Nick Donaldson / Getty
Nick Donaldson / Getty
Nick Donaldson / Getty
Nick Donaldson / Getty

The Debt Panel: 'My daughter is overspending on her debit card'


Felicity Glover
  • English
  • Arabic

I have a teenage daughter and recently gave her a prepaid debit card. Although there are online spending and cash withdrawal limits on the card, I have noticed that my daughter is going overboard with her spending.

Initially, I had set her a spending budget of Dh1,000 ($272) per month. But she appears to have no control over her spending and is demanding that I increase her pocket money every month. She refuses to take no for an answer.

I am struggling to increase her allowance as my monthly salary is Dh20,000. We are a family of four and have other financial responsibilities.

I had hoped the prepaid card would teach her money management skills such as saving, budgeting and spending wisely.

From her transaction history, she seems to be spending most of the money on buying things online through buy now, pay later schemes to get around the spending limit. But now I am worried that she is also getting into debt.

How can I warn her of the perils of overspending and bring her back on track financially? KH, Dubai

Debt panellist 1: Steve Cronin, founder of DeadSimpleSaving.com

It is better to learn about controlling your spending when you are a teenager with few responsibilities than when you are an adult with many.

Teenagers like to explore boundaries and your daughter may get upset by your “unreasonable” limits on her life, especially so if all her friends have lots of pocket money and she becomes jealous or even embarrassed by not being able to keep up with them.

However, this is an important lesson, and you can teach it well if you are understanding and reasonable but also firm.

There is added pressure given that you cannot afford to give her more money. But even if you could afford to give her Dh50,000 per month, your approach would not have to change if you decided that Dh1,000 was the appropriate amount for her.

Your financial instincts are good. A prepaid card is a good way to teach her about saving and budgeting. Also, her clever BNPL tactics are inevitably going to end in tears and problems.

Kicking the financial can down the road, which BNPL allows you to do, always tempts people to buy more now than they can afford.

Is she mature enough to buy nothing in the months when she has to use all her pocket money to pay off previous purchases? Will she even have enough pocket money to meet the BNPL payment deadlines? I doubt it.

So, she needs to learn this particular lesson now rather than in later life. Also, the card is likely under your guarantee, so you will ultimately be liable for any debts incurred.

Clear some time and space in both your diaries and take your daughter for a walk. Not too many distractions, no phones allowed. These are the messages you need to get across:

1. You understand that it can be difficult to get by on Dh1,000 per month when there are so many great things to buy and do, especially when her friends have more pocket money or their parents buy them whatever they want. What problems could her friends have when they are adults if their parents always bought them everything without any kind of budget or planning?

2. You have set her pocket money at Dh1,000 for two very good reasons. First, she is part of a family of four people and you earn Dh20,000 per month. You spend A on rent, B on education, C on activities, D on food, E on cars and F on saving for the future. You might as well be honest with her, so she can understand family budgeting. Therefore, you can only afford to give her Dh1,000 per month right now.

3. More importantly, you are giving her a prepaid debit card with Dh1,000 on it, as an exercise in trust and responsibility. You trust her with the card, and trust involves behaving the right way even when her parents aren’t around. She has to demonstrate that she can plan her spending, set a budget for things she wants to buy, say no to other things and, most importantly, not get into debt. If she successfully demonstrates these skills, you will consider raising her allowance when you can afford it. Or you will pay for some categories of items yourself.

4. She needs to learn that she can afford anything but not everything. Making hard choices and planning ahead is a big part of life.

5. BNPL is not an acceptable way to manage money – for anyone. If she did use it, how would she make the later payments? Would she really be willing to stop any other spending? Does she think the payment date will never arrive? It’s easy to live in the moment.

6. If you see any more BNPL purchases on her card statement (yes, you will be looking until she has established that you can trust her), you will cancel the card immediately and her pocket money will be halved.

7. She has to now come up with a plan for how she will cover the existing BNPL payments for items she has already purchased. You expect to see a schedule of all the payments due and whether they can be covered by her pocket money in the coming months.

Don’t expect to be “Popular Parent” after this talk. But you will have given your daughter a very clear and important lesson. Good luck!

Debt panellist 2: Carol Glynn, founder of Conscious Finance Coaching

Dealing with a teenager's overspending can be challenging, but there are steps you can take to address the issue and teach your daughter about financial responsibility.

Simply giving her a prepaid card without communication of boundaries and teaching her basic financial literacy will not teach her good money management skills.

She needs to learn the basics of money management from you or from reliable books or teachers and then a card will help her practise the money management skills she has learnt.

