Sure, you want to feel joy and love upon receiving a wedding invitation. But one little postcard or email can also pack loads of pricey pressure.
Perhaps you must secure travel and lodging, buy gifts and attire or call off work. Or maybe you have the honour — and extra expense — of being in the wedding party.
This may be your reality soon, as wedding season looms and events that were postponed or rescheduled because of Covid-19 reappear on the calendar.
Before stressing about these weddings, take comfort from Crystal L. Bailey, director of The Etiquette Institute of Washington, in the US: “Your loved one would not want you to spend in a way that would make you financially struggle.”
For less struggling and more celebrating, here’s how to handle the financial load of attending weddings.
Check your finances — and feelings
As you learn about upcoming weddings, “map out your year”, Ms Bailey says.
This planning is useful if you’re invited to multiple weddings, bridal showers, bachelor or bachelorette parties and rehearsal dinners. If you’re inclined to say "yes" to everything, this mapping could show how much time (and money) “everything” will cost.
Check your bank account balance or budget to understand what’s available to spend after accounting for needs. Ideally, this financial reality check helps you prioritise expenses, says Landis Bejar, a licensed mental health counsellor in New York City and founder of AisleTalk, which provides therapy to people who are getting married.
For example, maybe you realise you can’t attend the bachelorette party but can attend the wedding.
Take inventory of where the expectation is coming from. That can usually help you navigate what’s important in your decision making
Landis Bejar,
mental health counsellor and founder of AisleTalk
If you still feel compelled to overspend, “take inventory of where that expectation is coming from”, Ms Bejar says. “That can usually help you navigate what’s important in your decision making.”
For example, perhaps this reflection shows that you simply yearn to get out of the house and celebrate after so much quarantining. So you prioritise attending the wedding and feel less pressure to buy a new outfit for it.
Find ways to cut costs
Prioritising your values may help you save money. So, if being present at the wedding is most important, you may be able to trim expenses in these categories:
Lodging and travel: If possible, choose cheaper accommodation than the couple suggested or crash with a local connection. Split costs with other guests by sharing a rented holiday apartment or driving together. Pay for fewer nights by skipping the night-before dinner and arriving the day of the wedding.
Bachelor and bachelorette parties, showers and other related events: It’s OK to politely pass on these events if you give plenty of advance notice.
Gifts: Matt J. Goren , a certified financial planner in Chicago, suggests giving what you can, which will be easier to determine after checking your finances.
“If someone is going to think you’re a bad friend because you only gave them what you could afford, then they’re not that good a friend,” says Mr Goren.
Consider declining
The most effective way to cut wedding costs? Decline the invitation. That’s fine, particularly if you’re more of an acquaintance than a close friend or family member, or if you don’t want to go.
If you must pass up the wedding of someone you’re close with, Ms Bailey recommends calling or writing a note. Thank them for the invitation and consider sending a gift.
Ms Bejar suggests seeing if you can participate in other ways. For example, if you can’t make the destination wedding or shower, maybe you can have a gift delivered to the couple.
Remember: if you can’t afford the event, “it doesn’t mean you’re a bad friend or a bad person”, Mr Goren says.
If you wanted to go but couldn’t come up with a relatively small amount of money — say, for a local event — try to see the situation as a “wake-up call”, he says. After all, how would you handle an urgent expense, such as an emergency room visit?
If someone is going to think you’re a bad friend because you only gave them what you could afford, then they’re not that good a friend
Matt Goren,
financial planner
Use this experience as motivation to build financial security, Mr Goren says, so you can afford emergencies and weddings alike. Track your money so you know where it goes, and explore ways to spend less and make more.
Talk to the engaged couple
Say you’re close with the betrothed and can’t afford the wedding or a related obligation, like being in the bridal party. “The worst thing you can do is have the money fears override the friendship,” Mr Goren says.
So discuss your money concern with the bride or groom — soon, ideally months before the event.
“Good friends will understand if you’re honest and transparent,” Ms Bejar says.
Avoid complaining or making the conversation about you. Instead, ask what’s most important to your loved one, then brainstorm and possibly compromise.
For example, maybe your friend most values your presence at the wedding and is OK with you passing on bridesmaid duty (and the hair, makeup and outfit expenses that may come with it).
Whether you find solutions or not, Ms Bejar suggests acknowledging the importance of this milestone. “Brides and grooms want to feel special,” she says.
