An enduring motto I apply to most aspects of my professional and personal life is: "Fake it until you make it."
Whether battling the occasional bouts of imposter syndrome in my professional field or attending a social gathering, I initially fight the urge to be anywhere else until I get in the groove and eventually enjoy myself.
It wasn’t the same mental dance last week, however.
After what felt like months of co-ordinating, my two friends and I finally met for lunch, and for the first time in a long while, I returned home from all that socialising feeling elated and inspired rather than simply exhausted. More than just resolving to make a greater effort to hang out with these mates more often, the experience also made me reflect on the meaning of friendship.
Like many things in life, a sage comment from the great Oscar-winning actor Denzel Washington shed light on the matter. During one of his red carpet appearances to promote the blockbuster sequel Gladiator 2 alongside fellow cast member Pedro Pascal, Washington provided a simple yet prescient definition of what it means to be a friend.
As part of a joint interview, Pascal made the well-meaning and off-the-cuff comment that they were friends. In response, the uncompromising Washington lightly corrected him, stating they were, in fact, not that close. Perhaps to mitigate Pascal’s stunned reaction, Washington invited him to his home in Los Angeles for tea to build that connection.
Bravo, Denzel. He nailed some of the unexplained disquiet I have been feeling about my social connections over the years – that they are mostly great acquaintances rather than great friends. It is a subtle difference that can be increasingly blurry in this age of social media and a demanding work culture.
In recent years, I have found myself attending many industry events and get-togethers rather than seeing actual friends, convincing myself that it is a better use of my limited time.
My personal and work life increasingly felt more hollow as a result. The lack of connection with those near and dear has robbed me of a chance to receive honest observations and advice about myself and build the kind of deeper bonds that make living abroad so enriching.
Meanwhile, prioritising my work life and “talking shop” with acquaintances and colleagues has actually made my professional life more gruelling. Any tips and advice gained from these exchanges are mostly nullified by the seemingly never-ending thoughts of the job that rarely cease outside the office.
This explains the social rut I have fallen into of late, which stems from valuing – through my time and efforts – acquaintances over friends. Following Washington’s advice, I am now making a conscious effort to find ways to differentiate between the two.
Some of these criteria include asking myself: are we comfortable confiding in each other? Do we need a specific context to meet? More importantly: are we adept at vigorously discussing the seemingly small and mundane things as well as the important and vulnerable topics?
Now, this doesn’t imply I can never be friends with my awesome colleagues – it just means our gatherings should be a well-deserved break from the office grind to give our connection real meaning.
For those not providing that levity, that’s totally OK and I look forward to seeing you in the office. For those that do, let’s have tea at my place.
Labour dispute
The insured employee may still file an ILOE claim even if a labour dispute is ongoing post termination, but the insurer may suspend or reject payment, until the courts resolve the dispute, especially if the reason for termination is contested. The outcome of the labour court proceedings can directly affect eligibility.
- Abdullah Ishnaneh, Partner, BSA Law
The candidates
Dr Ayham Ammora, scientist and business executive
Ali Azeem, business leader
Tony Booth, professor of education
Lord Browne, former BP chief executive
Dr Mohamed El-Erian, economist
Professor Wyn Evans, astrophysicist
Dr Mark Mann, scientist
Gina MIller, anti-Brexit campaigner
Lord Smith, former Cabinet minister
Sandi Toksvig, broadcaster
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Ferrari 12Cilindri specs
Engine: naturally aspirated 6.5-liter V12
Power: 819hp
Torque: 678Nm at 7,250rpm
Price: From Dh1,700,000
Available: Now
Quick%20facts
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OPINIONS ON PALESTINE & ISRAEL
ELIO
Starring: Yonas Kibreab, Zoe Saldana, Brad Garrett
Directors: Madeline Sharafian, Domee Shi, Adrian Molina
Rating: 4/5
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Mobile phone packages comparison
The%20specs
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What is a robo-adviser?
Robo-advisers use an online sign-up process to gauge an investor’s risk tolerance by feeding information such as their age, income, saving goals and investment history into an algorithm, which then assigns them an investment portfolio, ranging from more conservative to higher risk ones.
These portfolios are made up of exchange traded funds (ETFs) with exposure to indices such as US and global equities, fixed-income products like bonds, though exposure to real estate, commodity ETFs or gold is also possible.
Investing in ETFs allows robo-advisers to offer fees far lower than traditional investments, such as actively managed mutual funds bought through a bank or broker. Investors can buy ETFs directly via a brokerage, but with robo-advisers they benefit from investment portfolios matched to their risk tolerance as well as being user friendly.
Many robo-advisers charge what are called wrap fees, meaning there are no additional fees such as subscription or withdrawal fees, success fees or fees for rebalancing.
Western Region Asia Cup T20 Qualifier
Sun Feb 23 – Thu Feb 27, Al Amerat, Oman
The two finalists advance to the Asia qualifier in Malaysia in August
Group A
Bahrain, Maldives, Oman, Qatar
Group B
UAE, Iran, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia
UAE group fixtures
Sunday Feb 23, 9.30am, v Iran
Monday Feb 25, 1pm, v Kuwait
Tuesday Feb 26, 9.30am, v Saudi
UAE squad
Ahmed Raza, Rohan Mustafa, Alishan Sharafu, Ansh Tandon, Vriitya Aravind, Junaid Siddique, Waheed Ahmed, Karthik Meiyappan, Basil Hameed, Mohammed Usman, Mohammed Ayaz, Zahoor Khan, Chirag Suri, Sultan Ahmed
2019 Asian Cup final
Japan v Qatar
Friday, 6pm
Zayed Sports City Stadium, Abu Dhabi
THE SIXTH SENSE
Starring: Bruce Willis, Toni Collette, Hayley Joel Osment
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Rating: 5/5
In-demand jobs and monthly salaries
- Technology expert in robotics and automation: Dh20,000 to Dh40,000
- Energy engineer: Dh25,000 to Dh30,000
- Production engineer: Dh30,000 to Dh40,000
- Data-driven supply chain management professional: Dh30,000 to Dh50,000
- HR leader: Dh40,000 to Dh60,000
- Engineering leader: Dh30,000 to Dh55,000
- Project manager: Dh55,000 to Dh65,000
- Senior reservoir engineer: Dh40,000 to Dh55,000
- Senior drilling engineer: Dh38,000 to Dh46,000
- Senior process engineer: Dh28,000 to Dh38,000
- Senior maintenance engineer: Dh22,000 to Dh34,000
- Field engineer: Dh6,500 to Dh7,500
- Field supervisor: Dh9,000 to Dh12,000
- Field operator: Dh5,000 to Dh7,000
WHAT IS A BLACK HOLE?
1. Black holes are objects whose gravity is so strong not even light can escape their pull
2. They can be created when massive stars collapse under their own weight
3. Large black holes can also be formed when smaller ones collide and merge
4. The biggest black holes lurk at the centre of many galaxies, including our own
5. Astronomers believe that when the universe was very young, black holes affected how galaxies formed
