Contrary to popular belief, it's not only money that makes the world go around. It’s also entertainment. And we, the viewer, sit firmly at the centre of it. We not only crave it, we expect it from most of the content we consume.
Top-tier reality TV entertainment is what I expected when I sat to watch the first episode of the third season of Netflix’s hit reality show, Dubai Bling. And I did what I always do when watching reality TV – ignore my immediate responsibilities to watch the lives of a group of Dubai influencers and entrepreneurs, though the actual 'reality' of what we see has always remained suspect.
Halfway through episode one though, I checked my email. Then I got up to make a snack, without pausing the show. I also noticed how messy my kitchen was and decided to re-organise my cutlery drawer. I wondered if I should bake some cookies. Then, a friend called and it was a good time to catch up.
"What is that in the background you’re watching?" she asked.
"Oh, nothing," I responded.
This is the greatest crime a reality show can make – not to be a worthy topic of conversation.
I don’t write this with joy. I was the biggest cheerleader of Dubai Bling season one and even season two, which I felt had its shortcomings that I hoped would get ironed out in season three. Wrong.
Things have gotten worse.
So what was the problem? After forcing myself to consume as much of the season as I could, I realised the issue was apparent from one of the first scenes in the first episode.
In the scene, entrepreneur Mona Kattan is hosting a New Year’s Eve dinner and invites the rest of the cast to start the year with positive intentions, and possibly heal relationships between warring factions in the group.
However, one of the cast members, influencer Farhana Bodi, refuses to greet fellow cast member Safa Siddiqui. Bodi, we soon find out, had earlier gotten wind that Siddiqui has been telling friends that Bodi does not own her Birkin bags, but rents them instead (writing that line was more entertaining than watching the scene).
The whole cast, more than 10 of them, are standing to discuss the issue with each other, while facing the camera. We already let it slide that this was a New Year's Eve party filmed sometime in the middle of last year, but this seemingly forced conversation, where everyone is breaking the fourth wall while looking at each other in a mock social set-up feels insulting to our suspension of disbelief.
This same dynamic is repeated throughout the season, where every scene feels staged beyond reasonable doubt.
To be clear, reality TV has long been by definition a manipulated medium, this we know. Producers and cast actively create artificial scenarios and contexts in order to generate or magnify existing issues and drama. This is all marketed as “real”, depending on your definition of what real is. I, like many others, choose to believe that a themed dinner party, a fashion show or a girls trip is the perfect place to bring up old gripes, such as not following the strict dress code at a wedding or dating someone’s ex.
Why? For two reasons.
First, cast members’ feelings in these moments are often valid to them and the potency of their truth is translated through the screen. Second, producers create realistic atmospheres where we as voyeurs feel as though we’re watching something that is intimately happening between a group of close-knit friends.
Whether this is accurate or not doesn’t matter. The illusion is so flawless, we choose to believe and be entertained by it.
But in season three of Dubai Bling, cast members have seemingly abandoned all pretenses of normalcy. Someone throws a funeral for a Lamborghini. And someone buys the trademark of another cast member’s business for the sole purpose of a storyline on a show.
What am I watching?
There is a true art to unfolding drama on a reality TV show and Dubai Bling turned it into a paint by numbers – it's two dimensional and boring.
It's a shame because there are some important life experiences that some of the cast members go through. From health issues to complications with divorce and co-parenting or balancing friendships and business partners, these are not boring topics. However, similarly to season two, these issues are not given the depth they deserve and each scene feels like a race to the next showdown.
Dubai Bling season three
Cast: Loujain Adada, Zeina Khoury, Farhana Bodi, Ebraheem Al Samadi, Mona Kattan, and couples Safa & Fahad Siddiqui and DJ Bliss & Danya Mohammed
Rating: 1/5
From slow-motion entrances and the uncoordinated ways topics are brought up for the cameras, to the fashion – which, far from being avant-garde is mostly a case of tacky costume peacocking – it was all too much, too desperate, too transparent to be taken as good quality reality TV.
The point of this genre is to sit and enjoy frivolous, wholesome drama that is manufactured to our benefit. Not to watch something that feels so staged it insults our intelligence as viewers and feels like a farce.
Afghanistan fixtures
- v Australia, today
- v Sri Lanka, Tuesday
- v New Zealand, Saturday,
- v South Africa, June 15
- v England, June 18
- v India, June 22
- v Bangladesh, June 24
- v Pakistan, June 29
- v West Indies, July 4
Countdown to Zero exhibition will show how disease can be beaten
Countdown to Zero: Defeating Disease, an international multimedia exhibition created by the American Museum of National History in collaboration with The Carter Center, will open in Abu Dhabi a month before Reaching the Last Mile.
Opening on October 15 and running until November 15, the free exhibition opens at The Galleria mall on Al Maryah Island, and has already been seen at the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library and Museum in Atlanta, the American Museum of Natural History in New York, and the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine.
