If your parents are anything like mine, there are times when you appreciate having an ocean between you and them. But for expatriates, members of the "sandwich generation", taking care of elderly parents while supporting themselves and their own children is a burden they can't avoid.
Of course, many Emiratis, for whom caring for parents into old age is a given, would shake their heads in wonder at this. In the Middle East, Africa, as well as Asia, the concept of sending parents to a home, or leaving them to fend for themselves is just plain weird.
In any case, the circle is rapidly turning and whether we are ready or not, many of us will end up having to provide some form of assistance to an ageing family, even as we are still tying the shoelaces of the upcoming generation. A study by the SunAmerica Financial Group and Age Wave, a research organisation that studies the effects of ageing on society, shows that almost half of Americans over 55 expect to support both their ageing parents and their children.
In the UK, about 250,000 couples are in the same position, according to The Guardian newspaper. And a large share of Pakistan's nearly US$11 billion (Dh40.4bn) in remittances is spent on caring for family back home.
According to the UN, the fastest-growing group in the world is the "oldest old" - those who have lived past the age of 80. Many of these people are expected to outlive their savings. At the same time, their children will also likely be part of another rapidly growing demographic - people who opt to have children later in life.
I'd go so far as to predict that we are not far away from the time when parental care will soon be right up there with children's education as a make-or-break issue when deciding on whether to move abroad for work. The cost of schooling is already a pivotal issue for families faced with relocation, a cost some employers try avoid. I can't think of many countries on the traditional expat work list that will issue residence visas to elderly dependants.
And it's no secret that offshore companies will, if at all possible, hire young, single workers if they can, rather than carry the burden of an employee with a spouse and children in tow. Only where they have no choice do they reluctantly provide family assistance. So it goes without saying that parental assistance of any kind is off the table.
In time, they may have no choice, as more professionals find themselves responsible for two generations. Issues such as relocation allowances that include elderly dependants, including air fares and even nursing care assistance will eventually become part of the package for people with the more sought-after skills.
In the meantime, though, it's best to make what preparations you can to manage the situation yourself.
Speak to your parents and ask about estate planning. Do they have an attorney? Where do they keep all the relevant documents? Make sure you have the contact details of important people, such as a neighbour, their physician and lawyer.
If any of these contact details change, your parents should let you know. This is why it's important to discuss these issues with them, particularly if you are going to be abroad for some time. Next, have a contact person to call in time of crisis. It could be a friend of the family or a sibling living in your home country.
There will be few situations more distressing than having to manage a crisis while still trying to book a flight out and wrestling your luggage through the Etihad terminal.
Finally, you may also need to get a realistic picture of your parents' financial health. Not easy to do. My father, who regards parting with an extra cent as a personal failure, will not disclose his finances if his life depends on it. Luckily, I have mum as an inside spy to provide me with the necessary intelligence.
Ultimately, if your parents run into financial difficulty, you may have to step in and help out. To do so effectively, you need to be prepared.
Gavin du Venage is a business writer and entrepreneur based in South Africa.
pf@thenational.ae
Captain Marvel
Director: Anna Boden, Ryan Fleck
Starring: Brie Larson, Samuel L Jackson, Jude Law, Ben Mendelsohn
4/5 stars
Thanksgiving meals to try
World Cut Steakhouse, Habtoor Palace Hotel, Dubai. On Thursday evening, head chef Diego Solis will be serving a high-end sounding four-course meal that features chestnut veloute with smoked duck breast, turkey roulade accompanied by winter vegetables and foie gras and pecan pie, cranberry compote and popcorn ice cream.
Jones the Grocer, various locations across the UAE. Jones’s take-home holiday menu delivers on the favourites: whole roast turkeys, an array of accompaniments (duck fat roast potatoes, sausages wrapped in beef bacon, honey-glazed parsnips and carrots) and more, as well as festive food platters, canapes and both apple and pumpkin pies.
Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, The Address Hotel, Dubai. This New Orleans-style restaurant is keen to take the stress out of entertaining, so until December 25 you can order a full seasonal meal from its Takeaway Turkey Feast menu, which features turkey, homemade gravy and a selection of sides – think green beans with almond flakes, roasted Brussels sprouts, sweet potato casserole and bread stuffing – to pick up and eat at home.
The Mattar Farm Kitchen, Dubai. From now until Christmas, Hattem Mattar and his team will be producing game- changing smoked turkeys that you can enjoy at home over the festive period.
