'The Princess Switch' (left) and 'A Christmas Prince' tick plenty of boxes when it comes to familiar festive movie plots and characters. Photo: Netflix
'The Princess Switch' (left) and 'A Christmas Prince' tick plenty of boxes when it comes to familiar festive movie plots and characters. Photo: Netflix
'The Princess Switch' (left) and 'A Christmas Prince' tick plenty of boxes when it comes to familiar festive movie plots and characters. Photo: Netflix
'The Princess Switch' (left) and 'A Christmas Prince' tick plenty of boxes when it comes to familiar festive movie plots and characters. Photo: Netflix

How to write a Christmas movie: the 10 festive film clichés you must include


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It’s fair to say that every film genre has its tropes, clichés and stereotypes.

If you’re watching an action movie, you can be pretty sure that at some point there will be a fight or a car crash that no actual person would survive.

Ditto romcoms, in which two people with absolutely nothing in common will be walking down the aisle by the time the credits roll. That’s just love, though, right?

For those with a taste for dystopia, you can bet that the youngster with the odd yet remarkably on-point survival skills living out in the sticks will ultimately be leading the revolution before you get to the bottom of your tub of popcorn.

That’s not to criticise the clichés. After all, they’re part and parcel of what makes a movie fun.

With that in mind, if you’ve been bingeing on festive films, and thinking to yourself: “Hang on, haven’t I seen this plot or character before?”, then you might like to try your hand at writing your own Christmas movie.

And if you do, here are 10 plot devices and characters to include …

The female lead must be a journalist, writer or blogger

You’ll need a female protagonist who lives in a huge, shabby-chic apartment right in the heart of LA, Chicago or London – apparently these are the only cities in Christmas movies.

She must have plenty of free time to meet her only friend (see below) for coffee as well as the financial resources to jet off to fake European countries (again, see below) at a moment’s notice.

But rather than make her a wealthy chief executive or even an airline pilot, which would be handy what with all the jetting off, she must only be a journalist, writer or blogger. They make loads of money, right?

Start with a voice-over

How else will you set the tone for the entire film if not for a voice-over telling your audience what to think?

Anything else would involve stuff like “using your imagination” and “writing dialogue” in a way that “explained” things.

No. Far easier to have your female journalist / writer / blogger kick things off by saying: “It started, as it always does, with …” before mentioning something that has never realistically started anything. Like a pineapple stuck in an air conditioning filter or something.

Add plenty of royals (and fake European countries)

Royals are big business in Christmas movies.

Be sure to give them suitably uptight names that really hammer home how posh and rich they are because American audiences love that kind of thing.

The Grand Archduke Snooty of Poshington, or Countess Swiss Bank Account of House Patek Phillippe – that kind of thing.

You’ll also need a made-up European-sounding country, because setting your film in Belgium simply won’t do. Something like Eurolandia, the Principality of Pattisserivia, Romania, Moldova … No, wait, those last two are real.

Bonus points for having a couple of conniving courtiers in the palace.

The main characters must hate each other

It’s either hate one another with a passion or enjoy a ridiculous case of mistaken identity when they first meet.

"Oh, so you thought I was genuinely a circus acrobat when what I was actually doing was trying to source some ice cream for my pet marmoset monkey!"

Or: "And you thought I was trying to rob you when in actual fact I was merely borrowing your prize-winning turnip in order to ensure the local children’s Christmas play went off without a hitch!"

The elaborate scheme

You can be as elaborate as you like, but ultimately the only plot device you need is the one where the main characters pretend to be the boyfriend or girlfriend of the other main character in order to keep their marriage-obsessed parents off their back for the duration of the festive period.

But will they fall in love for real by the end credits? Who knows!

(Spoiler: Yes. Yes they will.)

The inappropriate character

The inappropriate character is the Falstaffian foil called upon to introduce awkwardness when the script starts to flag.

Cut to old folks doing “youth” stuff like TikTok dances or saying “lit”. Preternaturally mature young children giving simple-yet-sage life advice to adults in ways that make you start to question the intelligence of your own offspring. The wacky cousin who drops by for the holidays to crash on your couch and walk around the apartment in just their underpants and a snorkel mask.

