I was 10 years old when my dad built me a school bag. I say built because he made it from robust aluminium, pop-riveted into sections that, fully assembled, formed a box. As a final touch, he glued a green canvas skin over the metal. The contraption would have looked good strapped to the broad back of a Marine but, on me, it only added to the torment of being the child of a dedicated cheapskate who believed that the best way to keep your pennies in your wallet was to do it yourself.
Dad was terribly pleased with his effort, cobbled together with bits and pieces he had scrounged from his job at a government hospital workshop. "Perks," he would say, as he dumped bits of tin, stray nails and the occasional power tool on to the kitchen table. To Dad's eternal sorrow, I flatly refused to use The Box once I graduated to high school. By then it was battered and dented, and bits of aluminium showed through worn patches of canvas. So Dad had to spring for a real bag, made in a factory using machines, synthetic materials and sweat labour.
This example, and many, many more of Dad's efforts to save a buck at the expense of my dignity, drummed into me the idea that if there's a job that needs doing, I should do it myself. Even if the end result is a violation of all rules of aesthetics and I looked like such a dork that I ended up at my high school farewell dance with my sister. But, as a result of his training, I have spent years doing my own household repairs, wherever possible. And, although my wife will vigorously disagree, I think I have become rather good at it.
Since moving to Abu Dhabi, however, I've found myself tested to the extreme. In a city that is one vast construction site, DIY seems superfluous. There are more tradesmen, builders and engineers here than you can shake a stick at. Not to mention people who call themselves handymen. And yet, round up a random sample of those pasty-faced men wandering in flip flops and unflattering board shorts through Marina Mall on a Saturday, hand them a few bits of wood, and they could cobble together a space shuttle by lunchtime.
(Yes, I did say men. Because, for all the advances in gender equality, carrying the Y-chromosome has its burdens: when it comes down to it, we are still expected to squash spiders with bare feet and assemble an Ikea wall unit without reading the instructions.) My first local handyman experience came soon after moving into my apartment, in a building that, like so many others here, was about 15 minutes old. It smelled of fresh paint and labourers' lunch. And pretty much nothing worked as it should.
There were no curtain rails. In the kitchen, the space where the refrigerator would go was shaped to accommodate a pot plant. The air conditioner unit clanked and rumbled, and for some reason, would pipe the hard rock music the young English guy two floors below was so fond of, directly to my bedroom. This was a challenge. Usually, I would open my toolboxes, rummage through them for a while, then have a nap in the hope the problem would go away. But here, I had no toolbox. No tools. Not a stray Phillips-head or even a set of decent nail clippers. And with the building next door having a clear view into my bedroom, dozing was a communal experience. I desperately needed fabric between me and the outside world.
So I called a local curtain guy, a man named Abdul, whose business card I had found wedged in my door. I rang him up and he came to quote on draping my windows. It was a short conversation. Abdul was personable, efficient, armed with a 10-metre measuring tape, and wanted Dh1,750 to give my boudoir the privacy it deserved. Ushering him out I calculated how much newsprint I would need, taped four layers deep, to shield me from prying neighbours. But even as Abdul's protesting bleats vanished behind the closing door, I realised that I was not in Kansas any more - that I would have to get proper curtains.
Back home in South Africa this would not have been a problem, as I have a collection of electric impact and cordless drills, and drill bits forged from the finest Yankee steel, screwdrivers, measuring tape, hammers and everything else for the job. All I needed was a set of wall plugs. Only I had none of these. The Abu Dhabi branch of Ace Hardware in Al Mina has a good selection of hand tools, carrying brand names like Ryobi, Black & Decker and Bosch. I walked the aisles and fondled the gadgets, but could not help thinking that, for a one-off job, handing over Dh500 or more did not make a lot of sense.
