We all know that most men would rather chew off their right leg than seek out a new trend – say, the new statement bag from Dolce. Yet ask a man to grow some facial hair, throw in an element of charitable goodwill and, well, we’re onto something.
The moustache – one of the few things shared by revolutionaries, artists, musicians, 1970s dads, serial killers and dictators. Whether it be the hipster version of machismo, the “Handlebar”, the “Pencil” or the “Western walrus”, this Movember, many will try; few will succeed.
Poor chaps – I feel for you, I really do. It isn’t easy, is it? You’re chastised for sticking to the safety-in-numbers code (short back and sides with a clean shave) and hung out to dry if you dare to experiment.
Yet Movember gives an excuse; a point to preening the plumes. The charity side of things provides a much-needed pass, so the world is absolutely clear that usually you wouldn’t give the authoritative ’tache more than a smirk.
Normally, I’d start with a few don’ts, begging you to stay away from the gimmicks, unless the rest of your attire is hands-in-the-air exciting. But, alas, this is a month for the impostor, so we’ll allow you to revel in all your Freddie Mercury glory.
A “good” moustache, however, isn’t a free-for-all. It needs deliberating, planning and mulling over – everything gentlemen tend to hate. So here are a few pointers that you may wish to ponder.
Let’s start with the “Macho”, also fondly known as the “Selleck” (after Tom Selleck), which was popularised in the 1970s and 80s in American culture – it involves covering the area between the nose and the upper lip in full. These days, perhaps solely reserved for the kidnapper look, it certainly isn’t going to give you a leg up to the world’s best-dressed list. But if smoke-tint lenses, polyester and white vans are your thing, then it’s up for grabs.
One needs to adopt a certain element of fun to pull off the “Dalí”, for attaining an air of nonchalance is more difficult than one would think. Named after the surrealist painter, the shape is formed by long, tapered points that curve steeply upwards towards the cheek. An alpha-male lady-killer you are not.
Next come the “Handlebar” and the “Horseshoe”. The first, according to the official Handlebar Club, must have “graspable extremities” to count; the second consists of a full moustache with vertical extensions from the corners of the lips to the jaw. Owning either is a commitment. Think modern cowboy or Hulk Hogan.
For those who struggle to grow more than a few whiskers... well, I’m sorry about that. It must be tough for you out there. The “Pencil”, a neat fine line on the upper lip popularised by Clark Gable (who somehow made it mannerly and manly), may be a good option.
Let’s wrap things up with the “Toothbrush”, a funny little number that involves cropping the edges to line up with each nostril. It was once popularised by Charlie Chaplin – and later forever ruined by a particularly monstrous German dictator.
For all of the above, wear at your own risk. And remember, without a hefty lick of irony or dandyism, what we’re looking at might come off as earth-shudderingly sinister.
weekend@thenational.ae
Follow us @LifeNationalUAE
Follow us on Facebook for discussions, entertainment, reviews, wellness and news.
Tu%20Jhoothi%20Main%20Makkaar%20
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ELuv%20Ranjan%26nbsp%3B%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ERanbir%20Kapoor%2C%20Shraddha%20Kapoor%2C%20Anubhav%20Singh%20Bassi%20and%20Dimple%20Kapadia%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%203%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
BMW M5 specs
Engine: 4.4-litre twin-turbo V-8 petrol enging with additional electric motor
Power: 727hp
Torque: 1,000Nm
Transmission: 8-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 10.6L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh650,000
The Rub of Time: Bellow, Nabokov, Hitchens, Travolta, Trump and Other Pieces 1986-2016
Martin Amis,
Jonathan Cape
Auron Mein Kahan Dum Tha
Starring: Ajay Devgn, Tabu, Shantanu Maheshwari, Jimmy Shergill, Saiee Manjrekar
Director: Neeraj Pandey
Rating: 2.5/5
Singham Again
Director: Rohit Shetty
Stars: Ajay Devgn, Kareena Kapoor Khan, Ranveer Singh, Akshay Kumar, Tiger Shroff, Deepika Padukone
Rating: 3/5
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
More on animal trafficking
BUNDESLIGA FIXTURES
Friday (all kick-offs UAE time)
Hertha Berlin v Union Berlin (10.30pm)
Saturday
Freiburg v Werder Bremen (5.30pm)
Paderborn v Hoffenheim (5.30pm)
Wolfsburg v Borussia Dortmund (5.30pm)
Borussia Monchengladbach v Bayer Leverkusen (5.30pm)
Bayern Munich v Eintracht Frankfurt (5.30pm)
Sunday
Schalke v Augsburg (3.30pm)