The only friend

Main characters require a best friend. Only one though. People in Christmas movies only have one friend, and they rely on that person for absolutely everything. Truly, it must be mentally and emotionally draining being the Christmas movie best friend.

The friend must be available to the journalist / writer / blogger (or architect / lawyer / vaguely outdoorsy person if they're male) at all times and across all time zones.

Initially they will give stupid advice which the main character will follow blindly. Later, they will speak only in platitudes and say stuff like: “You need to follow your heart” as if that absolves them from all their previously rubbish guidance.

The weird boss

As well as only having one friend, the main character will have a relationship with their boss that no one has ever had in the history of boss-worker relationships.

The boss will do random stuff like turn up unannounced at their huge apartment with a llama in tow, join them in the office bathroom stall for chats about a date they just went on, and fly across the country or perhaps the world to visit them because they “sensed” they were needed. Rather than just email and ask where the annual reports are the way a normal boss would.

Bonding over something utterly obscure

“You enjoy underwater basket weaving in Bhutanese salt lakes at high tide when there’s a Z in the month? Oh wow, me too!”

“You love the hermit Mongolian pseudo-fantasy fiction literary genre? That's crazy, so do I!”

“You’re allergic to the sticky part of Post-it notes? This is almost unbelievably insane!”

Have a message

Look, no one’s going to care about your Christmas movie without “the message.”

And if it’s not ultimately about stopping being such a workaholic so you can meet your future spouse, or stepping out of your comfort zone so you can meet your future spouse, or making some absolutely ridiculously stupid life-changing decision (egged on by “the only friend”) so you can meet your future spouse, then it’s back to the drawing board for a rewrite.

French business

France has organised a delegation of leading businesses to travel to Syria. The group was led by French shipping giant CMA CGM, which struck a 30-year contract in May with the Syrian government to develop and run Latakia port. Also present were water and waste management company Suez, defence multinational Thales, and Ellipse Group, which is currently looking into rehabilitating Syrian hospitals.

10 tips for entry-level job seekers
  • Have an up-to-date, professional LinkedIn profile. If you don’t have a LinkedIn account, set one up today. Avoid poor-quality profile pictures with distracting backgrounds. Include a professional summary and begin to grow your network.
  • Keep track of the job trends in your sector through the news. Apply for job alerts at your dream organisations and the types of jobs you want – LinkedIn uses AI to share similar relevant jobs based on your selections.
  • Double check that you’ve highlighted relevant skills on your resume and LinkedIn profile.
  • For most entry-level jobs, your resume will first be filtered by an applicant tracking system for keywords. Look closely at the description of the job you are applying for and mirror the language as much as possible (while being honest and accurate about your skills and experience).
  • Keep your CV professional and in a simple format – make sure you tailor your cover letter and application to the company and role.
  • Go online and look for details on job specifications for your target position. Make a list of skills required and set yourself some learning goals to tick off all the necessary skills one by one.
  • Don’t be afraid to reach outside your immediate friends and family to other acquaintances and let them know you are looking for new opportunities.
  • Make sure you’ve set your LinkedIn profile to signal that you are “open to opportunities”. Also be sure to use LinkedIn to search for people who are still actively hiring by searching for those that have the headline “I’m hiring” or “We’re hiring” in their profile.
  • Prepare for online interviews using mock interview tools. Even before landing interviews, it can be useful to start practising.
  • Be professional and patient. Always be professional with whoever you are interacting with throughout your search process, this will be remembered. You need to be patient, dedicated and not give up on your search. Candidates need to make sure they are following up appropriately for roles they have applied.

Arda Atalay, head of Mena private sector at LinkedIn Talent Solutions, Rudy Bier, managing partner of Kinetic Business Solutions and Ben Kinerman Daltrey, co-founder of KinFitz

The specs

Engine: 6.2-litre supercharged V8

Power: 712hp at 6,100rpm

Torque: 881Nm at 4,800rpm

Transmission: 8-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 19.6 l/100km

Price: Dh380,000

On sale: now 

Islamophobia definition

A widely accepted definition was made by the All Party Parliamentary Group on British Muslims in 2019: “Islamophobia is rooted in racism and is a type of racism that targets expressions of Muslimness or perceived Muslimness.” It further defines it as “inciting hatred or violence against Muslims”.

