
Timing is everything
With iftar and suhoor meals carefully planned and fasting Muslims keen to get home from work to break their fast, non-Muslims should be aware of sunset and mealtimes.
“Showing up without informing people,” says Mohammed of one of her Ramadan no-nos. “One time my neighbour was ringing the doorbell half an hour before iftar. When I answered the door, she was asking if her child can play with mine. I found it very surprising as I assumed everyone knows that mothers are busy cooking for the whole family and should not be disturbed.”
While punctuality is considered polite, if attending an iftar at a private home, non-Muslims might want to arrive a little later than the start time to allow for prayer and family time.
“In this part of the world, the concept of timing can sometimes be more relaxed, and for many gatherings, arriving 15 minutes later than the suggested time is generally acceptable,” says Zhou. “For an iftar gathering, timing is critical. The fast is broken at a precise moment at sunset, and arriving late can disrupt the flow of the meal.”
She adds: “That said, never arrive earlier than the suggested time, as your host may still be busy with last-minute preparations.”
How can non-Muslims respectfully participate in Ramadan?
For those who would like to join in with the spirit of Ramadan, there are many different ways to do so such as fasting alongside friends and colleagues.
“It is totally respectful and we love to see that people around us are joining us in the holy month, living our culture and experiencing our culture and traditions that we practice every day,” says Al Jabri.
As well as fasting, there is an array of events and cultural programs across the UAE that run during Ramadan, as well as public iftars held at Mosques and community and cultural centres.
Traditionally a time to carry out good deeds, getting involved in charity work is another way to participate.
“As a Muslim, you must always try to maintain good deeds and works for charity,” says Al Jabri. “During Ramadan, people will tend to increase those deeds, participate in extra prayer time and work to quit bad habits and have more control over the self. Performing good deeds and working to better yourself are both excellent ways to capture the spirit of Ramadan.”
