Money is a taboo topic in many cultures. We may become uncomfortable when it’s brought up, change the subject or find a way to leave the room. Why? Because money touches every area of our life.
Like it or not, we are susceptible to social comparison and money acts as a kind of benchmark. We default to money as our measuring stick because it’s easy to do so, but this creates a vicious cycle that ends with us being petrified to talk about finances.
Once we start talking about money, we open ourselves to being judged and nobody likes that.
A negative consequence of this is that it’s hard for us to talk about money with important people in our lives. It becomes easier to avoid the conversation, keep secrets and end up fighting about finances.
Then comes our default communication style. Most of us approach conversations from the standpoint of getting our message across. This is driven into us from an early age and continues through to our adult life as we learn how to articulate our messages, be more concise and become better communicators.
It’s no wonder, then, that the default mode for many people is to jump into a conversation to try to prove how smart they are, offer unsolicited advice or “win” the conversation.
Taking all this into account, money conversations can be stressful and when stress runs too high, we run the risk of our emotions taking over. We act without the “thinking” aspect of our brain.
Instead, we default to the more primitive part of our brain, which provides a fight, flight, or freeze response.
This emotional takeover happens because one or more of our basic needs isn’t being met. At this time you are far more likely to be aggressive (fight), leave the room or change the subject (flight) or mentally check out of the conversation (freeze).
So, what are our basic needs? There are six.
The first is “belonging” — feeling as though you are part of a group. In tribal times, it was dangerous not to belong to a group.
The second is “autonomy”, feeling in control of your life and able to make your own decisions. If this is not met, you may feel you are being told what to do.
“Safety” or “security” comes next. This can be a literal feeling of safety (shelter, food and water) or relate to the non-survival aspects of our lives, such as unemployment or having insufficient retirement savings.
“Self-expression” is the fourth basic need — when you feel heard and understood. The fifth is “connection”, in which you have healthy, close relationships.
While our need for “belonging” is about being a part of a group, our need for “connection” is about having relationships within that. The consequence of this not being fulfilled is a feeling of being isolated or alone.
Changing our mindset from trying to convey a point to listening with the intent to understand can be a game-changer.
Sam Instone,
co-chief executive of AES
Finally, there is the need for “purpose” or “significance” — feeling as though you have a direction in life. When this need is not met, you’re more likely to feel sad or even depressed.
Changing our mindset from trying to convey a point to listening with the intent to understand can be a game-changer.
So, how can we structure our conversations around money better?
Try to articulate your thoughts for the listener so they can interpret what you mean. There is a lot of potential for misunderstanding when talking about emotional topics. You can end up in a vicious cycle and fight based on a few misunderstandings.
One way to avoid this is to check that what you thought the person meant is correct. This is called reflective listening.
Get comfortable with hearing “no” for an answer. This allows the speaker to rearticulate and, most importantly, prevents you from making faulty assumptions.
This is the basis of successful conversations about money.
Focusing on fully understanding what the other person is trying to say before responding will prevent a headache later on.
Reflective listening, paired with your mindset change of putting understanding at the top of your list, helps you to stay on the same page.
When you are on the same page, you turn the situation away from “you versus your partner” towards “you and your partner versus the problem”.
Sam Instone is co-chief executive of wealth management company AES
TRAP
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Saleka Shyamalan, Ariel Donaghue
Director: M Night Shyamalan
Rating: 3/5
Red flags
- Promises of high, fixed or 'guaranteed' returns.
- Unregulated structured products or complex investments often used to bypass traditional safeguards.
- Lack of clear information, vague language, no access to audited financials.
- Overseas companies targeting investors in other jurisdictions - this can make legal recovery difficult.
- Hard-selling tactics - creating urgency, offering 'exclusive' deals.
