Prometheus falling: "The intellectual advancement that Prometheus stood for has been cheapened."
Prometheus falling: "The intellectual advancement that Prometheus stood for has been cheapened."

The Fire Gospel



Michel Faber's slimmer works are unified by a corrosive misanthropy that runs rampant here, writes Hephzibah Anderson.

The Fire Gospel Michel Faber Canongate Dh42
Over the past few years, contemporary fiction has been pulling the ancients' gods down to earth with a thunk. Marie Phillips' Gods Behaving Badly forced Apollo and his pals to slum it in modern day London, while Jeanette Winterson depicted Heracles as a boastful lout in Weight. The latter novel was part of Canongate's Myths series, the latest instalment of which finds Michel Faber wrestling with the demigod Prometheus. Along the way, he also re-imagines Jesus as a shockingly human figure whose last words were not "It is finished" but an altogether less heroic "Please, somebody, please finish me."

In classical tales, Prometheus stole fire back from Zeus and returned it to earth. As punishment, the granddaddy of the gods chained Prometheus to a rock so that an eagle could feast on his liver. Each night it grew back, condemning him to more of the same torture. Faber recasts Prometheus as Theo Griepenkerl, a podgy Canadian academic sent to Iraq to secure the loan of precious artefacts in return for restitution money. The museum has already been looted and as a curator shows Theo around, a passing politician's limousine is blown up, killing the curator. The blast also damages a heavily pregnant bas-relief goddess. Nine scrolls of papyrus spill from her cracked body.

Dodging chaos and carnage, Theo makes it back to Canada, smuggling the scrolls with him. "A higher agency wanted him to have them," he tells himself, reasoning that the wrecked museum didn't even know it owned them. Around 2,000 years old, they turn out to be the memoirs of Malchus, a first-century Christian convert who helped arrest Jesus, experienced an epiphany at the crucifixion and thereafter devoted himself to spreading the gospel.

As a devout atheist, Theo is unmoved by the scrolls' content, but dollar signs flash before his eyes. These scrolls will make him rich. He promptly sets about translating the Aramaic into English and hooking himself up with a publisher. His book, titled The Fifth Gospel, proves incendiary. It rockets up the bestseller lists and he soon finds himself whisked off on a North American author tour. Theo is intensely dislikeable. Needy, greedy and utterly self-obsessed, his character flaws are only accentuated by life as a published author. Unfortunately, most of the people he encounters are equally unappealing. Not that the novel is without humour. Faber riffs especially wittily on Theo's obsession with his Amazon sales ranking and conjures up convincing reader reviews in all their misspelt nuttiness.

People heckle Theo's readings and stage public bonfires of his book. He is immolated with a "glower of hate" from a wheelchair-bound woman who tries to pull a gun on him. And then, at a bookstore event in New York, he is abducted. Theo's assailants are Nuri, "a handsome Arab, with a glossy black kiss-curl and cupid lips," and a man known only as "the white guy". Both are clichés - Nuri is a sweetheart deep down if you can only overlook that pesky anti-Semitism, while his accomplice looks like "a circus clown after five courses of chemotherapy." Together they are "Two men, two faiths, one mission," that mission being to put an end to The Fifth Gospel, if not Theo himself.

Faber is best known for his novel The Crimson Petal and the White, a hefty slab of candied Victoriana, but his slimmer works are unified by a corrosive misanthropy that runs rampant here. In the farce that ensues, the classical parallels get lost. Ultimately, the novel is a bleak satire on the publishing industry and a world in which the intellectual advancement that Prometheus stood for has been cheapened to who-cares-what, so long as it captures a share of the Da Vinci Code's market.

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
 
Started: 2021
 
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
 
Based: Tunisia 
 
Sector: Water technology 
 
Number of staff: 22 
 
Investment raised: $4 million 
Skewed figures

In the village of Mevagissey in southwest England the housing stock has doubled in the last century while the number of residents is half the historic high. The village's Neighbourhood Development Plan states that 26% of homes are holiday retreats. Prices are high, averaging around £300,000, £50,000 more than the Cornish average of £250,000. The local average wage is £15,458. 

Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
 
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
 
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
 
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
 
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
Our family matters legal consultant

Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais

Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.

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WHAT IS A BLACK HOLE?

1. Black holes are objects whose gravity is so strong not even light can escape their pull

2. They can be created when massive stars collapse under their own weight

3. Large black holes can also be formed when smaller ones collide and merge

4. The biggest black holes lurk at the centre of many galaxies, including our own

5. Astronomers believe that when the universe was very young, black holes affected how galaxies formed

In numbers: PKK’s money network in Europe

Germany: PKK collectors typically bring in $18 million in cash a year – amount has trebled since 2010

Revolutionary tax: Investigators say about $2 million a year raised from ‘tax collection’ around Marseille

Extortion: Gunman convicted in 2023 of demanding $10,000 from Kurdish businessman in Stockholm

Drug trade: PKK income claimed by Turkish anti-drugs force in 2024 to be as high as $500 million a year

Denmark: PKK one of two terrorist groups along with Iranian separatists ASMLA to raise “two-digit million amounts”

Contributions: Hundreds of euros expected from typical Kurdish families and thousands from business owners

TV channel: Kurdish Roj TV accounts frozen and went bankrupt after Denmark fined it more than $1 million over PKK links in 2013 

The specs: 2018 Nissan Altima


Price, base / as tested: Dh78,000 / Dh97,650

Engine: 2.5-litre in-line four-cylinder

Power: 182hp @ 6,000rpm

Torque: 244Nm @ 4,000rpm

Transmission: Continuously variable tranmission

Fuel consumption, combined: 7.6L / 100km