Johnny Depp has a lot to answer for. The "mockney" drawl, the swagger and the healthy disdain for maritime authorities he perfected as Captain Jack Sparrow lent a cachet to piracy that had eluded the profession for centuries.
Don't get me wrong, pirates have always been cool, but not Johnny Depp cool. It is surely no coincidence then that from 2003, when the first Pirates of The Caribbean movie hit the big screen, the incidence of piracy in the Gulf of Aden began to chart a swift northerly course.
More recently, the prolonged global economic downturn has dispensed with many of the other employment opportunities for Somali men living by the coast - not that there were that many prospects in the first place - further adding to the allure of the pirate's trade.
You can make a good living as a Somali pirate.
According to the latest data, the average annual earnings for your modern day buccaneer range from US$33,000 (Dh121,000) to $79,000 a year. That's an almost identical salary spread as for elementary schoolteachers in New York City, according to salary.com.
And having lived a block away from a New York City elementary school I would venture that Gulf of Aden pirate is probably a far safer career option.
What is more, given the comparable cost of living in Somalia, such a salary would afford any pirate a lifestyle far beyond the reach of the staff at Public School 151. In Somali society the pirate's buying power would be more akin to a Wall Street banker or an Upper East Side dentist.
The average annual earnings for non-pirate workers on the Somali coast, such as fishermen or animal herders, run at just $500 a year, which gives you an idea of just how much a pirate is really worth.
With such a boom in boarding ships it is no surprise that potential lifetime earnings for your average pirate are also pretty high. The latest data show that a pirate can expect to earn $168,000 to $394,000 over his working life, which means the average length of a career from day one to retirement for a pirate is just a little more than five years. That's certainly preferable to the 30 to 40 years most of us spend behind a desk.
Hang on a minute, I hear you cry, since when has there been detailed data on the earning power of pirates? And if this data exists, where does it come from? As far as I was aware pirates aren't renowned for double entry bookkeeping and the crew is hardly likely to have a human resources department. They certainly don't file tax returns and I doubt any of them keep their payslips.
But, in a further sign of the increasing acceptability of piracy as a legitimate industry, the management consultants have decided that there might be a buck or two in buccaneering. At least they seem to have prepared the ground for the day when pirates might come knocking for their services.
Geopolicity, a firm based in the UAE that describes itself as a specialist in economic intelligence, produced the fascinating report on the economics of piracy that provided all the data used above.
Geopolicity staff say they based their report on data gleaned from 1,500 pirates, which is a pretty big sample given how hard it is to track a pirate down.
There is a very serious side to the report of course. Piracy is estimated to cost the global maritime economy as much as $8.3 billion a year and that is projected by Geopolicity to rise to as much as $15bn by 2014. Hundreds of honest seafarers were taken hostage by pirates last year, some were killed.
But in much the same way that Johnny Depp lent pirates a new-found cool, so economists and consultants imbue them with a lameness the likes of which they could have never imagined.
What next for pirates? Bank accounts? Managed retirement plans?
Now the report is out there, it is surely only a matter of time before a pirate's mobile phone rings at a crucial juncture in boarding a soon to be captured merchant vessel.
"Hello, is this Captain Sparrow?" the voice on the line might inquire. "Have you taken the time to think about life insurance recently?"
jdoran@thenational.ae
MATCH INFO
Kolkata Knight Riders 245/6 (20 ovs)
Kings XI Punjab 214/8 (20 ovs)
Kolkata won by 31 runs
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
What can you do?
Document everything immediately; including dates, times, locations and witnesses
Seek professional advice from a legal expert
You can report an incident to HR or an immediate supervisor
You can use the Ministry of Human Resources and Emiratisation’s dedicated hotline
In criminal cases, you can contact the police for additional support
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Pox that threatens the Middle East's native species
Camelpox
Caused by a virus related to the one that causes human smallpox, camelpox typically causes fever, swelling of lymph nodes and skin lesions in camels aged over three, but the animal usually recovers after a month or so. Younger animals may develop a more acute form that causes internal lesions and diarrhoea, and is often fatal, especially when secondary infections result. It is found across the Middle East as well as in parts of Asia, Africa, Russia and India.
