Since achieving global fame in 2000, Coldplay have elicited devotion and derision in equal measure. The question, then, is whether the British four-piece are one of the best bands of their generation – or the most overrated? Rob Garratt and Saeed Saeed state their cases.
They are overrated
Coldplay produce quintessentially mundane muzak for the masses. They are utterly innocuous, bitterly anodyne and completely forgettable audio dishwater, swilling round the empty ears of listeners too lazy or ignorant to seek out anything less agreeable.
Put simply, Coldplay make music for people who don’t like music.
The Coldplay formula: cycle a dull, harmonically satisfying piano ostinato, insert a whiny, falsetto Chris Martin vocal, and repeat ad nauseam.
Just listen to the endless ennui of Clocks or – actually, don't. It must be the most undiverting piece of music ever composed.
Coldplay are so dull, I can’t even muster the energy to hate them. I just protest the totally disproportionate level of success they have achieved, fuelled by the fawning excitement of fans who get their hot music picks from YouTube’s advert-driven algorithms.
It is hard to believe now, but in their early days, Coldplay were almost cool, loftily tipped by the UK music press to be the next Radiohead. In early 2000, as a teenage indie kid, I handed over cash to help second single Shiver reach the lofty heights of No35 in the UK chart, and queued to buy debut album Parachutes on day of release.
Call me misty eyed, but while never quite the revelation we were promised, this early work was much more diverting than what was to come.
By 2002's prosaic follow-up, A Rush of Blood to the Head, my uncool big brother was in on the act. And when my mother bought 2005's collective yawn X& Y, it became clear any spark had long ago fizzled out.
It got worse. The band’s more recent flirtations with dance and urban elements are beyond embarrassing. The bitter reports I’ve heard from fans who were at their last Abu Dhabi appearance – a lacklustre NYE countdown in 2011, when they were on stage for only about an hour – do little to endear them to me. If you’re going to be boring, at least be nice.
“They’re a Marmite band,” someone told me. No, they are not. Marmite divides people because its taste is bold and distinctive – the antithesis of Coldplay’s flavourless audio broth.
* Rob Garratt
They are one of the best
It is easy to see why Coldplay became so successful. When they emerged, we were reaching the peak of the Nu-Metal period – a genre that was so stodgy and full of narcissistic naval gazing – and the public were looking for music that was more hopeful and organic.
Enter Coldplay, with their simple lyricism and a standard, yet evocative, rock arrangement.
The band broke into the charts in 2000 and with their seven albums have been a mainstay ever since.
The backlash began as early as the second album, 2002's A Rush of Blood to the Head, and their fate was sealed with the release of 2005's X&Y, the album that propelled them to into the realms of the arena and, eventually, stadium act.
The band no longer “belonged” to that select group of self-appointed tastemakers, but to “the people” and boy, did the snobs hate that.
Let’s look at some of the charges levelled at the band:
The lyrics are lame.
Perhaps, but then, so are most pop lyrics, let's be honest. And it has also been a feature of the band's music from the start. Their first single, 2000's Shiver has lines such as: "From the moment I wake/ To the moment I sleep/ I'll be there by your side." Not exactly Shakespeare but, funny enough, there were few complaints from the tastemakers raving about the band back then.
The music is all the same.
Only if you are not paying attention. From the low-fi indie aesthetics of A Rush of Blood to the Head to the art-rock leanings of Viva La Vida, or Death to all his Friends each Coldplay album – for better or worse – had a clearly defined musical concept.
To lump it all together is the same as stating that U2 and Bruce Springsteen have sounded the same for the past 30 years.
They are too nice.
No, it is simple self awareness. That’s perhaps the key to the group’s success and solidarity. They keep their heads down and get on with it.
Derision is often responded to with self deprecation and praise. In a way, it is a brilliant Akido-type move that leaves the accuser resembling a musical grinch.
In any case, I suspect the group struggle to hear the hate among the roar of the huge crowds they play to every night.
* Saeed Saeed
2025 Fifa Club World Cup groups
Group A: Palmeiras, Porto, Al Ahly, Inter Miami.