It's great that you want your daughter to have these skills, and the card is a good way to learn about how money works. I have some suggestions that can help you and your daughter further set her up for financial success.

First, sit down with your daughter and have an open, honest conversation about her spending habits and your concerns.

Explain to her the importance of managing money wisely, the consequences of overspending and the limitations of your family's budget.

Emphasise the need to prioritise needs over wants and the value of saving for the future. Also, ask her why she is spending in the way she does.

Setting clear expectations is very important. Reinforce the importance of the initial spending limit you set and explain that exceeding it is not an option.

Watch: The debt cycle

It's also important to establish clear consequences for overspending, such as reducing her allowance or temporarily suspending the use of the prepaid card, if necessary.

Educate her about financial responsibility by helping your daughter to understand the concepts of budgeting, saving, and financial planning.

Teach her how to create a budget by setting aside money for different categories, such as savings, entertainment, and personal expenses, and also encourage her to track her spending and review it regularly to gain insight into her financial habits.

One area I see teenagers struggle with when they first get access to money is delayed gratification.

Discuss the concept of delayed gratification with your daughter. Encourage her to save up for larger purchases rather than relying on BNPL schemes and explain the potential risks and consequences of accumulating debt.

Many adults don't fully understand BNPL schemes so don't assume she knows what she has signed up to and how the repayments work.

Potentially, the most important thing you can do is to lead by example. Show your daughter responsible financial behaviour by demonstrating good money management skills yourself.

Let her see how you handle your own finances, make thoughtful purchasing decisions and prioritise saving.

If she is still eager to have a higher allowance, encourage her to explore opportunities to earn money, such as part-time jobs like babysitting, dog-walking, or other paid activities.

This can provide a valuable lesson in the value of money and the effort required to earn it.

You could also consider alternative options to the prepaid card that may be better suited to your daughter's needs and help enforce spending limits more effectively.

Let her see how you handle your own finances, make thoughtful purchasing decisions and prioritise saving
Carol Glynn,
founder of Conscious Finance Coaching

For example, you could give her a set amount of cash each week and let her manage her expenses within that limit.

Prepaid cards are convenient and have benefits, such as expense tracking, but nothing beats starting out with having cash as a tangible way to learn money management skills.

This will also remove access to BNPL schemes. Introduce your daughter to books, articles, or online resources that focus on personal finance and financial literacy for teenagers.

This can help her to develop a better understanding of money management and make more informed decisions.

Remember, addressing overspending requires patience and persistence. It may take time for your daughter to grasp the importance of financial responsibility.

Be supportive, but also firm in setting and enforcing boundaries to help her develop healthy spending habits.

Debt panellist 3: Marilyn Pinto, founder of KFI Global

First of all, I empathise with you. It’s really hard to get through our teenagers on money matters, particularly because neither they nor we have had any formal training around money.

Getting your daughter a prepaid debit card isn’t going to do much to teach her any money management skills.

It’s important for her to first learn to develop a proper money mindset, which will set up a good foundation on which to then overlay other skills, such as saving, spending mindfully and budgeting appropriately.

You need to set very clear and non-negotiable criteria around her spending, such as not enrolling for any BNPL schemes. Getting an allowance is a privilege, not a right and she needs to prove she’s mature enough to be given this.

You will need to have some serious conversations with her around your concerns and worries for the family.

In my experience, if done properly, most teenagers are quick to rise to the occasion and help out financially where they can, particularly if that means being more careful with their spending.

Confide, don’t lecture, because teenagers tend to switch off when we get into lecture mode. Speak honestly about what you’re worried about and I am quite sure your daughter will begin to see things differently.

Ensure that she gets some proper financial education training before you hand over an allowance, just like we wouldn’t let our kids drive without enrolling them for driving classes.

This is important as it would ensure that she understands not just the mechanics of how money works but also the psychology behind advertising campaigns and cognitive biases around money.

The Debt Panel is a weekly column to help readers tackle their debts more effectively. If you have a question for the panel, write to pf@thenationalnews.com

What is Folia?

Prince Khaled bin Alwaleed bin Talal's new plant-based menu will launch at Four Seasons hotels in Dubai this November. A desire to cater to people looking for clean, healthy meals beyond green salad is what inspired Prince Khaled and American celebrity chef Matthew Kenney to create Folia. The word means "from the leaves" in Latin, and the exclusive menu offers fine plant-based cuisine across Four Seasons properties in Los Angeles, Bahrain and, soon, Dubai.

Kenney specialises in vegan cuisine and is the founder of Plant Food Wine and 20 other restaurants worldwide. "I’ve always appreciated Matthew’s work," says the Saudi royal. "He has a singular culinary talent and his approach to plant-based dining is prescient and unrivalled. I was a fan of his long before we established our professional relationship."

