Older and wiser?

Spare a thought for the poor old labradoodle. For a month or two, it came so close to becoming first dog: beloved of President Obama's daughters, the most fashionable breed on the planet, canine royalty. Now the breed is reduced to Deputy Dawg. So very last year. I declare an interest. The only dog in our family at present is a labradoodle called Mabel. My elder daughter bought her before the Obamas even whispered they were considering one.

Now the USA's first family have chosen a Portuguese water dog, which nobody ever heard of. But very soon there won't be a person left on the planet that doesn't know about it. Magazine editors will be brainstorming ideas for features spreads, comics will be preparing doggy witticisms, Paris Hilton will be wondering if she can fit one in her handbag and breeders will be swamped with requests from families desperate to keep up with the folks in Pennsylvania Avenue.

The Portie is a breed of spaniel that Portuguese fishermen managed to train to herd fish into nets. Great swimmers, they actually have webbed toes and were often used to deliver messages from trawler to trawler. They don't shed their hair too much, which will be a relief to the White House cleaners, and are much favoured by parents whose kids have allergies, like the president's elder daughter, Malia.

At the last count, there were more than 41 million results on Google if you keyed in the words "Obama dog", such has been the frenzy of interest. The Obamas suggested they might give a home to a rescue dog but expensive breeds like Porties or labradoodles don't often turn up at rescue centres. So it was rather convenient that Senator Ted Kennedy, who has three Portuguese water dogs, made them a present of a puppy called Charlie that had been returned to its breeders because he didn't suit.

It being Washington, where conspiracies spread like viruses, some people are suggesting that Charlie, renamed Bo by the Obamas, was always intended for them but they had to make it look as if he was rescued. In the event, a hasty donation was sent off to the Washington Humane Society. The conspiracy theory has also been fed by the fact that the litter of 10 puppies was born in October and named after the President's Hope and Change policies by the breeder, Arthur Stern, who owns the Amigo Kennels in Boyd, Texas. Bo's full title is Amigo's New Hope. His siblings have names like Amigo's Great Hope and Amigo's Change to Believe In. It's hardly a consideration in this case but Portuguese water dogs make good watchdogs and apparently have a distinctive bark that is loud and multi-octave. And they may engage in "expressive panting" by making a "ha ha ha ha" sound as if laughing at a private joke. This pup will need a sense of humour having been named after a cat belonging to cousins and because Michelle Obama's father was nicknamed Diddley. With his webbed feet, feline name and all the political baggage he already carries (never mind rejection by his first owners), the poor wee thing will need a shrink. Meanwhile, our very own Mabel is recovering well from the snub to her breed. She says sniffily: "Just cause he's the president, everyone's too afraid to tell him he's bought a barking duck!"

When I first met the lads from Take That, they were just starting out in the early 1990s. They were a funny, lively, friendly and very polite group of kids who had obviously been well brought up by their mums, with whom they are all close. They leapt to their feet when I came in to their London hotel room, shook hands and introduced themselves. Robbie Williams was the cheeky charmer, quick-witted and silver-tongued, and I remember his sparkly eyes so full of life. Next time we met, towards the end of the 1990s, he was kicking a football disconsolately around a field in Barbados with some young locals, having left the group to forge his solo career. The eyes were suspicious and defensive. I couldn't help thinking that the price of his immense success was the comradeship he had with Gary Barlow, Jason Orange, Mark Owen and Howard Donald. He moved to the States, where he thought people weren't so interested in his every move, but in the last few years he has battled with self-esteem, depression and substance abuse, and had multiple stays in rehab clinics. He has also developed an obsessive interest in UFOs and the paranormal. In December, he announced he was planning to relocate to the UK and rumours have abounded that he would rejoin Take That. He bought a £7 million (Dh38m) home in Wiltshire and has a new tattoo of the Take That logo on his right arm. The Daily Mirror quoted him as saying the differences between him and other band members had "melted away" and that he was impressed at how much fun they were all having since their successful relaunch in 2006 with the strongest hint that he was ready to rejoin. Not so, says Barlow, the group's prolific songwriter. "People constantly ask if Robbie will rejoin us but nothing has changed," he told Chris Moyles, the BBC Radio 1 presenter. "We're a happy band right now. Robbie won't be joining." Williams hardly needs the money and the group's comeback has been a huge success, so why would Barlow want to divide the spoils between five rather than four? Still only 35 years old, it's probably time Robbie grew up and realised the guys have moved on. Why I should feel sorry for a young man worth more than £90m (Dh491 trillion) I don't know, but I do. He seems like such a troubled soul.

The Queen of England's daughter possesses that very English upper crust parsimony in which handmade suits and expensive coats are remodelled and passed down through generations. Princess Anne was a slender UK size 10 in her twenties and has kept her enviable figure. At 56, she still fits into the outfits she wore years ago and sees no reason to get rid of them. She has always remained determinedly unfashionable and has had the same hairstyle for nearly 30 years. When she was younger she would have it blow dried occasionally but, with the impatience inherited from her notoriously acerbic father, she disdains such fripperies and most of the time does it herself. Her choice of Easter bonnet was a classic example of her "make do and mend" philosophy. It was a combination of tatty old sun hat attached to a scarf with a little bunch of berries stuck on the back. I know times are hard but going to church looking like an extra from the children's television show Bill and Ben the Flower Pot men was taking retro fashion a bit too far.

I'm ashamed to say I've watched the YouTube clip of the woman climbing into the polar bear enclosure in Germany and being mauled by one of the world's largest carnivores several times with horrified fascination. I feel ashamed because it's like rubbernecking at a car crash and because the woman must be seriously disturbed. Yet you wonder what on earth she could have been thinking. The clip very quickly became one of the website's most watched.