Playing at playing the stockmarket is little more than an educational laugh; it's a fun way of demonstrating that, in times of economic uncertainty, chance plays as large a part as wisdom when it comes to managing personal finances. I can "win" or "lose" thousands of pounds but no-one gets hurt in the process and I still get to sleep soundly at night. This week, however, I was reminded that in the real world global financial uncertainty is hurting real people and keeping them up at night.
The other day I found myself chattering inanely to a woman for whom the whole premise of this column was far from amusing. Like me, "Sally" and her husband know very little about the stock market. Also like me, they are now "playing" it, but far from doing so for fun they are trading as though their life savings depend on it. It was just over a year ago that one of them received one of those telephone calls, the product of a regulatory system that frowns on cold-calling but in the process encourages the altogether creepier business of clammy-calling - marketing by "recommendation".
Companies persist with this tactic for the same reason that some guys flirt with dozens of women: sooner or later, someone says yes to a date. Sally and her husband are intelligent, hard-working streetwise professionals. They would not fall for your average Ponzi scheme. What they are, however, is hostage to their small fortune of £100,000 (Dh564,854), the sum total of the savings they each brought to the relationship plus the cash they've stashed away in the UAE - and, in a time of financial uncertainty, it was a reliance that rendered them less than confident and vulnerable.
"Financially, we are both very risk-averse," Sally told me. "I paid off my student debt within a year of graduating; we always pay off our credit card each month." Their financial objective is clear: "We want to settle back home and raise a family and the smaller our mortgage is the better. That was the whole point of coming here. We were happy to have our money in a simple bank account, earning 2 or 3 per cent interest."
They would certainly be happy if that was the case now. Instead, they agreed to meet a couple of salesmen from the company who skillfully picked apart their certainty that they were doing the right thing with their money. "They seemed caring and reasonable and were very persuasive. They made us feel like stupid people who were keeping their money under the mattress and said our money should be working for us."
All this, of course, while the financial world was being rocked to its very foundations. Those sales guys should get an award (though probably not any kind of medal of honour). Their money - minus, of course, the up-front, win or lose percentage the company sliced right off the top - would be invested safely, the risk spread over many companies, sectors and even countries. They could expect average annual growth of between 7 and 14 per cent.
Quite possibly, that was true, but the key word there is "average". The average gain on the Standard and Poor's 500 between 1995 and 1999, for example, was a pulse-quickening 25 per cent, but if you had piled in 2000 you would have suffered three continuous years of losses and seen every dollar shrivel to 58 cents. The stock market, in other words, is no place for dreams or nest eggs. They were advised not to follow the progress of their portfolio too closely. Luckily, they ignored the advice - and panic set in: "Everything was going down. My husband was on the website every day. Every time we looked we'd lost something else."
In fact, within just a few months they lost £8,000. The one redeeming feature of the package they had been sold was that there was an over-ride facility: they could intervene and buy and sell on their own account and this is exactly what they did. "We felt like we'd been taken for a ride," said Sally. "The thought of writing off all that money made me feel physically sick. We decided to monitor it every day and sell every time something went up."
In short, they became reluctant day traders - and, despite stock-market experience and insight on a par with mine, by sticking to their simple but effective strategy they immediately began to have some success. Since May they have clawed back £4,000. "I am determined we will at least break even," said Sally. "We might even make two or three thousand profit." Like they would have had they left the money in the bank.
But that will be the end of their trading career. "We got our fingers burnt. From now on the money is staying in the bank; we'll count ourselves lucky to have 2 or 3 per cent interest and no sleepless nights." And so back, insensitively, to the fun world of make-believe investment. My technique is the opposite to Sally's. Every time a stock flickers downwards, I sell it, and put the money into the one that's doing best.
This week it was the turn of the Man Group to take a hike. I had bought 934 shares at 211.4p each on July 20. Down to 206.9p per share, this week I bailed out for a total of £1,924.95, shaving £73.93 off my original investment of £1,998.88. I used the money to buy another 1,500 shares in Old Mutual, which continues to go from strength to strength. This is the fourth time I've bought into this stock, which since July 20 has risen steadily from 111.4p per share to 126.3p.
The rest of the portfolio is looking good - blue ticks across the board - but what that snapshot disguises is that, since my initial investments on June 13, although my portfolio overall has swung wildly from £600 profit to £400 loss, right now the pendulum is more or less back in the middle. In short, I am currently a mere £37.96 better off now than I was when it all began on June 13. What I lack, of course, is motivation. Maybe I should get Sally to make my moves.
@Email:jgornall@thenational.ae
COMPANY%20PROFILE%20
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THREE
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RESULTS
Catchweight 82kg
Piotr Kuberski (POL) beat Ahmed Saeb (IRQ) by decision.
Women’s bantamweight
Corinne Laframboise (CAN) beat Cornelia Holm (SWE) by unanimous decision.
Welterweight
Omar Hussein (PAL) beat Vitalii Stoian (UKR) by unanimous decision.
Welterweight
Josh Togo (LEB) beat Ali Dyusenov (UZB) by unanimous decision.
Flyweight
Isaac Pimentel (BRA) beat Delfin Nawen (PHI) TKO round-3.