I tried borrowing but I work in an industry of New Age Guys who believe that self-sufficiency means carrying your own tube of lip balm. I was offered a rotary hand drill, one of those things Ikea likes to foist on unsuspecting clients who mistakenly believe they can follow the instructions and assemble their purchases themselves. In despair, I considered renting from one of the tiny carpentry shops that sprinkle my neighbourhood, but even this drew a blank. A Pakistani tradesman, who looked as if he knew the value of a dirham, made a suggestion: "Go to Carrefour. Only Dh30 for drill."
And, by golly, he was right. There, in the hardware aisle, was an electric impact drill for 30 bucks. Now, I normally avoid chain-store and supermarket hardware, which is usually of poor quality. But I was so pleased that I grabbed the drill - a Sata, made in India - a set of bits, some 5mm Phillips-head screws and wall plugs. Curtains and rails I secured from - of course - Ikea. I believe the world is a better place thanks to a dour Scandinavian who has combined thrift with style and quality. Dad would have liked him.
I wrestled my purchases onto the bus and headed home. I had already taken the measurements with a Dh5 tape, bought at my local grocery. Its interpretation of centimetres was cavalier, even to the naked eye, but it met the sacred principle of "That Looks About Right", the DIY mantra. I needed approximation, not precision. The window was an impressive three-metre drop, by 1.5 metres wide. An immediate challenge was not having a ladder.
This I solved by balancing a chair on a small table. If I held the drill above my head I could just reach the top of the window frame. Outside the Cirque du Soleil this is not recommended but, luckily, this country is wonderfully free of health and safety bureaucrats. Still, it was especially precarious as I was forced to lean towards the window. All that stood between me and the inventory of Cruise Car Hire five floors below, was a pane of glass.
I climbed my tower and set to work. Luckily the wall was soft - worryingly so. The drill bit churned through the plaster mix and underlying breezeblock so fast I wondered if it would go right through to the other side. I would not like to be living in this structure for the long term; I give it one extraordinary act of nature and it will vanish in a heap of dust. The Sata soon started emitting colourful sparks from the side air vent. It occurred to me that, for the sake of saving a few dirhams, I risked becoming part of the Abu Dhabi Distrubution Company's power grid, and frying myself to oblivion.
The Sata also had difficulty in keeping the bit centred; it churned in an elliptical orbit, which would have been great for stirring a cake mix but not so good when I needed a perfectly round eight-millimetre hole. It soon became a 12mm-wide mess. The wall plugs fitted in loosely and jiggled around, which meant they were all but useless. I said a few words that roughly correspond with "oh dear", cautiously climbed off my tower and put down the now-smoking Sata. The smell of burnt plastic and dust tainted the air.
Time to get serious, I thought, and went in search of a solution. I found it at tiny hardware store just up from my apartment. It was filled with stuff - electric sanders, wrenches, spanners, cordless screwdrivers, and much more. A sort of grocery with gadgets. What I wanted was concrete. Good old-fashioned rock-gripping, Roman road concrete. That would fix the hole. Instead, I left with a bag of wall filler, as the sensible man behind the counter recommended. The final result, while not pretty, was functional. The plaster filler set firmly around the wall plugs. Once it had set I clambered for one last time up my tower and screwed the curtain brackets into place. The building may well fall down soon, but those curtain brackets will stay in place until Armageddon.
In the end my curtains cost Dh300, including the now-dead Sata drill, curtain rail and bracket, and other sundries. Dad would be so proud.
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
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Brief scoreline:
Manchester United 2
Rashford 28', Martial 72'
Watford 1
Doucoure 90'
Moon Music
Artist: Coldplay
Label: Parlophone/Atlantic
Number of tracks: 10
Rating: 3/5
Our legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants
Results
Ashraf Ghani 50.64 per cent
Abdullah Abdullah 39.52 per cent
Gulbuddin Hekmatyar 3.85 per cent
Rahmatullah Nabil 1.8 per cent
The alternatives
• Founded in 2014, Telr is a payment aggregator and gateway with an office in Silicon Oasis. It’s e-commerce entry plan costs Dh349 monthly (plus VAT). QR codes direct customers to an online payment page and merchants can generate payments through messaging apps.
