Poor little rich kid. Her father is loaded. But she doesn't live within his means. Home for her is Italy with her mother, stepfather and three half-siblings. Her very wealthy father also has three younger children with his second wife. They live here in the UAE.
OK, so "poor" is a stretch. This teenager might not be living the lavish lifestyle afforded to her father and his younger family, but her dad more than pays her way. Every month he hands over a set - significant - sum to the mother, entrusting her with their child's best interests and financial wants and needs. He doesn't know how it's spent, or on whom.
He's fine with that. All he's interested in is her well-being - and I'm sure he has figured out that it's intrinsically linked to the overall well-being of her family in Italy - so what if it's spent on his ex's new family and not just on her?
Not every former partner is so magnanimous. Former neighbours of mine had a terrible break-up years ago - both parties went on to remarry - their two daughters moving in with their mother. Their mother, independently wealthier than her former husband, decided to draw a very thick line around financial responsibility - apportioning rent and all other expenses and charging their father accordingly - she has no children with her new partner. Her former husband went on to have three more with his second wife, paid what he was billed, and more, spending lavishly on all manner of things from designer wants to luxury apartments when the daughters relocated abroad to study - probably born of both guilt and competing with the stepfather's lifestyle.
He is in mountains of debt as a result. I wonder how his current, younger family will fare. There is a definite financial knock-on effect. As for how his two older daughters will process this phase - knowing that the cost of their life was a sticking issue between their parents - time will tell.
There are more complicated lives out there.
Last week I was told of a situation where two families were united through second marriages - with five children between both partners. The youngest was born as a result of the new union. They all lived together in a big house. Unfortunately, the mother died two years ago when her youngest was seven. Her second husband couldn't cope emotionally, and who knows whether he could financially? This meant that his older stepchildren moved in with their father, his biological children went to their mother, with his youngest staying with him. I haven't a clue who is responsible for what in their current situation.
These stories are not unique to our modern age, but they are on the increase, whatever the cause. And with them is an evolving way of managing our interlinked lives and figuring out finances.
For example, would you be financially responsible for stepchildren if you had any? If your new marriage ended, how would that change things?
Few would dispute that the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child is a fundamental human right. It states that the upbringing and development of children and a standard of living adequate for the child's development is a common responsibility of both parents.
I am querying the definition of "parent" - a birth-parent isn't always who the child considers to be their parent. The word "responsibility" also needs close inspection. One party always ends up with the lion's share of the care - and so expecting them to find the money (that they can't earn because they're busy with the daily life stuff of looking after their brood, or at least don't maximise their earnings) to support their children is not on.
Yes, courts can be involved - but what a nightmare - and a load of extra expense, not to mention emotional stress and lifelong scars to deal with - especially born by the children the dispute is over.
Some still believe that divorce means losing a parent - not so. Some parents become more "present" in their child's life post-split, plus they don't lose a parent, they lose a live-in biological parent. Big difference. Children might even gain another "life parent", aka step-parent.
I wonder how the patchwork family deals with the financial lines of responsibility though - especially in times of strife. Breakup, betrayal or death don't always bring out the best in people.
Doing right by our former loved ones and our offspring would mean we'd have a tonne more rich kids - rich in kindness, well-being, giving and love. Money doesn't buy that. Great relationships, blood or not, do.
Back to my rich friend with a teenage daughter living in Italy - they have a great relationship and share as much time as they can together. Yes she gets more than her Italian siblings, in the way of luxury holidays and designer gear. And, yes, it's far from ideal that she doesn't live close to her father, but she knows that she's loved by everyone in her life.
Financial nitpicking is nowhere on the horizon. It's not about him having the means (although it helps). It's about him having the attitude and belief that her well-being must be front and centre.
Nima Abu Wardeh describes herself using three words: Person. Parent. Pupil. Each day she works out which one gets priority, sharing her journey on finding-nima.com. You can reach her at nima@finding-nima.com and on Twitter: @nimaabuwardeh.
The Bio
Ram Buxani earned a salary of 125 rupees per month in 1959
Indian currency was then legal tender in the Trucial States.
He received the wages plus food, accommodation, a haircut and cinema ticket twice a month and actuals for shaving and laundry expenses
Buxani followed in his father’s footsteps when he applied for a job overseas
His father Jivat Ram worked in general merchandize store in Gibraltar and the Canary Islands in the early 1930s
Buxani grew the UAE business over several sectors from retail to financial services but is attached to the original textile business
He talks in detail about natural fibres, the texture of cloth, mirrorwork and embroidery
Buxani lives by a simple philosophy – do good to all
TOURNAMENT INFO
Fixtures
Sunday January 5 - Oman v UAE
Monday January 6 - UAE v Namibia
Wednesday January 8 - Oman v Namibia
Thursday January 9 - Oman v UAE
Saturday January 11 - UAE v Namibia
Sunday January 12 – Oman v Namibia
UAE squad
Ahmed Raza (captain), Rohan Mustafa, Mohammed Usman, CP Rizwan, Waheed Ahmed, Zawar Farid, Darius D’Silva, Karthik Meiyappan, Jonathan Figy, Vriitya Aravind, Zahoor Khan, Junaid Siddique, Basil Hameed, Chirag Suri
Fines for littering
In Dubai:
Dh200 for littering or spitting in the Dubai Metro
Dh500 for throwing cigarette butts or chewing gum on the floor, or littering from a vehicle.