Another way to earn air miles

In addition to the Emirates and Etihad programmes, there is the Air Miles Middle East card, which offers members the ability to choose any airline, has no black-out dates and no restrictions on seat availability. Air Miles is linked up to HSBC credit cards and can also be earned through retail partners such as Spinneys, Sharaf DG and The Toy Store.

An Emirates Dubai-London round-trip ticket costs 180,000 miles on the Air Miles website. But customers earn these ‘miles’ at a much faster rate than airline miles. Adidas offers two air miles per Dh1 spent. Air Miles has partnerships with websites as well, so booking.com and agoda.com offer three miles per Dh1 spent.

“If you use your HSBC credit card when shopping at our partners, you are able to earn Air Miles twice which will mean you can get that flight reward faster and for less spend,” says Paul Lacey, the managing director for Europe, Middle East and India for Aimia, which owns and operates Air Miles Middle East.

WHAT IS A BLACK HOLE?

1. Black holes are objects whose gravity is so strong not even light can escape their pull

2. They can be created when massive stars collapse under their own weight

3. Large black holes can also be formed when smaller ones collide and merge

4. The biggest black holes lurk at the centre of many galaxies, including our own

5. Astronomers believe that when the universe was very young, black holes affected how galaxies formed

PRESIDENTS CUP

Draw for Presidents Cup fourball matches on Thursday (Internationals first mention). All times UAE:

02.32am (Thursday): Marc Leishman/Joaquin Niemann v Tiger Woods/Justin Thomas
02.47am (Thursday): Adam Hadwin/Im Sung-jae v Xander Schauffele/Patrick Cantlay
03.02am (Thursday): Adam Scott/An Byeong-hun v Bryson DeChambeau/Tony Finau
03.17am (Thursday): Hideki Matsuyama/CT Pan v Webb Simpson/Patrick Reed
03.32am (Thursday): Abraham Ancer/Louis Oosthuizen v Dustin Johnson/Gary Woodland

The specs
 
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Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
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Starring: Vijay, Sneha, Prashanth, Prabhu Deva, Mohan
Director: Venkat Prabhu
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The Sand Castle

Director: Matty Brown

Stars: Nadine Labaki, Ziad Bakri, Zain Al Rafeea, Riman Al Rafeea

Rating: 2.5/5

Sleep Well Beast
The National
4AD

Our legal consultant

Name: Dr Hassan Mohsen Elhais

Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.

UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Zombieland: Double Tap

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Stars: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone

Four out of five stars 

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Alan Rushbridger, Canongate

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What the law says

Micro-retirement is not a recognised concept or employment status under Federal Decree Law No. 33 of 2021 on the Regulation of Labour Relations (as amended) (UAE Labour Law). As such, it reflects a voluntary work-life balance practice, rather than a recognised legal employment category, according to Dilini Loku, senior associate for law firm Gateley Middle East.

“Some companies may offer formal sabbatical policies or career break programmes; however, beyond such arrangements, there is no automatic right or statutory entitlement to extended breaks,” she explains.

“Any leave taken beyond statutory entitlements, such as annual leave, is typically regarded as unpaid leave in accordance with Article 33 of the UAE Labour Law. While employees may legally take unpaid leave, such requests are subject to the employer’s discretion and require approval.”

If an employee resigns to pursue micro-retirement, the employment contract is terminated, and the employer is under no legal obligation to rehire the employee in the future unless specific contractual agreements are in place (such as return-to-work arrangements), which are generally uncommon, Ms Loku adds.

Her most famous song

Aghadan Alqak (Would I Ever Find You Again)?

Would I ever find you again
You, the heaven of my love, my yearning and madness;
You, the kiss to my soul, my cheer and
sadness?
Would your lights ever break the night of my eyes again?
Would I ever find you again?
This world is volume and you're the notion,
This world is night and you're the lifetime,
This world is eyes and you're the vision,
This world is sky and you're the moon time,
Have mercy on the heart that belongs to you.

Lyrics: Al Hadi Adam; Composer: Mohammed Abdel Wahab

Lexus LX700h specs

Engine: 3.4-litre twin-turbo V6 plus supplementary electric motor

Power: 464hp at 5,200rpm

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Transmission: 10-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 11.7L/100km

On sale: Now

Price: From Dh590,000

Updated: December 09, 2021, 3:32 AM