Falconpox
Falconpox can cause a variety of types of lesions, which can affect, for example, the eyelids, feet and the areas above and below the beak. It is a problem among captive falcons and is one of many types of avian pox or avipox diseases that together affect dozens of bird species across the world. Among the other forms are pigeonpox, turkeypox, starlingpox and canarypox. Avipox viruses are spread by mosquitoes and direct bird-to-bird contact.
Houbarapox
Houbarapox is, like falconpox, one of the many forms of avipox diseases. It exists in various forms, with a type that causes skin lesions being least likely to result in death. Other forms cause more severe lesions, including internal lesions, and are more likely to kill the bird, often because secondary infections develop. This summer the CVRL reported an outbreak of pox in houbaras after rains in spring led to an increase in mosquito numbers.
In numbers: PKK’s money network in Europe
Germany: PKK collectors typically bring in $18 million in cash a year – amount has trebled since 2010
Revolutionary tax: Investigators say about $2 million a year raised from ‘tax collection’ around Marseille
Extortion: Gunman convicted in 2023 of demanding $10,000 from Kurdish businessman in Stockholm
Drug trade: PKK income claimed by Turkish anti-drugs force in 2024 to be as high as $500 million a year
Denmark: PKK one of two terrorist groups along with Iranian separatists ASMLA to raise “two-digit million amounts”
Contributions: Hundreds of euros expected from typical Kurdish families and thousands from business owners
TV channel: Kurdish Roj TV accounts frozen and went bankrupt after Denmark fined it more than $1 million over PKK links in 2013
A MINECRAFT MOVIE
Director: Jared Hess
Starring: Jack Black, Jennifer Coolidge, Jason Momoa
Rating: 3/5
THE DETAILS
Kaala
Dir: Pa. Ranjith
Starring: Rajinikanth, Huma Qureshi, Easwari Rao, Nana Patekar
Rating: 1.5/5
more from Janine di Giovanni
Mina Cup winners
Under 12 – Minerva Academy
Under 14 – Unam Pumas
Under 16 – Fursan Hispania
Under 18 – Madenat
The specs
Engine: 4-litre twin-turbo V8
Transmission: nine-speed
Power: 542bhp
Torque: 700Nm
Price: Dh848,000
On sale: now
The Bio
Hometown: Bogota, Colombia
Favourite place to relax in UAE: the desert around Al Mleiha in Sharjah or the eastern mangroves in Abu Dhabi
The one book everyone should read: 100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. It will make your mind fly
Favourite documentary: Chasing Coral by Jeff Orlowski. It's a good reality check about one of the most valued ecosystems for humanity
NO OTHER LAND
Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal
Stars: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham
Rating: 3.5/5
THE%20SPECS
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Volvo ES90 Specs
Engine: Electric single motor (96kW), twin motor (106kW) and twin motor performance (106kW)
Power: 333hp, 449hp, 680hp
Torque: 480Nm, 670Nm, 870Nm
On sale: Later in 2025 or early 2026, depending on region
Price: Exact regional pricing TBA
EGYPT SQUAD
Goalkeepers: Ahmed El Shennawy, Mohamed El Shennawy, Mohamed Abou-Gabal, Mahmoud Abdel Rehem "Genesh"
Defenders: Ahmed Elmohamady, Ahmed Hegazi, Omar Gaber, Ali Gazal, Ayman Ahsraf, Mahmoud Hamdy, Baher Elmohamady, Ahmed Ayman Mansour, Mahmoud Alaa, Ahmed Abou-Elfotouh
Midfielders: Walid Soliman, Abdallah El Said, Mohamed Elneny, Tarek Hamed, Mahmoud “Trezeguet” Hassan, Amr Warda, Nabil Emad
Forwards: Ahmed Ali, Mohamed Salah, Marwan Mohsen, Ahmed "Kouka" Hassan.