Folia first launched at The Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills in July 2018. It is available at the poolside Cabana Restaurant and for in-room dining across the property, as well as in its private event space. The food is vibrant and colourful, full of fresh dishes such as the hearts of palm ceviche with California fruit, vegetables and edible flowers; green hearb tacos filled with roasted squash and king oyster barbacoa; and a savoury coconut cream pie with macadamia crust.

In March 2019, the Folia menu reached Gulf shores, as it was introduced at the Four Seasons Hotel Bahrain Bay, where it is served at the Bay View Lounge. Next, on Tuesday, November 1 – also known as World Vegan Day – it will come to the UAE, to the Four Seasons Resort Dubai at Jumeirah Beach and the Four Seasons DIFC, both properties Prince Khaled has spent "considerable time at and love". 

There are also plans to take Folia to several more locations throughout the Middle East and Europe.

While health-conscious diners will be attracted to the concept, Prince Khaled is careful to stress Folia is "not meant for a specific subset of customers. It is meant for everyone who wants a culinary experience without the negative impact that eating out so often comes with."

The specs

Engine: 1.5-litre turbo

Power: 181hp

Torque: 230Nm

Transmission: 6-speed automatic

Starting price: Dh79,000

On sale: Now

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What can victims do?

Always use only regulated platforms

Stop all transactions and communication on suspicion

Save all evidence (screenshots, chat logs, transaction IDs)

Report to local authorities

Warn others to prevent further harm

Courtesy: Crystal Intelligence

Company%20Profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Cargoz%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EDate%20started%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20January%202022%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Premlal%20Pullisserry%20and%20Lijo%20Antony%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Dubai%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20staff%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2030%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20stage%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Seed%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The%20specs
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UAE - India ties

The UAE is India’s third-largest trade partner after the US and China

Annual bilateral trade between India and the UAE has crossed US$ 60 billion

The UAE is the fourth-largest exporter of crude oil for India

Indians comprise the largest community with 3.3 million residents in the UAE

Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi first visited the UAE in August 2015

His visit on August 23-24 will be the third in four years

Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed, Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi and Deputy Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces, visited India in February 2016

Sheikh Mohamed was the chief guest at India’s Republic Day celebrations in January 2017

Modi will visit Bahrain on August 24-25

The specs

Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cyl turbo

Power: 247hp at 6,500rpm

Torque: 370Nm from 1,500-3,500rpm

Transmission: 10-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 7.8L/100km

Price: from Dh94,900

On sale: now

The burning issue

The internal combustion engine is facing a watershed moment – major manufacturer Volvo is to stop producing petroleum-powered vehicles by 2021 and countries in Europe, including the UK, have vowed to ban their sale before 2040. The National takes a look at the story of one of the most successful technologies of the last 100 years and how it has impacted life in the UAE. 

Read part four: an affection for classic cars lives on

Read part three: the age of the electric vehicle begins

Read part one: how cars came to the UAE

 

Cinco in numbers

Dh3.7 million

The estimated cost of Victoria Swarovski’s gem-encrusted Michael Cinco wedding gown

46

The number, in kilograms, that Swarovski’s wedding gown weighed.

1,000

The hours it took to create Cinco’s vermillion petal gown, as seen in his atelier [note, is the one he’s playing with in the corner of a room]

50

How many looks Cinco has created in a new collection to celebrate Ballet Philippines’ 50th birthday

3,000

The hours needed to create the butterfly gown worn by Aishwarya Rai to the 2018 Cannes Film Festival.

1.1 million

The number of followers that Michael Cinco’s Instagram account has garnered.

Avatar%3A%20The%20Way%20of%20Water
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EJames%20Cameron%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESam%20Worthington%2C%20Zoe%20Saldana%2C%20Sigourney%20Weaver%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E3.5%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Bangladesh tour of Pakistan