Catchweight 80kg
Seb Eubank (GBR) beat Emad Hanbali (SYR) KO round 1.
Lightweight
Mohammad Yahya (UAE) beat Ramadan Noaman (EGY) TKO round 2.
Lightweight
Alan Omer (GER) beat Reydon Romero (PHI) submission 1.
Welterweight
Juho Valamaa (FIN) beat Ahmed Labban (LEB) by unanimous decision.
Featherweight
Elias Boudegzdame (ALG) beat Austin Arnett (USA) by unanimous decision.
Super heavyweight
Maciej Sosnowski (POL) beat Ibrahim El Sawi (EGY) by submission round 1.
Honeymoonish
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Skewed figures
In the village of Mevagissey in southwest England the housing stock has doubled in the last century while the number of residents is half the historic high. The village's Neighbourhood Development Plan states that 26% of homes are holiday retreats. Prices are high, averaging around £300,000, £50,000 more than the Cornish average of £250,000. The local average wage is £15,458.
Election pledges on migration
CDU: "Now is the time to control the German borders and enforce strict border rejections"
SPD: "Border closures and blanket rejections at internal borders contradict the spirit of a common area of freedom"
Test
Director: S Sashikanth
Cast: Nayanthara, Siddharth, Meera Jasmine, R Madhavan
Star rating: 2/5
Living in...
This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.
Winners
Best Men's Player of the Year: Kylian Mbappe (PSG)
Maradona Award for Best Goal Scorer of the Year: Robert Lewandowski (Bayern Munich)
TikTok Fans’ Player of the Year: Robert Lewandowski
Top Goal Scorer of All Time: Cristiano Ronaldo (Manchester United)
Best Women's Player of the Year: Alexia Putellas (Barcelona)
Best Men's Club of the Year: Chelsea
Best Women's Club of the Year: Barcelona
Best Defender of the Year: Leonardo Bonucci (Juventus/Italy)
Best Goalkeeper of the Year: Gianluigi Donnarumma (PSG/Italy)
Best Coach of the Year: Roberto Mancini (Italy)
Best National Team of the Year: Italy
Best Agent of the Year: Federico Pastorello
Best Sporting Director of the Year: Txiki Begiristain (Manchester City)
Player Career Award: Ronaldinho
The National's picks
4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
9.30pm: Forever Young
Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
If you go
The flights
Etihad and Emirates fly direct from the UAE to Chicago from Dh5,215 return including taxes.
The hotels
Recommended hotels include the Intercontinental Chicago Magnificent Mile, located in an iconic skyscraper complete with a 1929 Olympic-size swimming pool from US$299 (Dh1,100) per night including taxes, and the Omni Chicago Hotel, an excellent value downtown address with elegant art deco furnishings and an excellent in-house restaurant. Rooms from US$239 (Dh877) per night including taxes.
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
FIXTURES
All games 6pm UAE on Sunday:
Arsenal v Watford
Burnley v Brighton
Chelsea v Wolves
Crystal Palace v Tottenham
Everton v Bournemouth
Leicester v Man United
Man City v Norwich
Newcastle v Liverpool
Southampton v Sheffield United
West Ham v Aston Villa
Specs
Engine: 3.0L twin-turbo V6
Gearbox: 10-speed automatic
Power: 405hp at 5,500rpm
Torque: 562Nm at 3,000rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 11.2L/100km
Price: From Dh292,845 (Reserve); from Dh320,145 (Presidential)
On sale: Now
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
The specs: 2018 Dodge Durango SRT
Price, base / as tested: Dh259,000
Engine: 6.4-litre V8
Power: 475hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque: 640Nm @ 4,300rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed automatic
Fuel consumption, combined: 7.7L / 100km
The bio
Favourite book: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Favourite travel destination: Maldives and south of France
Favourite pastime: Family and friends, meditation, discovering new cuisines
Favourite Movie: Joker (2019). I didn’t like it while I was watching it but then afterwards I loved it. I loved the psychology behind it.
Favourite Author: My father for sure
Favourite Artist: Damien Hurst
Managing the separation process
- Choose your nursery carefully in the first place
- Relax – and hopefully your child will follow suit
- Inform the staff in advance of your child’s likes and dislikes.
- If you need some extra time to talk to the teachers, make an appointment a few days in advance, rather than attempting to chat on your child’s first day
- The longer you stay, the more upset your child will become. As difficult as it is, walk away. Say a proper goodbye and reassure your child that you will be back
- Be patient. Your child might love it one day and hate it the next
- Stick at it. Don’t give up after the first day or week. It takes time for children to settle into a new routine.And, finally, don’t feel guilty.
The White Lotus: Season three
Creator: Mike White
Starring: Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Natasha Rothwell
Rating: 4.5/5
Real estate tokenisation project
Dubai launched the pilot phase of its real estate tokenisation project last month.
The initiative focuses on converting real estate assets into digital tokens recorded on blockchain technology and helps in streamlining the process of buying, selling and investing, the Dubai Land Department said.
Dubai’s real estate tokenisation market is projected to reach Dh60 billion ($16.33 billion) by 2033, representing 7 per cent of the emirate’s total property transactions, according to the DLD.