Abha Jha (name changed upon request) was only 6 years old when she first witnessed her parents fighting and hurling abuse at each other. Each time it happened after that, she would seek to protect her younger sibling and hide in a room until the noises died down.
Jha, 45, grew up a quiet and withdrawn child and stopped expressing her emotions. This had an impact on her in the long run and made her reticent in her own marriage. Her divorce, in part, pushed her to seek out an empathetic counsellor who is helping her heal from the past through shadow work, an age-old therapy technique that is currently trending with millions of users on social media platforms such as TikTok and Instagram.
“From the age of about 3 or 4, each experience we go through impacts our life in one way or another,” explains behavioural researcher and therapist Deenaz Damania. “The more painful an experience, the greater the effort we make to push it out of our conscious mind. But it is not forgotten. Rather, it gets repressed deep within us and added to our library of unconscious memories. As [psychoanalyst Sigmund] Freud explained, these unconscious memories continue to impact our everyday lives as adults.”
Identifying the 'shadow self'
The term shadow work was coined by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung and it’s essentially about recognising the “dark side” of our personality. According to Jung: “The shadow personifies everything that the subject refuses to acknowledge about himself. How can I be substantial if I do not cast a shadow? I must have a dark side also if I am to be whole.”
The 'shame story' can be brought out of the shadows ... it does not have to imprison us for life
Deenaz Damania,
therapist
The “shadow self” is the child who was hurt in their early years or did not get the compassion or love they deserved. These types of early traumas result in deep wounds that never fully heal and affect a person in adulthood. Shadow work helps people get in touch with their deeper, darker side to acknowledge all their repressed emotions and childhood traumas, as to heal and empower themselves and experience life to its fullest potential.
On the other hand, when you suppress childhood traumas and wounded parts of your psyche, it creates stress that can lead to serious mental health issues or addictive behavior for relief. It also shapes your thoughts, emotions and behaviour.
Coming out of the shadows
“We all have a personal relationship with shame and guilt, and this hidden association sustains our pain and suffering,” says Damania. “Shadow work helps individuals find freedom, and gives them the courage and compassion to explore and expose these emotions. It teaches us that the 'shame story' can be brought out of the shadows and that it does not have to imprison us for life.”
Ingrid Hanlon, a writer for self-esteem and self-improvement blog Daisy Garni, says: “The more you shame and blame your shadow, the less likely you are to see yourself. The more you accept your shadow, the easier it is to grow. Give it your love, compassion and understanding.”
Through therapy, people can transform emotional pain into a sense of well-being and freedom from the past
Deenaz Damania
Dealing with the past, recognising toxic behaviour patterns and having an inner monologue are some ways to help us in our interactions and personal relationships, as well as boost self-esteem and heal generational traumas.
“Low self-esteem, anxieties and false belief systems play an important role in how we perceive ourselves. As a therapist, it is very rewarding to help a counselee peel away layers of dust-laden memories, wounds and repressed ideas of personal inadequacy, which dictate the quality of their present life in unnecessarily harmful ways,” says Damania. “Through therapy, people can recognise and transform emotional pain into a sense of well-being and freedom from the past.”
Make shadow work work for you
Forgiveness is an essential part of the shadow work process, as is facing your inner demons. Spiritual blogger Linette Meder says the shadow can be accessed via dreams and meditation or through someone’s hurtful criticism of your qualities. Usually what we find disturbing in others is also a reflection of the part of us that is unlikeable. So identifying triggers is important: who or what angers or irritates you?
Shadow work helps us to gracefully accept that we are all so many selves rolled into one
Deenaz Damania
Next comes working with a therapist who helps you break those patterns again and again until the triggers stop bothering you. To go into a meditative or theta state and access painful memories from the past with a therapist’s help is also useful.
In her video on shadow work, YouTuber Keelin Moncrieff, 23, offers a list of 15 prompts that question thought processes from letting go of grudges to slowing down, and then talks through tools to heal them.
Many followers of the therapy keep a shadow work journal to help identify triggers as well as seek catharsis. Digging deep into the roots of behaviour patterns may be painful, but it’s essential to express emotions in healthy ways, to become more confident and, eventually, be the best version of ourselves.
Shadow work ultimately helps us to gracefully accept that we are all so many selves rolled into one, says Damania "to integrate these within ourselves with courage and compassion, and to treat ourselves with the same kindness and gentleness and love as we would a good friend."
SPEC%20SHEET
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War 2
Director: Ayan Mukerji
Stars: Hrithik Roshan, NTR, Kiara Advani, Ashutosh Rana
Rating: 2/5
More from Rashmee Roshan Lall
Jetour T1 specs
Engine: 2-litre turbocharged
Power: 254hp
Torque: 390Nm
Price: From Dh126,000
Available: Now
Specs
Engine: Electric motor generating 54.2kWh (Cooper SE and Aceman SE), 64.6kW (Countryman All4 SE)
Power: 218hp (Cooper and Aceman), 313hp (Countryman)
Torque: 330Nm (Cooper and Aceman), 494Nm (Countryman)
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh158,000 (Cooper), Dh168,000 (Aceman), Dh190,000 (Countryman)
The specs: 2018 Nissan 370Z Nismo
The specs: 2018 Nissan 370Z Nismo
Price, base / as tested: Dh182,178
Engine: 3.7-litre V6
Power: 350hp @ 7,400rpm
Torque: 374Nm @ 5,200rpm
Transmission: Seven-speed automatic
Fuel consumption, combined: 10.5L / 100km
The Great Derangement: Climate Change and the Unthinkable
Amitav Ghosh, University of Chicago Press
'The worst thing you can eat'
Trans fat is typically found in fried and baked goods, but you may be consuming more than you think.
