A bloke turns his back on the market for a week, taking a well-earned Eid break, and look what happens.
But in spite of financial journals of every colour tracing a path from Dubai to the next financial Armageddon, the markets have been remarkably cheerful. Don't they read the newspapers?
Clearly not, because the US closed comfortably green yesterday, and judging by the winking blue numbers that indicate the Dow future on my screen, it aims to do the same again tonight.
Asian markets, too, showed their economic illiteracy by closing in positive territory; India's Sensex, which took a pounding on Monday, finished up 1.7 per cent. London, Paris and Frankfurt are also looking pretty darned perky.
Our markets are having another grim day, which is hardly a surprise, although DP World has gained 6.5 per cent on the Nasdaq Dubai. Its free pass on parent Dubai World's restructuring is providing a spot of cheer on a gloomy bourse.
Gold is continuing its run, but market geeks - the guys who base their trades on charts instead of fundamentals - warn that it is moving awfully far from from support. It has traded above $1.000 twice before. In March 2008 and then last February. On both occasions it
lasted only a day or two.
What they are watching now is not for further gains, but what gold does when it pulls back, as sooner or later it must. Provided support of just under $1.000 holds, the next technical target is $1.275.
hall of shame
SUNDERLAND 2002-03
No one has ended a Premier League season quite like Sunderland. They lost each of their final 15 games, taking no points after January. They ended up with 19 in total, sacking managers Peter Reid and Howard Wilkinson and losing 3-1 to Charlton when they scored three own goals in eight minutes.
SUNDERLAND 2005-06
Until Derby came along, Sunderland’s total of 15 points was the Premier League’s record low. They made it until May and their final home game before winning at the Stadium of Light while they lost a joint record 29 of their 38 league games.
HUDDERSFIELD 2018-19
Joined Derby as the only team to be relegated in March. No striker scored until January, while only two players got more assists than goalkeeper Jonas Lossl. The mid-season appointment Jan Siewert was to end his time as Huddersfield manager with a 5.3 per cent win rate.
ASTON VILLA 2015-16
Perhaps the most inexplicably bad season, considering they signed Idrissa Gueye and Adama Traore and still only got 17 points. Villa won their first league game, but none of the next 19. They ended an abominable campaign by taking one point from the last 39 available.
FULHAM 2018-19
Terrible in different ways. Fulham’s total of 26 points is not among the lowest ever but they contrived to get relegated after spending over £100 million (Dh457m) in the transfer market. Much of it went on defenders but they only kept two clean sheets in their first 33 games.
LA LIGA: Sporting Gijon, 13 points in 1997-98.
BUNDESLIGA: Tasmania Berlin, 10 points in 1965-66