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Lamsa
Founder: Badr Ward
Launched: 2014
Employees: 60
Based: Abu Dhabi
Sector: EdTech
Funding to date: $15 million
Name: Peter Dicce
Title: Assistant dean of students and director of athletics
Favourite sport: soccer
Favourite team: Bayern Munich
Favourite player: Franz Beckenbauer
Favourite activity in Abu Dhabi: scuba diving in the Northern Emirates
Most F1 world titles
7 — Michael Schumacher (1994, ’95, 2000, ’01 ’02, ’03, ’04)
7 — Lewis Hamilton (2008, ’14,’15, ’17, ’18, ’19, ’20)
5 — Juan Manuel Fangio (1951, ’54, ’55, ’56, ’57)
4 — Alain Prost (1985, ’86, ’89, ’93)
4 — Sebastian Vettel (2010, ’11, ’12, ’13)
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The Penguin
Starring: Colin Farrell, Cristin Milioti, Rhenzy Feliz
Creator: Lauren LeFranc
Rating: 4/5
Company%C2%A0profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EHayvn%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2018%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EChristopher%20Flinos%2C%20Ahmed%20Ismail%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EAbu%20Dhabi%2C%20UAE%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3Efinancial%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInitial%20investment%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3Eundisclosed%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESize%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2044%20employees%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20stage%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3Eseries%20B%20in%20the%20second%20half%20of%202023%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EHilbert%20Capital%2C%20Red%20Acre%20Ventures%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Lexus LX700h specs
Engine: 3.4-litre twin-turbo V6 plus supplementary electric motor
Power: 464hp at 5,200rpm
Torque: 790Nm from 2,000-3,600rpm
Transmission: 10-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 11.7L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh590,000
VEZEETA PROFILE
Date started: 2012
Founder: Amir Barsoum
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: HealthTech / MedTech
Size: 300 employees
Funding: $22.6 million (as of September 2018)
Investors: Technology Development Fund, Silicon Badia, Beco Capital, Vostok New Ventures, Endeavour Catalyst, Crescent Enterprises’ CE-Ventures, Saudi Technology Ventures and IFC
The years Ramadan fell in May
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League final:
Who: Real Madrid v Liverpool
Where: NSC Olimpiyskiy Stadium, Kiev, Ukraine
When: Saturday, May 26, 10.45pm (UAE)
TV: Match on BeIN Sports
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The%20specs
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Specs
Engine: 51.5kW electric motor
Range: 400km
Power: 134bhp
Torque: 175Nm
Price: From Dh98,800
Available: Now
At a glance
Global events: Much of the UK’s economic woes were blamed on “increased global uncertainty”, which can be interpreted as the economic impact of the Ukraine war and the uncertainty over Donald Trump’s tariffs.
Growth forecasts: Cut for 2025 from 2 per cent to 1 per cent. The OBR watchdog also estimated inflation will average 3.2 per cent this year
Welfare: Universal credit health element cut by 50 per cent and frozen for new claimants, building on cuts to the disability and incapacity bill set out earlier this month
Spending cuts: Overall day-to day-spending across government cut by £6.1bn in 2029-30
Tax evasion: Steps to crack down on tax evasion to raise “£6.5bn per year” for the public purse
Defence: New high-tech weaponry, upgrading HM Naval Base in Portsmouth
Housing: Housebuilding to reach its highest in 40 years, with planning reforms helping generate an extra £3.4bn for public finances
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cylinder turbo
Power: 240hp at 5,500rpm
Torque: 390Nm at 3,000rpm
Transmission: eight-speed auto
Price: from Dh122,745
On sale: now
AUSTRALIA SQUAD
Aaron Finch, Matt Renshaw, Brendan Doggett, Michael Neser, Usman Khawaja, Shaun Marsh, Mitchell Marsh, Tim Paine (captain), Travis Head, Marnus Labuschagne, Nathan Lyon, Jon Holland, Ashton Agar, Mitchell Starc, Peter Siddle
MOUNTAINHEAD REVIEW
Starring: Ramy Youssef, Steve Carell, Jason Schwartzman
Director: Jesse Armstrong
Rating: 3.5/5
From Zero
Artist: Linkin Park
Label: Warner Records
Number of tracks: 11
Rating: 4/5
Specs – Taycan 4S
Engine: Electric
Transmission: 2-speed auto
Power: 571bhp
Torque: 650Nm
Price: Dh431,800
Specs – Panamera
Engine: 3-litre V6 with 100kW electric motor
Transmission: 2-speed auto
Power: 455bhp
Torque: 700Nm
Price: from Dh431,800
ELIO
Starring: Yonas Kibreab, Zoe Saldana, Brad Garrett
Directors: Madeline Sharafian, Domee Shi, Adrian Molina
Rating: 4/5
GROUP RESULTS
Group A
Results
Ireland beat UAE by 226 runs
West Indies beat Netherlands by 54 runs
Group B
Results
Zimbabwe tied with Scotland
Nepal beat Hong Kong by five wickets
Civil%20War
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Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Lowest Test scores
26 - New Zealand v England at Auckland, March 1955
30 - South Africa v England at Port Elizabeth, Feb 1896
30 - South Africa v England at Birmingham, June 1924
35 - South Africa v England at Cape Town, April 1899
36 - South Africa v Australia at Melbourne, Feb. 1932
36 - Australia v England at Birmingham, May 1902
36 - India v Australia at Adelaide, Dec. 2020
38 - Ireland v England at Lord's, July 2019
42 - New Zealand v Australia in Wellington, March 1946
42 - Australia v England in Sydney, Feb. 1888
Six tips to secure your smart home
Most smart home devices are controlled via the owner's smartphone. Therefore, if you are using public wi-fi on your phone, always use a VPN (virtual private network) that offers strong security features and anonymises your internet connection.
Keep your smart home devices’ software up-to-date. Device makers often send regular updates - follow them without fail as they could provide protection from a new security risk.
Use two-factor authentication so that in addition to a password, your identity is authenticated by a second sign-in step like a code sent to your mobile number.
Set up a separate guest network for acquaintances and visitors to ensure the privacy of your IoT devices’ network.
Change the default privacy and security settings of your IoT devices to take extra steps to secure yourself and your home.
Always give your router a unique name, replacing the one generated by the manufacturer, to ensure a hacker cannot ascertain its make or model number.
Call of Duty: Black Ops 6
Developer: Treyarch, Raven Software
Publisher: Activision
Console: PlayStation 4 & 5, Windows, Xbox One & Series X/S
Rating: 3.5/5
Labour dispute
The insured employee may still file an ILOE claim even if a labour dispute is ongoing post termination, but the insurer may suspend or reject payment, until the courts resolve the dispute, especially if the reason for termination is contested. The outcome of the labour court proceedings can directly affect eligibility.
- Abdullah Ishnaneh, Partner, BSA Law
