For some people, talking about money is as pleasurable a way to spend time together as going for a long walk on the beach.
“I am a money nerd, so to me, talking about money is super fun, and I’ve paired up with someone who is the same,” says Kate Fries, a certified financial planner and financial adviser at The Family Firm in Maryland, in the US. “For us, talking about money is the same thing as talking about dreams. Where do we want to go, what do we want to build? It’s a fun conversation.”
But not everyone looks forward to money discussions. Finances can be a significant source of stress in a relationship. As Valentine’s Day approaches, here are some ways to make talking about money with your partner more enjoyable or at least less painful — and possibly even romantic.
First, consider your own money values
Before initiating a conversation about money with your partner, Eugenie George, a financial wellness expert based in Philadelphia, suggests taking time to reflect on your own money values. In other words, what do you want to prioritise when it comes to spending and saving? Answers could include community, adventure and fun, she says.
“You need to figure out yourself first,” Ms George says.
Schedule recurring money dates
Start a money conversation with your partner by asking about their values, which allows you to find common ground even if those values aren’t identical, Ms George says. “If your values aren’t lining up, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. You could be complementing each other,” she says.
In Ms George’s case, her partner prefers spending on family experiences, like a good meal, while she likes spending more on larger group activities, such as parties. Once they understood and accepted their differences, she says it was easier to move forward and find shared goals, too.
You could also try having a money date with your partner at least quarterly to check in and review recent spending patterns and goals, Ms Frie says.
“Make sure everyone’s tanks are full. You’ve slept and eaten, so you are coming with your best resources available. Maybe a cup of tea … and a candle, so you are associating positive things” with the ritual, Ms Fries says.
Practise empathy
As those conversations progress, it’s common to uncover conflicts or sources of tension, says Ed Coambs, a certified financial planner and couples therapist in North Carolina.
“One way to avoid that is to acknowledge it,” he says. “Say, ‘Honey, money conversations have been difficult for us’.”
Then, try to listen and open up the conversation with statements and questions that help you better understand where your partner is coming from.
For example, if you are concerned about your partner’s spending patterns, you could start by saying, “I am feeling anxious and want to talk about our spending” instead of, “You’re spending too much and you’re making me anxious”.
A similar approach can work when tackling difficult subjects such as paying off debt or making cuts in your budget.
“You see how hard you work for every dollar, but you don’t see how your partner does. Try to extend them the same empathy that you give yourself, even if how they handle feeling sad or happy doesn’t make sense to you,” says Gaby Dunn, author and host of the podcast Bad with Money.
Focus on goals, then the logistics
Use your money dates to share your goals and make the conversation fun, Ms Fries says.
“‘Oh, you want to go to Paris? How can we make that happen in the next two years?’ Now that’s an exciting conversation,” she says.
It’s also important to get a clear idea of your current financial situation, including an overview of your net worth, with how much you have in each account and how much you owe on any outstanding loans, Ms Fries says.
Then you can give yourself smaller tasks to complete before the next money date, such as making a budget or reviewing your retirement savings. Whether or not you commingle your finances, your actions still can affect the other person’s money if you’re sharing a home and other assets or debts.
Give each other flexibility
Maintaining flexibility within the goals and budget you share can increase your chances of success, according to Ms Fries. For example, you might not want to spend $200 a month on golf, but your partner does.
“Each person can have a bucket to spend however they want,” she says, adding that it can help to reduce conflicts over day-to-day spending.
Beware of these warning signs
Some money conflicts might require the help of a relationship counsellor or financial planner, or even signal that the relationship is not meant to be.
Certain red flags, such as controlling what you purchase, making comments about what you bought or value and even “love bombing”- showering someone with gifts as a way of buying affection — could suggest deeper problems, Ms Dunn says.
The Perfect Couple
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Liev Schreiber, Jack Reynor
Creator: Jenna Lamia
Rating: 3/5
Dust and sand storms compared
Sand storm
- Particle size: Larger, heavier sand grains
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- Travel distance: Limited
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Dust storm
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Financial considerations before buying a property
Buyers should try to pay as much in cash as possible for a property, limiting the mortgage value to as little as they can afford. This means they not only pay less in interest but their monthly costs are also reduced. Ideally, the monthly mortgage payment should not exceed 20 per cent of the purchaser’s total household income, says Carol Glynn, founder of Conscious Finance Coaching.
“If it’s a rental property, plan for the property to have periods when it does not have a tenant. Ensure you have enough cash set aside to pay the mortgage and other costs during these periods, ideally at least six months,” she says.
Also, shop around for the best mortgage interest rate. Understand the terms and conditions, especially what happens after any introductory periods, Ms Glynn adds.
Using a good mortgage broker is worth the investment to obtain the best rate available for a buyer’s needs and circumstances. A good mortgage broker will help the buyer understand the terms and conditions of the mortgage and make the purchasing process efficient and easier.