Mainz v RB Leipzig (5.30pm)
Cologne v Fortuna Dusseldorf (8pm)
The National's picks
4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
9.30pm: Forever Young
Specs
Engine: Dual-motor all-wheel-drive electric
Range: Up to 610km
Power: 905hp
Torque: 985Nm
Price: From Dh439,000
Available: Now
3%20Body%20Problem
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECreators%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20David%20Benioff%2C%20D%20B%20Weiss%2C%20Alexander%20Woo%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarring%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EBenedict%20Wong%2C%20Jess%20Hong%2C%20Jovan%20Adepo%2C%20Eiza%20Gonzalez%2C%20John%20Bradley%2C%20Alex%20Sharp%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%203%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The%20specs%3A%202024%20Mercedes%20E200
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2.0-litre%20four-cyl%20turbo%20%2B%20mild%20hybrid%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E204hp%20at%205%2C800rpm%20%2B23hp%20hybrid%20boost%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E320Nm%20at%201%2C800rpm%20%2B205Nm%20hybrid%20boost%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETransmission%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E9-speed%20auto%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFuel%20consumption%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E7.3L%2F100km%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EOn%20sale%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENovember%2FDecember%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFrom%20Dh205%2C000%20(estimate)%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
SPECS
Toyota land Cruiser 2020 5.7L VXR
Engine: 5.7-litre V8
Transmission: eight-speed automatic
Power: 362hp
Torque: 530Nm
Price: Dh329,000 (base model 4.0L EXR Dh215,900)
How to turn your property into a holiday home
- Ensure decoration and styling – and portal photography – quality is high to achieve maximum rates.
- Research equivalent Airbnb homes in your location to ensure competitiveness.
- Post on all relevant platforms to reach the widest audience; whether you let personally or via an agency know your potential guest profile – aiming for the wrong demographic may leave your property empty.
- Factor in costs when working out if holiday letting is beneficial. The annual DCTM fee runs from Dh370 for a one-bedroom flat to Dh1,200. Tourism tax is Dh10-15 per bedroom, per night.
- Check your management company has a physical office, a valid DTCM licence and is licencing your property and paying tourism taxes. For transparency, regularly view your booking calendar.
Benefits of first-time home buyers' scheme
- Priority access to new homes from participating developers
- Discounts on sales price of off-plan units
- Flexible payment plans from developers
- Mortgages with better interest rates, faster approval times and reduced fees
- DLD registration fee can be paid through banks or credit cards at zero interest rates
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Red flags
- Promises of high, fixed or 'guaranteed' returns.
- Unregulated structured products or complex investments often used to bypass traditional safeguards.
- Lack of clear information, vague language, no access to audited financials.
- Overseas companies targeting investors in other jurisdictions - this can make legal recovery difficult.
- Hard-selling tactics - creating urgency, offering 'exclusive' deals.
Courtesy: Carol Glynn, founder of Conscious Finance Coaching
Why are asylum seekers being housed in hotels?
The number of asylum applications in the UK has reached a new record high, driven by those illegally entering the country in small boats crossing the English Channel.
A total of 111,084 people applied for asylum in the UK in the year to June 2025, the highest number for any 12-month period since current records began in 2001.
Asylum seekers and their families can be housed in temporary accommodation while their claim is assessed.
The Home Office provides the accommodation, meaning asylum seekers cannot choose where they live.
When there is not enough housing, the Home Office can move people to hotels or large sites like former military bases.
Ferrari 12Cilindri specs
Engine: naturally aspirated 6.5-liter V12
Power: 819hp
Torque: 678Nm at 7,250rpm
Price: From Dh1,700,000
Available: Now
The specs
AT4 Ultimate, as tested
Engine: 6.2-litre V8
Power: 420hp
Torque: 623Nm
Transmission: 10-speed automatic
Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)
On sale: Now
Drishyam 2
Directed by: Jeethu Joseph
Starring: Mohanlal, Meena, Ansiba, Murali Gopy
Rating: 4 stars