• Business Bay’s Pallapay claims 40,000-plus active merchants who can invoice customers and receive payment by card. Fees range from 1.99 per cent plus Dh1 per transaction depending on payment method and location, such as online or via UAE mobile.
• Tap started in May 2013 in Kuwait, allowing Middle East businesses to bill, accept, receive and make payments online “easier, faster and smoother” via goSell and goCollect. It supports more than 10,000 merchants. Monthly fees range from US$65-100, plus card charges of 2.75-3.75 per cent and Dh1.2 per sale.
• 2checkout’s “all-in-one payment gateway and merchant account” accepts payments in 200-plus markets for 2.4-3.9 per cent, plus a Dh1.2-Dh1.8 currency conversion charge. The US provider processes online shop and mobile transactions and has 17,000-plus active digital commerce users.
• PayPal is probably the best-known online goods payment method - usually used for eBay purchases - but can be used to receive funds, providing everyone’s signed up. Costs from 2.9 per cent plus Dh1.2 per transaction.
In-demand jobs and monthly salaries
- Technology expert in robotics and automation: Dh20,000 to Dh40,000
- Energy engineer: Dh25,000 to Dh30,000
- Production engineer: Dh30,000 to Dh40,000
- Data-driven supply chain management professional: Dh30,000 to Dh50,000
- HR leader: Dh40,000 to Dh60,000
- Engineering leader: Dh30,000 to Dh55,000
- Project manager: Dh55,000 to Dh65,000
- Senior reservoir engineer: Dh40,000 to Dh55,000
- Senior drilling engineer: Dh38,000 to Dh46,000
- Senior process engineer: Dh28,000 to Dh38,000
- Senior maintenance engineer: Dh22,000 to Dh34,000
- Field engineer: Dh6,500 to Dh7,500
- Field supervisor: Dh9,000 to Dh12,000
- Field operator: Dh5,000 to Dh7,000
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
The specs
Engine: four-litre V6 and 3.5-litre V6 twin-turbo
Transmission: six-speed and 10-speed
Power: 271 and 409 horsepower
Torque: 385 and 650Nm
Price: from Dh229,900 to Dh355,000
NO OTHER LAND
Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal
Stars: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham
Rating: 3.5/5
The smuggler
Eldarir had arrived at JFK in January 2020 with three suitcases, containing goods he valued at $300, when he was directed to a search area.
Officers found 41 gold artefacts among the bags, including amulets from a funerary set which prepared the deceased for the afterlife.
Also found was a cartouche of a Ptolemaic king on a relief that was originally part of a royal building or temple.
The largest single group of items found in Eldarir’s cases were 400 shabtis, or figurines.
Khouli conviction
Khouli smuggled items into the US by making false declarations to customs about the country of origin and value of the items.
According to Immigration and Customs Enforcement, he provided “false provenances which stated that [two] Egyptian antiquities were part of a collection assembled by Khouli's father in Israel in the 1960s” when in fact “Khouli acquired the Egyptian antiquities from other dealers”.
He was sentenced to one year of probation, six months of home confinement and 200 hours of community service in 2012 after admitting buying and smuggling Egyptian antiquities, including coffins, funerary boats and limestone figures.
For sale
A number of other items said to come from the collection of Ezeldeen Taha Eldarir are currently or recently for sale.
Their provenance is described in near identical terms as the British Museum shabti: bought from Salahaddin Sirmali, "authenticated and appraised" by Hossen Rashed, then imported to the US in 1948.
- An Egyptian Mummy mask dating from 700BC-30BC, is on offer for £11,807 ($15,275) online by a seller in Mexico
- A coffin lid dating back to 664BC-332BC was offered for sale by a Colorado-based art dealer, with a starting price of $65,000
- A shabti that was on sale through a Chicago-based coin dealer, dating from 1567BC-1085BC, is up for $1,950
Founders: Abdulmajeed Alsukhan, Turki Bin Zarah and Abdulmohsen Albabtain.