Scoreline
Syria 1-1 Australia
Syria Al Somah 85'
Australia Kruse 40'
French Touch
Carla Bruni
(Verve)
Our legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
Heather, the Totality
Matthew Weiner,
Canongate
Women & Power: A Manifesto
Mary Beard
Profile Books and London Review of Books
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
The Light of the Moon
Director: Jessica M Thompson
Starring: Stephanie Beatriz, Michael Stahl-David
Three stars
The biog
Name: James Mullan
Nationality: Irish
Family: Wife, Pom; and daughters Kate, 18, and Ciara, 13, who attend Jumeirah English Speaking School (JESS)
Favourite book or author: “That’s a really difficult question. I’m a big fan of Donna Tartt, The Secret History. I’d recommend that, go and have a read of that.”
Dream: “It would be to continue to have fun and to work with really interesting people, which I have been very fortunate to do for a lot of my life. I just enjoy working with very smart, fun people.”
The biog
Name: Atheja Ali Busaibah
Date of birth: 15 November, 1951
Favourite books: Ihsan Abdel Quddous books, such as “The Sun will Never Set”
Hobbies: Reading and writing poetry
Name: Peter Dicce
Title: Assistant dean of students and director of athletics
Favourite sport: soccer
Favourite team: Bayern Munich
Favourite player: Franz Beckenbauer
Favourite activity in Abu Dhabi: scuba diving in the Northern Emirates
Greatest Royal Rumble results
John Cena pinned Triple H in a singles match
Cedric Alexander retained the WWE Cruiserweight title against Kalisto
Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt win the Raw Tag Team titles against Cesaro and Sheamus
Jeff Hardy retained the United States title against Jinder Mahal
Bludgeon Brothers retain the SmackDown Tag Team titles against the Usos
Seth Rollins retains the Intercontinental title against The Miz, Finn Balor and Samoa Joe
AJ Styles remains WWE World Heavyweight champion after he and Shinsuke Nakamura are both counted out
The Undertaker beats Rusev in a casket match
Brock Lesnar retains the WWE Universal title against Roman Reigns in a steel cage match
Braun Strowman won the 50-man Royal Rumble by eliminating Big Cass last
I Feel Pretty
Dir: Abby Kohn/Mark Silverstein
Starring: Amy Schumer, Michelle Williams, Emily Ratajkowski, Rory Scovel
MATCH INFO
Chelsea 1
Alonso (62')
Huddersfield Town 1
Depoitre (50')
Last 10 NBA champions
2017: Golden State bt Cleveland 4-1
2016: Cleveland bt Golden State 4-3
2015: Golden State bt Cleveland 4-2
2014: San Antonio bt Miami 4-1
2013: Miami bt San Antonio 4-3
2012: Miami bt Oklahoma City 4-1
2011: Dallas bt Miami 4-2
2010: Los Angeles Lakers bt Boston 4-3
2009: Los Angeles Lakers bt Orlando 4-1
2008: Boston bt Los Angeles Lakers 4-2
MATCH INFO
What: 2006 World Cup quarter-final
When: July 1
Where: Gelsenkirchen Stadium, Gelsenkirchen, Germany
Result:
England 0 Portugal 0
(Portugal win 3-1 on penalties)
The Outsider
Stephen King, Penguin
The more serious side of specialty coffee
While the taste of beans and freshness of roast is paramount to the specialty coffee scene, so is sustainability and workers’ rights.
The bulk of genuine specialty coffee companies aim to improve on these elements in every stage of production via direct relationships with farmers. For instance, Mokha 1450 on Al Wasl Road strives to work predominantly with women-owned and -operated coffee organisations, including female farmers in the Sabree mountains of Yemen.
Because, as the boutique’s owner, Garfield Kerr, points out: “women represent over 90 per cent of the coffee value chain, but are woefully underrepresented in less than 10 per cent of ownership and management throughout the global coffee industry.”
One of the UAE’s largest suppliers of green (meaning not-yet-roasted) beans, Raw Coffee, is a founding member of the Partnership of Gender Equity, which aims to empower female coffee farmers and harvesters.
Also, globally, many companies have found the perfect way to recycle old coffee grounds: they create the perfect fertile soil in which to grow mushrooms.
Brief scoreline:
Burnley 3
Barnes 63', 70', Berg Gudmundsson 75'
Southampton 3
Man of the match
Ashley Barnes (Burnley)
THE BIO
Mr Al Qassimi is 37 and lives in Dubai
He is a keen drummer and loves gardening
His favourite way to unwind is spending time with his two children and cooking
The specs
Engine: 3.8-litre, twin-turbo V8
Transmission: seven-speed automatic
Power: 592bhp
Torque: 620Nm
Price: Dh980,000
On sale: now
Why your domicile status is important
Your UK residence status is assessed using the statutory residence test. While your residence status – ie where you live - is assessed every year, your domicile status is assessed over your lifetime.
Your domicile of origin generally comes from your parents and if your parents were not married, then it is decided by your father. Your domicile is generally the country your father considered his permanent home when you were born.
UK residents who have their permanent home ("domicile") outside the UK may not have to pay UK tax on foreign income. For example, they do not pay tax on foreign income or gains if they are less than £2,000 in the tax year and do not transfer that gain to a UK bank account.
A UK-domiciled person, however, is liable for UK tax on their worldwide income and gains when they are resident in the UK.