The Freedom Artist
By Ben Okri (Head of Zeus)
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
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- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
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- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
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Ferrari 12Cilindri specs
Engine: naturally aspirated 6.5-liter V12
Power: 819hp
Torque: 678Nm at 7,250rpm
Price: From Dh1,700,000
Available: Now
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Benefits of first-time home buyers' scheme
- Priority access to new homes from participating developers
- Discounts on sales price of off-plan units
- Flexible payment plans from developers
- Mortgages with better interest rates, faster approval times and reduced fees
- DLD registration fee can be paid through banks or credit cards at zero interest rates
Seven tips from Emirates NBD
1. Never respond to e-mails, calls or messages asking for account, card or internet banking details
2. Never store a card PIN (personal identification number) in your mobile or in your wallet
3. Ensure online shopping websites are secure and verified before providing card details
4. Change passwords periodically as a precautionary measure
5. Never share authentication data such as passwords, card PINs and OTPs (one-time passwords) with third parties
6. Track bank notifications regarding transaction discrepancies
7. Report lost or stolen debit and credit cards immediately
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
23-man shortlist for next six Hall of Fame inductees
Tony Adams, David Beckham, Dennis Bergkamp, Sol Campbell, Eric Cantona, Andrew Cole, Ashley Cole, Didier Drogba, Les Ferdinand, Rio Ferdinand, Robbie Fowler, Steven Gerrard, Roy Keane, Frank Lampard, Matt Le Tissier, Michael Owen, Peter Schmeichel, Paul Scholes, John Terry, Robin van Persie, Nemanja Vidic, Patrick Viera, Ian Wright.
What is the FNC?
The Federal National Council is one of five federal authorities established by the UAE constitution. It held its first session on December 2, 1972, a year to the day after Federation.
It has 40 members, eight of whom are women. The members represent the UAE population through each of the emirates. Abu Dhabi and Dubai have eight members each, Sharjah and Ras al Khaimah six, and Ajman, Fujairah and Umm Al Quwain have four.
They bring Emirati issues to the council for debate and put those concerns to ministers summoned for questioning.
The FNC’s main functions include passing, amending or rejecting federal draft laws, discussing international treaties and agreements, and offering recommendations on general subjects raised during sessions.
Federal draft laws must first pass through the FNC for recommendations when members can amend the laws to suit the needs of citizens. The draft laws are then forwarded to the Cabinet for consideration and approval.
Since 2006, half of the members have been elected by UAE citizens to serve four-year terms and the other half are appointed by the Ruler’s Courts of the seven emirates.
In the 2015 elections, 78 of the 252 candidates were women. Women also represented 48 per cent of all voters and 67 per cent of the voters were under the age of 40.
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Qyubic
Started: October 2023
Founder: Namrata Raina
Based: Dubai
Sector: E-commerce
Current number of staff: 10
Investment stage: Pre-seed
Initial investment: Undisclosed
LIST OF INVITEES
Shergo Kurdi (am)
Rayhan Thomas
Saud Al Sharee (am)
Min Woo Lee
Todd Clements
Matthew Jordan
AbdulRahman Al Mansour (am)
Matteo Manassero
Alfie Plant
Othman Al Mulla
Shaun Norris
Three ways to boost your credit score
Marwan Lutfi says the core fundamentals that drive better payment behaviour and can improve your credit score are:
1. Make sure you make your payments on time;
2. Limit the number of products you borrow on: the more loans and credit cards you have, the more it will affect your credit score;
3. Don't max out all your debts: how much you maximise those credit facilities will have an impact. If you have five credit cards and utilise 90 per cent of that credit, it will negatively affect your score.
Results
6.30pm: Madjani Stakes Group 2 (PA) Dh97,500 (Dirt) 1,900m, Winner: RB Frynchh Dude, Pat Cosgrave (jockey), Helal Al Alawi (trainer)
7.05pm: Maiden (TB) Dh82,500 (D) 1,400m, Winner: Mnasek, Dane O’Neill, Doug Watson.
7.40pm: Maiden (TB) Dh82,500 (D) 1,600m, Winner: Grand Dubai, Sandro Paiva, Ali Rashid Al Raihe.
8.15pm: Handicap (TB) Dh87,500 (D) 2,200m, Winner: Meqdam, Sam Hitchcock, Doug Watson.
8.50pm: Dubai Creek Mile Listed (TB) Dh132,500 (D) 1,600m, Winner: Thegreatcollection, Pat Cosgrave, Doug Watson.
9.25pm: Conditions (TB) Dh120,000 (D) 1,900m, Winner: Sanad Libya, Richard Mullen, Satish Seemar.
10pm: Handicap (TB) Dh92,500 (D) 1,400m, Winner: Madkhal, Adrie de Vries, Fawzi Nass.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The burning issue
The internal combustion engine is facing a watershed moment – major manufacturer Volvo is to stop producing petroleum-powered vehicles by 2021 and countries in Europe, including the UK, have vowed to ban their sale before 2040. The National takes a look at the story of one of the most successful technologies of the last 100 years and how it has impacted life in the UAE.
Read part four: an affection for classic cars lives on
Read part three: the age of the electric vehicle begins
Read part one: how cars came to the UAE