Nolu’s, The Galleria Mall, Maryah Island Abu Dhabi. With much of the menu focused on a California inspired “farm to table” approach (with Afghani influence), it only seems right that Nolu’s will be serving their take on the Thanksgiving spread, with a brunch at the Downtown location from 12pm to 4pm on Friday.
2025 Fifa Club World Cup groups
Group A: Palmeiras, Porto, Al Ahly, Inter Miami.
Group B: Paris Saint-Germain, Atletico Madrid, Botafogo, Seattle.
Group C: Bayern Munich, Auckland City, Boca Juniors, Benfica.
Group D: Flamengo, ES Tunis, Chelsea, (Leon banned).
Group E: River Plate, Urawa, Monterrey, Inter Milan.
Group F: Fluminense, Borussia Dortmund, Ulsan, Mamelodi Sundowns.
Group G: Manchester City, Wydad, Al Ain, Juventus.
Group H: Real Madrid, Al Hilal, Pachuca, Salzburg.
UAE jiu-jitsu squad
Men: Hamad Nawad and Khalid Al Balushi (56kg), Omar Al Fadhli and Saeed Al Mazroui (62kg), Taleb Al Kirbi and Humaid Al Kaabi (69kg), Mohammed Al Qubaisi and Saud Al Hammadi (70kg), Khalfan Belhol and Mohammad Haitham Radhi (85kg), Faisal Al Ketbi and Zayed Al Kaabi (94kg)
Women: Wadima Al Yafei and Mahra Al Hanaei (49kg), Bashayer Al Matrooshi and Hessa Al Shamsi (62kg)
WHAT IS A BLACK HOLE?
1. Black holes are objects whose gravity is so strong not even light can escape their pull
2. They can be created when massive stars collapse under their own weight
3. Large black holes can also be formed when smaller ones collide and merge
4. The biggest black holes lurk at the centre of many galaxies, including our own
5. Astronomers believe that when the universe was very young, black holes affected how galaxies formed
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Visit Abu Dhabi culinary team's top Emirati restaurants in Abu Dhabi
Yadoo’s House Restaurant & Cafe
For the karak and Yoodo's house platter with includes eggs, balaleet, khamir and chebab bread.
Golden Dallah
For the cappuccino, luqaimat and aseeda.
Al Mrzab Restaurant
For the shrimp murabian and Kuwaiti options including Kuwaiti machboos with kebab and spicy sauce.
Al Derwaza
For the fish hubul, regag bread, biryani and special seafood soup.
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COMPANY%20PROFILE
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The five pillars of Islam
Election pledges on migration
CDU: "Now is the time to control the German borders and enforce strict border rejections"
SPD: "Border closures and blanket rejections at internal borders contradict the spirit of a common area of freedom"
MATCH DETAILS
Liverpool 2
Wijnaldum (14), Oxlade-Chamberlain (52)
Genk 1
Samatta (40)
The rules on fostering in the UAE
A foster couple or family must:
- be Muslim, Emirati and be residing in the UAE
- not be younger than 25 years old
- not have been convicted of offences or crimes involving moral turpitude
- be free of infectious diseases or psychological and mental disorders
- have the ability to support its members and the foster child financially
- undertake to treat and raise the child in a proper manner and take care of his or her health and well-being
- A single, divorced or widowed Muslim Emirati female, residing in the UAE may apply to foster a child if she is at least 30 years old and able to support the child financially
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
Israel Palestine on Swedish TV 1958-1989
Director: Goran Hugo Olsson
Rating: 5/5
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
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Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
Kathryn Hawkes of House of Hawkes on being a good guest (because we’ve all had bad ones)
- Arrive with a thank you gift, or make sure you have one for your host by the time you leave.
- Offer to buy groceries, cook them a meal or take your hosts out for dinner.
- Help out around the house.
- Entertain yourself so that your hosts don’t feel that they constantly need to.
- Leave no trace of your stay – if you’ve borrowed a book, return it to where you found it.
- Offer to strip the bed before you go.
The White Lotus: Season three
Creator: Mike White
Starring: Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Natasha Rothwell
Rating: 4.5/5
Cryopreservation: A timeline
- Keyhole surgery under general anaesthetic
- Ovarian tissue surgically removed
- Tissue processed in a high-tech facility
- Tissue re-implanted at a time of the patient’s choosing
- Full hormone production regained within 4-6 months
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
