Finally, as the coronavirus-induced movement restrictions are eased globally, you are probably seeing more of your friends. Out with the video chatting and in with the high-fiving, hugging and, well, spending.
For every dinner, there is a cheque to pay; for every wedding, a gift to buy; and for every concert, a ticket to score.
You may notice that you and your reunited friends handle these kinds of expenses differently. Maybe one of you sees an $80 night out as chump change while the other feels like a chump for desperately needing that cash for rent.
Here is how to re-enter the world of socialising and spending while keeping friendships and finances intact.
If you are the friend with less money
Reflect on your finances and priorities, as well as how they may have changed during the Covid-19 pandemic.
“This is an opportunity for everyone to be more mindful about where they want to spend their time, money and resources,” says Kathleen Burns Kingsbury, a Vermont-based wealth psychology expert and host of the Breaking money silence podcast.
Consider what is important to you, she says, as well as the experiences you want to invest in and those you would rather skip to save money. “Then you can decline invitations a little easier because you feel more solid in your decision,” she says.
Say you realise that during quarantine you did not mind peanut butter sandwiches for most meals, but you craved live music. Skip the fancy dinner plans and, if your finances allow, buy the concert ticket.
Or make your own plans if you are simply longing to catch up with friends. Host a potluck, movie night, bike ride or another more affordable hangout.
After Covid-19, people really understand financial stress no matter their level of income or assets
Kathleen Burns Kingsbury,
wealth psychology expert
With this kind of intention, you are empowering yourself to make strategic financial decisions. Doesn’t that sound better than bailing because money is tight?
“Instead of saying, ‘I can’t, I can’t, I can’t’, it is more about saying: ‘This is what I am going to do’,” Ms Kingsbury says.
As you reflect on financial priorities, consider creating a budget to match them, says New York-based financial therapist Aja Evans.
A budget is a plan for your incoming and outgoing money. The key word is “plan”. No need to resort to a shrug or stress fest when you are invited to a destination wedding or pricey brunch. With a budget, you already have an idea of how much you can (or cannot) spend on those activities.
If you cannot make it to the event, trust that your friends will understand. “I would imagine that, after Covid-19, people really understand financial stress no matter their level of income or assets,” Ms Kingsbury says.
If you are the friend with more money
If you can afford the dinners and concerts, then live it up, Ms Evans says. But try to understand that your friends cannot always join you.
Be “empathetic and compassionate and – here is the hard part – not judgmental”, Ms Kingsbury says.
You may not know your friend’s circumstances. Many people do not share when they are financially stressed, Ms Kingsbury says, “because there is that judgment and shame”. So, give your friend the benefit of the doubt when she declines an invite.
And give your friend something else: time. As soon as you plan an outing or learn about a pricey event, tell them so they can try to plan for it, Ms Evans says.
Even with that time, “be prepared that some people might not be able to make it work”, Ms Evans says. Allow friends to opt out or even participate in an alternative plan.
Allow friends to opt out or even participate in an alternative plan
Aja Evans,
financial therapist
So, if you invite friends to a destination wedding, for example, explain that you know it is an expensive request and understand if they cannot join. Maybe you and your friends who cannot make the trip go out to dinner locally to celebrate instead.
How to talk about money with friends
These spending situations become easier when you and your friends can talk openly about money. If your buddy already knows you are saving for a down payment or supporting your parents, for example, he or she is more likely to understand when you pass on an expensive trip.
And if you discuss finances with friends, you may be able to motivate and help each other. Maybe your friend knows of a first-time homebuyer programme that could help you with that down payment.
But money can be a loaded subject. To keep the conversation casual, avoid having it while you are already out spending money, Ms Evans says.
As for what to say, start with “I” statements, she says, as in: “I’ve been looking at my finances and noticed …” With this phrasing, your friend is less likely to feel defensive or pressured to share.
Or start with a more general, less personal chat. Share an article, Ms Kingsbury says, or bring up the financial aspect of a news event or even celebrity gossip.
“Once people start to talk about money in general, then the conversation over time evolves,” she says. And friends “become more vulnerable and willing to share”.
Skewed figures
In the village of Mevagissey in southwest England the housing stock has doubled in the last century while the number of residents is half the historic high. The village's Neighbourhood Development Plan states that 26% of homes are holiday retreats. Prices are high, averaging around £300,000, £50,000 more than the Cornish average of £250,000. The local average wage is £15,458.
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UPI facts
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More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
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Started: October 2023
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Based: Dubai
Sector: E-commerce
Current number of staff: 10
Investment stage: Pre-seed
Initial investment: Undisclosed
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What is Folia?
Prince Khaled bin Alwaleed bin Talal's new plant-based menu will launch at Four Seasons hotels in Dubai this November. A desire to cater to people looking for clean, healthy meals beyond green salad is what inspired Prince Khaled and American celebrity chef Matthew Kenney to create Folia. The word means "from the leaves" in Latin, and the exclusive menu offers fine plant-based cuisine across Four Seasons properties in Los Angeles, Bahrain and, soon, Dubai.
Kenney specialises in vegan cuisine and is the founder of Plant Food Wine and 20 other restaurants worldwide. "I’ve always appreciated Matthew’s work," says the Saudi royal. "He has a singular culinary talent and his approach to plant-based dining is prescient and unrivalled. I was a fan of his long before we established our professional relationship."
Folia first launched at The Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills in July 2018. It is available at the poolside Cabana Restaurant and for in-room dining across the property, as well as in its private event space. The food is vibrant and colourful, full of fresh dishes such as the hearts of palm ceviche with California fruit, vegetables and edible flowers; green hearb tacos filled with roasted squash and king oyster barbacoa; and a savoury coconut cream pie with macadamia crust.
In March 2019, the Folia menu reached Gulf shores, as it was introduced at the Four Seasons Hotel Bahrain Bay, where it is served at the Bay View Lounge. Next, on Tuesday, November 1 – also known as World Vegan Day – it will come to the UAE, to the Four Seasons Resort Dubai at Jumeirah Beach and the Four Seasons DIFC, both properties Prince Khaled has spent "considerable time at and love".
There are also plans to take Folia to several more locations throughout the Middle East and Europe.
While health-conscious diners will be attracted to the concept, Prince Khaled is careful to stress Folia is "not meant for a specific subset of customers. It is meant for everyone who wants a culinary experience without the negative impact that eating out so often comes with."
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