Your sibling asked you to cover their rent for a couple of months while they were between jobs. Or maybe you lent a friend a few hundred bucks for a car repair they couldn’t afford.
You’d do anything to help those you love. And you did. But what should you do when they don’t pay you back? Consider these options.
Gently approach the subject
Asking a friend or family member to give back money they owe may feel uncomfortable. But sometimes a simple reminder is all it takes to jump-start debt repayment.
Before reaching out, think back to the discussions you had when you offered the money: did you make it clear that this was a loan, not a gift? Did you confirm payment terms and a deadline? Did you get the details in writing?
Framing the conversation around facts rather than your feelings, or unspoken opinions, can prevent confusion.
No matter the context, bring up the issue calmly (and privately) and avoid making assumptions. Using harsh or accusatory language can not only strain the relationship, but it can also make your loved one less likely to pay up.
“What we have to do is create space for that individual to come out of a shame mindset and perspective, and become less avoidant to engage in a healthy conversation,” says Michael Thomas, an accredited financial counsellor who teaches in the University of Georgia’s financial planning programme.
Acknowledge what’s happening in your loved one’s life and be upfront about your own situation. Then, you can discuss how to move forward.
“I think the best approach is just to come at it with a lot of empathy and understanding that you’re both in it together,” says Thomas Nitzsche, director of media and brand at Money Management International, a non-profit financial counselling and education service.
Make or revise a payment plan
Ideally, before lending them money, you’d have made a loan agreement outlining how much the borrower owes, how they’ll pay, when payment is due and what to do if they can’t pay.
If not, or if the person can’t meet the original terms, hash out a new plan. Consider extending their deadline or allowing them to make smaller payments.
Setting up automated payments through a peer-to-peer platform can make it easier to get repaid over time, Mr Thomas says.
A traditional payment plan isn’t the only option. Perhaps your friend or relative could chip away at the balance by periodically covering one of your bills, Mr Nitzsche says, or paying for a meal.
If your loved one is struggling to come up with cash, perhaps they can repay you with service.
“Suppose the lender needs a family room painted or new faucets installed. A borrower with those skills might be happy to work off the debt,” lawyer Cara O’Neill, a legal editor at Nolo, a self-help legal website, says.
Forgive the debt
Working out an arrangement can be stressful, especially if your loved one doesn’t come through. Waiving the debt could be the best move for your peace of mind and relationship.
However, you might reconsider giving this person, or anyone, money again unless you’re prepared to lose the amount. Think carefully about how forgiveness would affect you.
Mr Thomas suggests asking yourself: “If I do not get this money back, it’s not just how will I feel, but how will this affect any of my financial goals or anything that I have planned to do with those resources?”
Take legal action as a last resort
Mr Thomas doesn’t advocate suing friends or family in most cases. But that path might be worth exploring “if there are large sums of money on the table and there is an individual who you have reason to believe has the capacity to pay”, he says.
It’s important to have evidence on your side, too. You’ll have an easier time proving the case if you have a written contract, Mr O’Neill says.
If you take this route, prepare to burn bridges. Will it be worth it if you receive your money back? Will it be worth it if you don’t?
Episode list:
Ep1: A recovery like no other- the unevenness of the economic recovery
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Ep3: The recovery and global trade disruptions - globalisation post-pandemic
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Ep5: Travel and tourism
BMW M5 specs
Engine: 4.4-litre twin-turbo V-8 petrol enging with additional electric motor
Power: 727hp
Torque: 1,000Nm
Transmission: 8-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 10.6L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh650,000
Scores
Rajasthan Royals 160-8 (20 ov)
Kolkata Knight Riders 163-3 (18.5 ov)
PAST 10 BRITISH GRAND PRIX WINNERS
2016 - Lewis Hamilton (Mercedes-GP)
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2014 - Lewis Hamilton (Mercedes-GP)
2013 - Nico Rosberg (Mercedes-GP)
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2011 - Fernando Alonso (Ferrari)
2010 - Mark Webber (Red Bull Racing)
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2007 - Kimi Raikkonen (Ferrari)
A Cat, A Man, and Two Women
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Translated by Paul McCarthy
Daunt Books
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Pharaoh's curse
British aristocrat Lord Carnarvon, who funded the expedition to find the Tutankhamun tomb, died in a Cairo hotel four months after the crypt was opened.
He had been in poor health for many years after a car crash, and a mosquito bite made worse by a shaving cut led to blood poisoning and pneumonia.
Reports at the time said Lord Carnarvon suffered from “pain as the inflammation affected the nasal passages and eyes”.
Decades later, scientists contended he had died of aspergillosis after inhaling spores of the fungus aspergillus in the tomb, which can lie dormant for months. The fact several others who entered were also found dead withiin a short time led to the myth of the curse.
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- On sale: 2026
- Price: Not announced yet
FIXTURES
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Inter Milan v AS Roma (11.45pm)
Saturday
Atalanta v Verona (6pm)
Udinese v Napoli (9pm)
Lazio v Juventus (11.45pm)
Sunday
Lecce v Genoa (3.30pm)
Sassuolo v Cagliari (6pm)
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Sampdoria v Parma (9pm)
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Sector: Online gaming industry
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Dark Souls: Remastered
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Publisher: Namco Bandai
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UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