Group B: Paris Saint-Germain, Atletico Madrid, Botafogo, Seattle.
Group C: Bayern Munich, Auckland City, Boca Juniors, Benfica.
Group D: Flamengo, ES Tunis, Chelsea, (Leon banned).
Group E: River Plate, Urawa, Monterrey, Inter Milan.
Group F: Fluminense, Borussia Dortmund, Ulsan, Mamelodi Sundowns.
Group G: Manchester City, Wydad, Al Ain, Juventus.
Group H: Real Madrid, Al Hilal, Pachuca, Salzburg.
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
The National's picks
4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
9.30pm: Forever Young
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
What is Folia?
Prince Khaled bin Alwaleed bin Talal's new plant-based menu will launch at Four Seasons hotels in Dubai this November. A desire to cater to people looking for clean, healthy meals beyond green salad is what inspired Prince Khaled and American celebrity chef Matthew Kenney to create Folia. The word means "from the leaves" in Latin, and the exclusive menu offers fine plant-based cuisine across Four Seasons properties in Los Angeles, Bahrain and, soon, Dubai.
Kenney specialises in vegan cuisine and is the founder of Plant Food Wine and 20 other restaurants worldwide. "I’ve always appreciated Matthew’s work," says the Saudi royal. "He has a singular culinary talent and his approach to plant-based dining is prescient and unrivalled. I was a fan of his long before we established our professional relationship."
Folia first launched at The Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills in July 2018. It is available at the poolside Cabana Restaurant and for in-room dining across the property, as well as in its private event space. The food is vibrant and colourful, full of fresh dishes such as the hearts of palm ceviche with California fruit, vegetables and edible flowers; green hearb tacos filled with roasted squash and king oyster barbacoa; and a savoury coconut cream pie with macadamia crust.
In March 2019, the Folia menu reached Gulf shores, as it was introduced at the Four Seasons Hotel Bahrain Bay, where it is served at the Bay View Lounge. Next, on Tuesday, November 1 – also known as World Vegan Day – it will come to the UAE, to the Four Seasons Resort Dubai at Jumeirah Beach and the Four Seasons DIFC, both properties Prince Khaled has spent "considerable time at and love".
There are also plans to take Folia to several more locations throughout the Middle East and Europe.
While health-conscious diners will be attracted to the concept, Prince Khaled is careful to stress Folia is "not meant for a specific subset of customers. It is meant for everyone who wants a culinary experience without the negative impact that eating out so often comes with."
About Okadoc
Date started: Okadoc, 2018
Founder/CEO: Fodhil Benturquia
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Healthcare
Size: (employees/revenue) 40 staff; undisclosed revenues recording “double-digit” monthly growth
Funding stage: Series B fundraising round to conclude in February
Investors: Undisclosed
Specs
Engine: Dual-motor all-wheel-drive electric
Range: Up to 610km
Power: 905hp
Torque: 985Nm
Price: From Dh439,000
Available: Now
The rules of the road keeping cyclists safe
Cyclists must wear a helmet, arm and knee pads
Have a white front-light and a back red-light on their bike
They must place a number plate with reflective light to the back of the bike to alert road-users
Avoid carrying weights that could cause the bike to lose balance
They must cycle on designated lanes and areas and ride safe on pavements to avoid bumping into pedestrians
Blackpink World Tour [Born Pink] In Cinemas
Starring: Rose, Jisoo, Jennie, Lisa
Directors: Min Geun, Oh Yoon-Dong
Rating: 3/5
PROFILE OF SWVL
Started: April 2017
Founders: Mostafa Kandil, Ahmed Sabbah and Mahmoud Nouh
Based: Cairo, Egypt
Sector: transport
Size: 450 employees
Investment: approximately $80 million
Investors include: Dubai’s Beco Capital, US’s Endeavor Catalyst, China’s MSA, Egypt’s Sawari Ventures, Sweden’s Vostok New Ventures, Property Finder CEO Michael Lahyani