Based: Riyadh
Offices: UAE, Vietnam and Germany
Founded: September, 2020
Number of employees: 70
Sector: FinTech, online payment solutions
Funding to date: $116m in two funding rounds
Investors: Checkout.com, Impact46, Vision Ventures, Wealth Well, Seedra, Khwarizmi, Hala Ventures, Nama Ventures and family offices
In numbers: PKK’s money network in Europe
Germany: PKK collectors typically bring in $18 million in cash a year – amount has trebled since 2010
Revolutionary tax: Investigators say about $2 million a year raised from ‘tax collection’ around Marseille
Extortion: Gunman convicted in 2023 of demanding $10,000 from Kurdish businessman in Stockholm
Drug trade: PKK income claimed by Turkish anti-drugs force in 2024 to be as high as $500 million a year
Denmark: PKK one of two terrorist groups along with Iranian separatists ASMLA to raise “two-digit million amounts”
Contributions: Hundreds of euros expected from typical Kurdish families and thousands from business owners
TV channel: Kurdish Roj TV accounts frozen and went bankrupt after Denmark fined it more than $1 million over PKK links in 2013
The Kingfisher Secret
Anonymous, Penguin Books
A MINECRAFT MOVIE
Director: Jared Hess
Starring: Jack Black, Jennifer Coolidge, Jason Momoa
Rating: 3/5
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League semi-final, second leg result:
Ajax 2-3 Tottenham
Tottenham advance on away goals rule after tie ends 3-3 on aggregate
Final: June 1, Madrid
Honeymoonish
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Test
Director: S Sashikanth
Cast: Nayanthara, Siddharth, Meera Jasmine, R Madhavan
Star rating: 2/5
The specs
Engine: 4.0-litre flat-six
Torque: 450Nm at 6,100rpm
Transmission: 7-speed PDK auto or 6-speed manual
Fuel economy, combined: 13.8L/100km
On sale: Available to order now
In the Restaurant: Society in Four Courses
Christoph Ribbat
Translated by Jamie Searle Romanelli
Pushkin Press
The White Lotus: Season three
Creator: Mike White
Starring: Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Natasha Rothwell
Rating: 4.5/5
The more serious side of specialty coffee
While the taste of beans and freshness of roast is paramount to the specialty coffee scene, so is sustainability and workers’ rights.
The bulk of genuine specialty coffee companies aim to improve on these elements in every stage of production via direct relationships with farmers. For instance, Mokha 1450 on Al Wasl Road strives to work predominantly with women-owned and -operated coffee organisations, including female farmers in the Sabree mountains of Yemen.
Because, as the boutique’s owner, Garfield Kerr, points out: “women represent over 90 per cent of the coffee value chain, but are woefully underrepresented in less than 10 per cent of ownership and management throughout the global coffee industry.”
One of the UAE’s largest suppliers of green (meaning not-yet-roasted) beans, Raw Coffee, is a founding member of the Partnership of Gender Equity, which aims to empower female coffee farmers and harvesters.
Also, globally, many companies have found the perfect way to recycle old coffee grounds: they create the perfect fertile soil in which to grow mushrooms.
Squid Game season two
Director: Hwang Dong-hyuk
Stars: Lee Jung-jae, Wi Ha-joon and Lee Byung-hun
Rating: 4.5/5
Company Fact Box
Company name/date started: Abwaab Technologies / September 2019
Founders: Hamdi Tabbaa, co-founder and CEO. Hussein Alsarabi, co-founder and CTO
Based: Amman, Jordan
Sector: Education Technology
Size (employees/revenue): Total team size: 65. Full-time employees: 25. Revenue undisclosed
Stage: early-stage startup
Investors: Adam Tech Ventures, Endure Capital, Equitrust, the World Bank-backed Innovative Startups SMEs Fund, a London investment fund, a number of former and current executives from Uber and Netflix, among others.