January 24 – First T20, Lahore

January 25 – Second T20, Lahore

January 27 – Third T20, Lahore

February 7-11 – First Test, Rawalpindi

April 3 – One-off ODI, Karachi

April 5-9 – Second Test, Karachi

ELIO

Starring: Yonas Kibreab, Zoe Saldana, Brad Garrett

Directors: Madeline Sharafian, Domee Shi, Adrian Molina

Rating: 4/5

Company%20profile
%3Cp%3EName%3A%20Tabby%3Cbr%3EFounded%3A%20August%202019%3B%20platform%20went%20live%20in%20February%202020%3Cbr%3EFounder%2FCEO%3A%20Hosam%20Arab%2C%20co-founder%3A%20Daniil%20Barkalov%3Cbr%3EBased%3A%20Dubai%2C%20UAE%3Cbr%3ESector%3A%20Payments%3Cbr%3ESize%3A%2040-50%20employees%3Cbr%3EStage%3A%20Series%20A%3Cbr%3EInvestors%3A%20Arbor%20Ventures%2C%20Mubadala%20Capital%2C%20Wamda%20Capital%2C%20STV%2C%20Raed%20Ventures%2C%20Global%20Founders%20Capital%2C%20JIMCO%2C%20Global%20Ventures%2C%20Venture%20Souq%2C%20Outliers%20VC%2C%20MSA%20Capital%2C%20HOF%20and%20AB%20Accelerator.%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
CONFIRMED%20LINE-UP
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MATCH INFO

What: 2006 World Cup quarter-final
When: July 1
Where: Gelsenkirchen Stadium, Gelsenkirchen, Germany

Result:
England 0 Portugal 0
(Portugal win 3-1 on penalties)

Januzaj's club record

Manchester United 50 appearances, 5 goals

Borussia Dortmund (loan) 6 appearances, 0 goals

Sunderland (loan) 25 appearances, 0 goals

SPEC%20SHEET%3A%20NOTHING%20PHONE%20(2A)
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How to vote

Canadians living in the UAE can register to vote online and be added to the International Register of Electors.

They'll then be sent a special ballot voting kit by mail either to their address, the Consulate General of Canada to the UAE in Dubai or The Embassy of Canada in Abu Dhabi

Registered voters mark the ballot with their choice and must send it back by 6pm Eastern time on October 21 (2am next Friday) 

'Doctor Strange in the Multiverse Of Madness' 

   

 

Director: Sam Raimi

 

Cast: Benedict Cumberbatch, Elizabeth Olsen, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Benedict Wong, Xochitl Gomez, Michael Stuhlbarg and Rachel McAdams

 

Rating: 3/5

 
Know before you go
  • Jebel Akhdar is a two-hour drive from Muscat airport or a six-hour drive from Dubai. It’s impossible to visit by car unless you have a 4x4. Phone ahead to the hotel to arrange a transfer.
  • If you’re driving, make sure your insurance covers Oman.
  • By air: Budget airlines Air Arabia, Flydubai and SalamAir offer direct routes to Muscat from the UAE.
  • Tourists from the Emirates (UAE nationals not included) must apply for an Omani visa online before arrival at evisa.rop.gov.om. The process typically takes several days.
  • Flash floods are probable due to the terrain and a lack of drainage. Always check the weather before venturing into any canyons or other remote areas and identify a plan of escape that includes high ground, shelter and parking where your car won’t be overtaken by sudden downpours.

 

How much do leading UAE’s UK curriculum schools charge for Year 6?
  1. Nord Anglia International School (Dubai) – Dh85,032
  2. Kings School Al Barsha (Dubai) – Dh71,905
  3. Brighton College Abu Dhabi - Dh68,560
  4. Jumeirah English Speaking School (Dubai) – Dh59,728
  5. Gems Wellington International School – Dubai Branch – Dh58,488
  6. The British School Al Khubairat (Abu Dhabi) - Dh54,170
  7. Dubai English Speaking School – Dh51,269

*Annual tuition fees covering the 2024/2025 academic year

Ferrari 12Cilindri specs

Engine: naturally aspirated 6.5-liter V12

Power: 819hp

Torque: 678Nm at 7,250rpm

Price: From Dh1,700,000

Available: Now

Types of fraud

Phishing: Fraudsters send an unsolicited email that appears to be from a financial institution or online retailer. The hoax email requests that you provide sensitive information, often by clicking on to a link leading to a fake website.

Smishing: The SMS equivalent of phishing. Fraudsters falsify the telephone number through “text spoofing,” so that it appears to be a genuine text from the bank.

Vishing: The telephone equivalent of phishing and smishing. Fraudsters may pose as bank staff, police or government officials. They may persuade the consumer to transfer money or divulge personal information.

SIM swap: Fraudsters duplicate the SIM of your mobile number without your knowledge or authorisation, allowing them to conduct financial transactions with your bank.

Identity theft: Someone illegally obtains your confidential information, through various ways, such as theft of your wallet, bank and utility bill statements, computer intrusion and social networks.

Prize scams: Fraudsters claiming to be authorised representatives from well-known organisations (such as Etisalat, du, Dubai Shopping Festival, Expo2020, Lulu Hypermarket etc) contact victims to tell them they have won a cash prize and request them to share confidential banking details to transfer the prize money.

* Nada El Sawy

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Updated: July 02, 2023, 4:14 PM`