The American children's author Todd Parr has a new book out titled It's Okay to Make Mistakes, aimed at kids between the ages of 4 and 6. The colourful pages are full of simple messages of acceptance and self-love. It's OK to have big hair and not feel ashamed about it. It's OK to fall down, because you can always get back up (alongside a picture of a child who has fallen off a horse). Colouring outside the lines is not a crime either. (And apparently it's also OK to eat dinner in the bath while wearing your underwear on your head, but this is a whole other can of worms.)
Parr’s take on parenting is quite refreshing - the fact that he does not have kids of his own probably has a lot to do with it - and the book has several feel-good moments. Heaven knows we do not want our children to develop insecurities about their haystack hair or the picture of the orange they’ve just filled in that looks like it was done by the cat (“Er, it’s beautiful, honey, let’s give it to Grandma”).
But then I turned over a page in the book and came across this little gem: “It’s OK to spill milk ... You can always clean it up.”
Now, when faced with such an accident, some mothers probably smile and say: “Whoops! But no matter, let’s clean it together.”
Others (and I am one of this breed) go nuts.
I can only imagine the horror that would have been unleashed in my home if my son, now 12, had been told as a 4-year-old that it’s OK to up-end his cup of milk. He’d certainly have felt absolutely at peace with himself while going about knocking stuff over on a whim because it’s just the kind of thing young kids love to do, while rarely showing remorse.
And this is the trouble with Parr’s book – while telling children it’s OK to make mistakes, he forgets to add that it’s not OK to make the same mistakes all the time.
But this could be worked into a sequel that introduces such ideas as: 1) It’s OK to fall down but remember to grip the reins tighter and draw your knees in at your next riding lesson. Falling off a horse can hurt you. 2) It’s OK to have big hair but you could have regular hair if you allowed Mum to brush it before going to school. 3) It’s OK to feel lonely but not if you called your best friend an idiot and he won’t play with you anymore. Apologise. 4) It’s OK not to succeed the first time but try again and again. 5) It’s OK to colour outside the lines but it does make for an untidy picture (as Grandma will no doubt tell you). 6) It’s OK to spill your milk but do watch out next time Mum hands you a cup.
My son learnt this last lesson quite quickly in his childhood because, as he found out, mopping up a spill is harder than it looks. And so he has grown into a tween who is careful around stuff that has the potential to make a big sodden mess.
Parr should really think about that sequel. It’s bound to be a bestseller.
ciyer@thenational.ae