Dh1,000 for littering on a beach, spitting in public places, throwing a cigarette butt from a vehicle
In Sharjah and other emirates
Dh500 for littering - including cigarette butts and chewing gum - in public places and beaches in Sharjah
Dh2,000 for littering in Sharjah deserts
Dh500 for littering from a vehicle in Ras Al Khaimah
Dh1,000 for littering from a car in Abu Dhabi
Dh1,000 to Dh100,000 for dumping waste in residential or public areas in Al Ain
Dh10,000 for littering at Ajman's beaches
Green ambitions
- Trees: 1,500 to be planted, replacing 300 felled ones, with veteran oaks protected
- Lake: Brown's centrepiece to be cleaned of silt that makes it as shallow as 2.5cm
- Biodiversity: Bat cave to be added and habitats designed for kingfishers and little grebes
- Flood risk: Longer grass, deeper lake, restored ponds and absorbent paths all meant to siphon off water
if you go
The flights
Fly to Rome with Etihad (www.etihad.ae) or Emirates (www.emirates.com) from Dh2,480 return including taxes. The flight takes six hours. Fly from Rome to Trapani with Ryanair (www.ryanair.com) from Dh420 return including taxes. The flight takes one hour 10 minutes.
The hotels
The author recommends the following hotels for this itinerary. In Trapani, Ai Lumi (www.ailumi.it); in Marsala, Viacolvento (www.viacolventomarsala.it); and in Marsala Del Vallo, the Meliaresort Dimore Storiche (www.meliaresort.it).
The White Lotus: Season three
Creator: Mike White
Starring: Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Natasha Rothwell
Rating: 4.5/5
BULKWHIZ PROFILE
Date started: February 2017
Founders: Amira Rashad (CEO), Yusuf Saber (CTO), Mahmoud Sayedahmed (adviser), Reda Bouraoui (adviser)
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: E-commerce
Size: 50 employees
Funding: approximately $6m
Investors: Beco Capital, Enabling Future and Wain in the UAE; China's MSA Capital; 500 Startups; Faith Capital and Savour Ventures in Kuwait
THE LOWDOWN
Photograph
Rating: 4/5
Produced by: Poetic License Motion Pictures; RSVP Movies
Director: Ritesh Batra
Cast: Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Sanya Malhotra, Farrukh Jaffar, Deepak Chauhan, Vijay Raaz
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
At a glance
Global events: Much of the UK’s economic woes were blamed on “increased global uncertainty”, which can be interpreted as the economic impact of the Ukraine war and the uncertainty over Donald Trump’s tariffs.
Growth forecasts: Cut for 2025 from 2 per cent to 1 per cent. The OBR watchdog also estimated inflation will average 3.2 per cent this year
Welfare: Universal credit health element cut by 50 per cent and frozen for new claimants, building on cuts to the disability and incapacity bill set out earlier this month
Spending cuts: Overall day-to day-spending across government cut by £6.1bn in 2029-30
Tax evasion: Steps to crack down on tax evasion to raise “£6.5bn per year” for the public purse
Defence: New high-tech weaponry, upgrading HM Naval Base in Portsmouth
Housing: Housebuilding to reach its highest in 40 years, with planning reforms helping generate an extra £3.4bn for public finances
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
RECORD%20BREAKER
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Killing of Qassem Suleimani
NO OTHER LAND
Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal
Stars: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham
Rating: 3.5/5
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
The specs: 2018 Volkswagen Teramont
Price, base / as tested Dh137,000 / Dh189,950
Engine 3.6-litre V6
Gearbox Eight-speed automatic
Power 280hp @ 6,200rpm
Torque 360Nm @ 2,750rpm
Fuel economy, combined 11.7L / 100km
Our family matters legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
Business Insights
- Canada and Mexico are significant energy suppliers to the US, providing the majority of oil and natural gas imports
- The introduction of tariffs could hinder the US's clean energy initiatives by raising input costs for materials like nickel
- US domestic suppliers might benefit from higher prices, but overall oil consumption is expected to decrease due to elevated costs
Did you know?
Brunch has been around, is some form or another, for more than a century. The word was first mentioned in print in an 1895 edition of Hunter’s Weekly, after making the rounds among university students in Britain. The article, entitled Brunch: A Plea, argued the case for a later, more sociable weekend meal. “By eliminating the need to get up early on Sunday, brunch would make life brighter for Saturday night carousers. It would promote human happiness in other ways as well,” the piece read. “It is talk-compelling. It puts you in a good temper, it makes you satisfied with yourself and your fellow beings, it sweeps away the worries and cobwebs of the week.” More than 100 years later, author Guy Beringer’s words still ring true, especially in the UAE, where brunches are often used to mark special, sociable occasions.
SPEC%20SHEET%3A%20APPLE%20M3%20MACBOOK%20AIR%20(13%22)
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Real estate tokenisation project
Dubai launched the pilot phase of its real estate tokenisation project last month.
The initiative focuses on converting real estate assets into digital tokens recorded on blockchain technology and helps in streamlining the process of buying, selling and investing, the Dubai Land Department said.
Dubai’s real estate tokenisation market is projected to reach Dh60 billion ($16.33 billion) by 2033, representing 7 per cent of the emirate’s total property transactions, according to the DLD.
The Sand Castle
Director: Matty Brown
Stars: Nadine Labaki, Ziad Bakri, Zain Al Rafeea, Riman Al Rafeea
Rating: 2.5/5
Habib El Qalb
Assi Al Hallani
(Rotana)
The five pillars of Islam
1. Fasting
2. Prayer
3. Hajj
4. Shahada
5. Zakat
A State of Passion
Directors: Carol Mansour and Muna Khalidi
Stars: Dr Ghassan Abu-Sittah
Rating: 4/5
Greatest of All Time
Starring: Vijay, Sneha, Prashanth, Prabhu Deva, Mohan