Powdered coffee creamer, microwave popcorn and virtually anything processed with a crust is likely to contain it, as this guide from Mayo Clinic outlines:
Baked goods - Most cakes, cookies, pie crusts and crackers contain shortening, which is usually made from partially hydrogenated vegetable oil. Ready-made frosting is another source of trans fat.
Snacks - Potato, corn and tortilla chips often contain trans fat. And while popcorn can be a healthy snack, many types of packaged or microwave popcorn use trans fat to help cook or flavour the popcorn.
Fried food - Foods that require deep frying — french fries, doughnuts and fried chicken — can contain trans fat from the oil used in the cooking process.
Refrigerator dough - Products such as canned biscuits and cinnamon rolls often contain trans fat, as do frozen pizza crusts.
Creamer and margarine - Nondairy coffee creamer and stick margarines also may contain partially hydrogenated vegetable oils.
The specs
AT4 Ultimate, as tested
Engine: 6.2-litre V8
Power: 420hp
Torque: 623Nm
Transmission: 10-speed automatic
Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)
On sale: Now
Company profile
Name: Thndr
Started: October 2020
Founders: Ahmad Hammouda and Seif Amr
Based: Cairo, Egypt
Sector: FinTech
Initial investment: pre-seed of $800,000
Funding stage: series A; $20 million
Investors: Tiger Global, Beco Capital, Prosus Ventures, Y Combinator, Global Ventures, Abdul Latif Jameel, Endure Capital, 4DX Ventures, Plus VC, Rabacap and MSA Capital
What the law says
Micro-retirement is not a recognised concept or employment status under Federal Decree Law No. 33 of 2021 on the Regulation of Labour Relations (as amended) (UAE Labour Law). As such, it reflects a voluntary work-life balance practice, rather than a recognised legal employment category, according to Dilini Loku, senior associate for law firm Gateley Middle East.
“Some companies may offer formal sabbatical policies or career break programmes; however, beyond such arrangements, there is no automatic right or statutory entitlement to extended breaks,” she explains.
“Any leave taken beyond statutory entitlements, such as annual leave, is typically regarded as unpaid leave in accordance with Article 33 of the UAE Labour Law. While employees may legally take unpaid leave, such requests are subject to the employer’s discretion and require approval.”
If an employee resigns to pursue micro-retirement, the employment contract is terminated, and the employer is under no legal obligation to rehire the employee in the future unless specific contractual agreements are in place (such as return-to-work arrangements), which are generally uncommon, Ms Loku adds.
The five pillars of Islam
Profile of Hala Insurance
Date Started: September 2018
Founders: Walid and Karim Dib
Based: Abu Dhabi
Employees: Nine
Amount raised: $1.2 million
Funders: Oman Technology Fund, AB Accelerator, 500 Startups, private backers
AI traffic lights to ease congestion at seven points to Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Street
The seven points are:
Shakhbout bin Sultan Street
Dhafeer Street
Hadbat Al Ghubainah Street (outbound)
Salama bint Butti Street
Al Dhafra Street
Rabdan Street
Umm Yifina Street exit (inbound)
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KEY%20DATES%20IN%20AMAZON'S%20HISTORY
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Key findings of Jenkins report
- Founder of the Muslim Brotherhood, Hassan al Banna, "accepted the political utility of violence"
- Views of key Muslim Brotherhood ideologue, Sayyid Qutb, have “consistently been understood” as permitting “the use of extreme violence in the pursuit of the perfect Islamic society” and “never been institutionally disowned” by the movement.
- Muslim Brotherhood at all levels has repeatedly defended Hamas attacks against Israel, including the use of suicide bombers and the killing of civilians.
- Laying out the report in the House of Commons, David Cameron told MPs: "The main findings of the review support the conclusion that membership of, association with, or influence by the Muslim Brotherhood should be considered as a possible indicator of extremism."
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4cyl turbo
Power: 261hp at 5,500rpm
Torque: 405Nm at 1,750-3,500rpm
Transmission: 9-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 6.9L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh117,059
BMW M5 specs
Engine: 4.4-litre twin-turbo V-8 petrol enging with additional electric motor
Power: 727hp
Torque: 1,000Nm
Transmission: 8-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 10.6L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh650,000
Pharaoh's curse
British aristocrat Lord Carnarvon, who funded the expedition to find the Tutankhamun tomb, died in a Cairo hotel four months after the crypt was opened.
He had been in poor health for many years after a car crash, and a mosquito bite made worse by a shaving cut led to blood poisoning and pneumonia.
Reports at the time said Lord Carnarvon suffered from “pain as the inflammation affected the nasal passages and eyes”.
Decades later, scientists contended he had died of aspergillosis after inhaling spores of the fungus aspergillus in the tomb, which can lie dormant for months. The fact several others who entered were also found dead withiin a short time led to the myth of the curse.