Quarter-finals
Saturday (all times UAE)
England v Australia, 11.15am
New Zealand v Ireland, 2.15pm
Sunday
Wales v France, 11.15am
Japan v South Africa, 2.15pm
MATCH INFO
Jersey 147 (20 overs)
UAE 112 (19.2 overs)
Jersey win by 35 runs
MATCH INFO
Red Star Belgrade v Tottenham Hotspur, midnight (Thursday), UAE
TEAMS
US Team
Dustin Johnson, Jordan Spieth
Justin Thomas, Daniel Berger
Brooks Koepka, Rickie Fowler
Kevin Kisner, Patrick Reed
Matt Kuchar, Kevin Chappell
Charley Hoffman*, Phil Mickelson*
International Team
Hideki Matsuyama, Jason Day
Adam Scott, Louis Oosthuizen
Marc Leishman, Charl Schwartzel
Branden Grace, Si Woo Kim
Jhonattan Vegas, Adam Hadwin
Emiliano Grillo*, Anirban Lahiri*
* denotes captain's picks
MATCH DETAILS
Manchester United 3
Greenwood (21), Martial (33), Rashford (49)
Partizan Belgrade 0
liverpool youngsters
Ki-Jana Hoever
The only one of this squad to have scored for Liverpool, the versatile Dutchman impressed on his debut at Wolves in January. He can play right-back, centre-back or in midfield.
Herbie Kane
Not the most prominent H Kane in English football but a 21-year-old Bristolian who had a fine season on loan at Doncaster last year. He is an all-action midfielder.
Luis Longstaff
Signed from Newcastle but no relation to United’s brothers Sean and Matty, Luis is a winger. An England Under-16 international, he helped Liverpool win the FA Youth Cup last season.
Yasser Larouci
An 18-year-old Algerian-born winger who can also play as a left-back, Larouci did well on Liverpool’s pre-season tour until an awful tackle by a Sevilla player injured him.
Adam Lewis
Steven Gerrard is a fan of his fellow Scouser, who has been on Liverpool’s books since he was in the Under-6s, Lewis was a midfielder, but has been converted into a left-back.
FIGHT INFO
Men’s 60kg Round 1:
Ahmad Shuja Jamal (AFG) beat Krisada Takhiankliang (THA) - points
Hyan Aljmyah (SYR) beat Akram Alyminee (YEM) - retired Round 1
Ibrahim Bilal (UAE) beat Bhanu Pratap Pandit (IND) - TKO Round 1
Men’s 71kg Round 1:
Seyed Kaveh Soleyman (IRI) beat Abedel Rahman (JOR) - RSC round 3.
Amine Al Moatassime (UAE) walk over Ritiz Puri (NEP)
Bombshell
Director: Jay Roach
Stars: Nicole Kidman, Charlize Theron, Margot Robbie
Four out of five stars
KILLING OF QASSEM SULEIMANI
Sholto Byrnes on Myanmar politics
If you go...
Etihad flies daily from Abu Dhabi to Zurich, with fares starting from Dh2,807 return. Frequent high speed trains between Zurich and Vienna make stops at St. Anton.
Cricket World Cup League Two
Teams
Oman, UAE, Namibia
Al Amerat, Muscat
Results
Oman beat UAE by five wickets
UAE beat Namibia by eight runs
Namibia beat Oman by 52 runs
UAE beat Namibia by eight wickets
Fixtures
Saturday January 11 - UAE v Oman
Sunday January 12 – Oman v Namibia
Results
2.30pm: Handicap (PA) Dh40,000 1,700m; Winner: AF Mezmar, Adam McLean (jockey), Ernst Oertel (trainer).
3pm: Maiden (PA) Dh40,000 2,000m; Winner: AF Ajwad, Tadhg O’Shea, Ernst Oertel.
3.30pm: Handicap (PA) Dh40,000 1,200m; Winner: Gold Silver, Sam Hitchcott, Ibrahim Aseel.
4pm: Maiden (PA) Dh40,000 1,000m; Winner: Atrash, Richard Mullen, Ana Mendez.
4.30pm: Gulf Cup Prestige (PA) Dh150,000 1,700m; Winner: AF Momtaz, Saif Al Balushi, Musabah Al Muhairi.
5pm: Handicap (TB) Dh40,000 1,200m; Winner: Al Mushtashar, Richard Mullen, Satish Seemar.
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Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Honeymoonish
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Kill%20
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DUBAI%20BLING%3A%20EPISODE%201
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How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
City's slump
L - Juventus, 2-0
D - C Palace, 2-2
W - N Forest, 3-0
L - Liverpool, 2-0
D - Feyenoord, 3-3
L - Tottenham, 4-0
L - Brighton, 2-1
L - Sporting, 4-1
L - Bournemouth, 2-1
L - Tottenham, 2-1
Dubai Bling season three
Cast: Loujain Adada, Zeina Khoury, Farhana Bodi, Ebraheem Al Samadi, Mona Kattan, and couples Safa & Fahad Siddiqui and DJ Bliss & Danya Mohammed
Rating: 1/5