Courtesy: Carol Glynn, founder of Conscious Finance Coaching
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4cyl turbo
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Transmission: 9-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 6.9L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh117,059
Specs
Engine: Electric motor generating 54.2kWh (Cooper SE and Aceman SE), 64.6kW (Countryman All4 SE)
Power: 218hp (Cooper and Aceman), 313hp (Countryman)
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On sale: Now
Price: From Dh158,000 (Cooper), Dh168,000 (Aceman), Dh190,000 (Countryman)
ONCE UPON A TIME IN GAZA
Starring: Nader Abd Alhay, Majd Eid, Ramzi Maqdisi
Directors: Tarzan and Arab Nasser
Rating: 4.5/5
What sanctions would be reimposed?
Under ‘snapback’, measures imposed on Iran by the UN Security Council in six resolutions would be restored, including:
- An arms embargo
- A ban on uranium enrichment and reprocessing
- A ban on launches and other activities with ballistic missiles capable of delivering nuclear weapons, as well as ballistic missile technology transfer and technical assistance
- A targeted global asset freeze and travel ban on Iranian individuals and entities
- Authorisation for countries to inspect Iran Air Cargo and Islamic Republic of Iran Shipping Lines cargoes for banned goods
Tell Me Who I Am
Director: Ed Perkins
Stars: Alex and Marcus Lewis
Four stars
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
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KILLING OF QASSEM SULEIMANI
No more lice
Defining head lice
Pediculus humanus capitis are tiny wingless insects that feed on blood from the human scalp. The adult head louse is up to 3mm long, has six legs, and is tan to greyish-white in colour. The female lives up to four weeks and, once mature, can lay up to 10 eggs per day. These tiny nits firmly attach to the base of the hair shaft, get incubated by body heat and hatch in eight days or so.
Identifying lice
Lice can be identified by itching or a tickling sensation of something moving within the hair. One can confirm that a person has lice by looking closely through the hair and scalp for nits, nymphs or lice. Head lice are most frequently located behind the ears and near the neckline.
Treating lice at home
Head lice must be treated as soon as they are spotted. Start by checking everyone in the family for them, then follow these steps. Remove and wash all clothing and bedding with hot water. Apply medicine according to the label instructions. If some live lice are still found eight to 12 hours after treatment, but are moving more slowly than before, do not re-treat. Comb dead and remaining live lice out of the hair using a fine-toothed comb.
After the initial treatment, check for, comb and remove nits and lice from hair every two to three days. Soak combs and brushes in hot water for 10 minutes.Vacuum the floor and furniture, particularly where the infested person sat or lay.
Courtesy Dr Vishal Rajmal Mehta, specialist paediatrics, RAK Hospital
2025 Fifa Club World Cup groups
Group A: Palmeiras, Porto, Al Ahly, Inter Miami.
Group B: Paris Saint-Germain, Atletico Madrid, Botafogo, Seattle.
Group C: Bayern Munich, Auckland City, Boca Juniors, Benfica.
Group D: Flamengo, ES Tunis, Chelsea, Leon.
Group E: River Plate, Urawa, Monterrey, Inter Milan.
Group F: Fluminense, Borussia Dortmund, Ulsan, Mamelodi Sundowns.
Group G: Manchester City, Wydad, Al Ain, Juventus.
Group H: Real Madrid, Al Hilal, Pachuca, Salzburg.
Racecard
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EPL's youngest
- Ethan Nwaneri (Arsenal)
15 years, 181 days old
- Max Dowman (Arsenal)
15 years, 235 days old
- Jeremy Monga (Leicester)
15 years, 271 days old
- Harvey Elliott (Fulham)
16 years, 30 days old
- Matthew Briggs (Fulham)
16 years, 68 days old
THE SPECS
Engine: 6.0-litre, twin-turbocharged W12
Transmission: eight-speed automatic
Power: 626bhp
Torque: 900Nm
Price: Dh1,050,000
On sale: now
The specs
Engine: 1.5-litre 4-cyl turbo
Power: 194hp at 5,600rpm
Torque: 275Nm from 2,000-4,000rpm
Transmission: 6-speed auto
Price: from Dh155,000
On sale: now
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
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Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
Living in...
This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.
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Specs
Engine: Dual-motor all-wheel-drive electric
Range: Up to 610km
Power: 905hp
Torque: 985Nm
Price: From Dh439,000
Available: Now