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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The rules on fostering in the UAE
A foster couple or family must:
- be Muslim, Emirati and be residing in the UAE
- not be younger than 25 years old
- not have been convicted of offences or crimes involving moral turpitude
- be free of infectious diseases or psychological and mental disorders
- have the ability to support its members and the foster child financially
- undertake to treat and raise the child in a proper manner and take care of his or her health and well-being
- A single, divorced or widowed Muslim Emirati female, residing in the UAE may apply to foster a child if she is at least 30 years old and able to support the child financially
Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
The Facility’s Versatility
Between the start of the 2020 IPL on September 20, and the end of the Pakistan Super League this coming Thursday, the Zayed Cricket Stadium has had an unprecedented amount of traffic.
Never before has a ground in this country – or perhaps anywhere in the world – had such a volume of major-match cricket.
And yet scoring has remained high, and Abu Dhabi has seen some classic encounters in every format of the game.
October 18, IPL, Kolkata Knight Riders tied with Sunrisers Hyderabad
The two playoff-chasing sides put on 163 apiece, before Kolkata went on to win the Super Over
January 8, ODI, UAE beat Ireland by six wickets
A century by CP Rizwan underpinned one of UAE’s greatest ever wins, as they chased 270 to win with an over to spare
February 6, T10, Northern Warriors beat Delhi Bulls by eight wickets
The final of the T10 was chiefly memorable for a ferocious over of fast bowling from Fidel Edwards to Nicholas Pooran
March 14, Test, Afghanistan beat Zimbabwe by six wickets
Eleven wickets for Rashid Khan, 1,305 runs scored in five days, and a last session finish
June 17, PSL, Islamabad United beat Peshawar Zalmi by 15 runs
Usman Khawaja scored a hundred as Islamabad posted the highest score ever by a Pakistan team in T20 cricket
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Tips to avoid getting scammed
1) Beware of cheques presented late on Thursday
2) Visit an RTA centre to change registration only after receiving payment
3) Be aware of people asking to test drive the car alone
4) Try not to close the sale at night
5) Don't be rushed into a sale
6) Call 901 if you see any suspicious behaviour
How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
From Europe to the Middle East, economic success brings wealth - and lifestyle diseases
A rise in obesity figures and the need for more public spending is a familiar trend in the developing world as western lifestyles are adopted.
One in five deaths around the world is now caused by bad diet, with obesity the fastest growing global risk. A high body mass index is also the top cause of metabolic diseases relating to death and disability in Kuwait, Qatar and Oman – and second on the list in Bahrain.
In Britain, heart disease, lung cancer and Alzheimer’s remain among the leading causes of death, and people there are spending more time suffering from health problems.
The UK is expected to spend $421.4 billion on healthcare by 2040, up from $239.3 billion in 2014.
And development assistance for health is talking about the financial aid given to governments to support social, environmental development of developing countries.
Specs
Engine: Dual-motor all-wheel-drive electric
Range: Up to 610km
Power: 905hp
Torque: 985Nm
Price: From Dh439,000
Available: Now
PRESIDENTS CUP
Draw for Presidents Cup fourball matches on Thursday (Internationals first mention). All times UAE:
02.32am (Thursday): Marc Leishman/Joaquin Niemann v Tiger Woods/Justin Thomas
02.47am (Thursday): Adam Hadwin/Im Sung-jae v Xander Schauffele/Patrick Cantlay
03.02am (Thursday): Adam Scott/An Byeong-hun v Bryson DeChambeau/Tony Finau
03.17am (Thursday): Hideki Matsuyama/CT Pan v Webb Simpson/Patrick Reed
03.32am (Thursday): Abraham Ancer/Louis Oosthuizen v Dustin Johnson/Gary Woodland
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
Started: 2021
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
Based: Tunisia
Sector: Water technology
Number of staff: 22
Investment raised: $4 million
