Kristin Hersh first began to hear her own songs when she was 16, concussed in hospital after a "witch" in a car knocked her off her bicycle. But they didn't come to her, as they did in Paul McCartney's dreams, as gloriously melodic epics. In her memoir, Paradoxical Undressing, she calls the sound in her head a "metallic whining, like industrial noise… layered with humming tones and wind chimes".
And yet Hersh was able to tame these strange sounds into some of the most influential American rock music of the late 1980s. Her band, Throwing Muses, laid the groundwork for much of Nirvana's success in the way her stark, anguished material contained just enough of a pop sensibility to make sense.
Since then, Hersh has recorded 20 albums of material that she now gives away free, and is firmly fixed as something of an indie icon. But Paradoxical Undressing isn't some hoary old memoir full of tall tales of life on the road and rock excess. Instead, it's an intimate snapshot of one year of Hersh's life as an 18-year-old, based on the diary she kept at the time.
She says in the foreword that "this wasn't a year when a lot happened, in my opinion". Well, not much apart from living in a squat, having a breakdown, being wrongly diagnosed with schizophrenia, then correctly with bipolar disorder, moving to Boston, landing a record contract and making her band's first album... and having her first baby.
"I had thought this was a dark year which I never wanted to return to, a year to be ashamed of," she admits, munching on a digestive biscuit in a London hotel. "But to write this I had to return to that period in my mind, and I realised that it was actually quite a lovely, sweet time. I wanted to capture the light as well as the dark. As a band and friends we were goofballs, puppy dogs. Being diagnosed bipolar, I was worried that we wouldn't have shared perceptions, but in fact all the people in the book who have read it have said: 'Yes, that was what it was like'."
It takes hearing Hersh reading excerpts from the book - which she does later that night at the Bloomsbury Theatre, as well as play songs from the time - to understand fully the inherent humour in what's often a difficult book. Tellingly, she explains to the audience that she's going to leave out the bits where her delirium and hallucinations put her in hospital because she doesn't like reading them "and you probably won't want to hear them".
Still, such difficult chapters do give us an incredible insight into her remarkably conflicted mind, and how that expressed itself in song. The unique way in which she writes frightens her but is also the source of her creativity: Hersh still believes, to this day, that she doesn't invent her songs, but they come to her.
"It's a curse, but I worship what comes out of it," she says. "I think writing the book has helped me understand that I hear ambient noise, and the noises build up. So if there's a whirring fan in a room then the noise of that fan continues in my perception even when I've left the room. Then a car can drive by and the sound of it will keep driving by in my mind. This is the vocabulary that the song needs, and then it forms itself into something cohesive. I'm just listening the whole time."
And yet Hersh insists that her songs - which she admits are "pictures of what I've heard, snatches of conversation... an incorporation of all my senses" - are not autobiographical.
"I know this sounds odd, but the songs are an interpretation which is not fully mine. Sometimes I will come back to a song 10 years later and finally realise what it was talking about. I appreciate that this isn't far off schizophrenia and I understand why I was diagnosed as such - because you're talking about voices in your head that are describing what's going on in your life."
In fact, Hersh has spent her entire career downplaying the autobiographical element to her songs. I ask her whether that made it all the harder to write a memoir.
"I get lots of people saying 'of course, you were 18 then', but I don't think I've changed at all," she smiles. "I make it sound in the book like maybe I've worked things out but I still run away, I'm still bipolar, I still struggle with the music industry, I still get haunted by songs.
"The difference between a book and a song is that when you write a really good song, it's beneath your personality in a way. That's why songs resonate with other people, because you're not presenting yourself, you're presenting us as a people. But yes, this book is me, which makes it harder for me to believe that it was a good idea to publish it."
Not for the first time, her blue eyes sparkle and she laughs. On the very first page she admits that she's not the kind of person who writes books and she doesn't read them either, because she "can't sit still in the same place for long enough".
So why did she write Paradoxical Undressing? The answer is typical, contrary Hersh - she was approached to have a memoir ghostwritten, agreed, and then hated "months of sitting around talking about my feelings". But unfortunately management noticed that there wasn't a book and told her that she had to write it. It took her four years. But the results are startlingly original and truly moving.
"Basically, once I started it, it had to be good," she says. "I didn't want to sound 40 when I was supposed to be 18, and I wanted to try and work towards having a kind of melody and rhythm in the prose, too. I had to learn how to write without being clever or stupid, and once it found its own voice, I realised that the book had something that everybody wants: a little bit of peace. You can't control the maelstrom but you can control the peace you inject into it. And that's the only reason I published it really, for people like me who might also want a little bit of peace."
Paradoxical Undressing (Atlantic) is out now. Download songs in the book from www.kristinhersh.com.
MATCH INFO
Europa League final
Marseille 0
Atletico Madrid 3
Greizmann (21', 49'), Gabi (89')
Anghami
Started: December 2011
Co-founders: Elie Habib, Eddy Maroun
Based: Beirut and Dubai
Sector: Entertainment
Size: 85 employees
Stage: Series C
Investors: MEVP, du, Mobily, MBC, Samena Capital
The rules on fostering in the UAE
A foster couple or family must:
- be Muslim, Emirati and be residing in the UAE
- not be younger than 25 years old
- not have been convicted of offences or crimes involving moral turpitude
- be free of infectious diseases or psychological and mental disorders
- have the ability to support its members and the foster child financially
- undertake to treat and raise the child in a proper manner and take care of his or her health and well-being
- A single, divorced or widowed Muslim Emirati female, residing in the UAE may apply to foster a child if she is at least 30 years old and able to support the child financially
Squid Game season two
Director: Hwang Dong-hyuk
Stars: Lee Jung-jae, Wi Ha-joon and Lee Byung-hun
Rating: 4.5/5
The biog
Favourite books: 'Ruth Bader Ginsburg: A Life' by Jane D. Mathews and ‘The Moment of Lift’ by Melinda Gates
Favourite travel destination: Greece, a blend of ancient history and captivating nature. It always has given me a sense of joy, endless possibilities, positive energy and wonderful people that make you feel at home.
Favourite pastime: travelling and experiencing different cultures across the globe.
Favourite quote: “In the future, there will be no female leaders. There will just be leaders” - Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook.
Favourite Movie: Mona Lisa Smile
Favourite Author: Kahlil Gibran
Favourite Artist: Meryl Streep
The National's picks
4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
9.30pm: Forever Young
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
RESULTS
5pm: Wathba Stallions Cup – Maiden (PA) Dh70,000 (Dirt) 1,400m
Winner: Yas Xmnsor, Sean Kirrane (jockey), Khalifa Al Neyadi (trainer)
5.30pm: Falaj Hazza – Handicap (PA) Dh70,000 (D) 1,600m
Winner: Arim W’Rsan, Dane O’Neill, Jaci Wickham
6pm: Al Basrah – Maiden (PA) Dh70,000 (D) 1,800m
Winner: Kalifano De Ghazal, Abdul Aziz Al Balushi, Helal Al Alawi
6.30pm: Oud Al Touba – Handicap (PA) Dh70,000 (D) 1,800m
Winner: Pharitz Oubai, Sean Kirrane, Ibrahim Al Hadhrami
7pm: Sieh bin Amaar – Conditions (PA) Dh80,000 (D) 1,800m
Winner: Oxord, Richard Mullen, Abdalla Al Hammadi
7.30pm: Jebel Hafeet – Conditions (PA) Dh85,000 (D) 2,000m
Winner: AF Ramz, Sean Kirrane, Khalifa Al Neyadi
8pm: Al Saad – Handicap (TB) Dh70,000 (D) 2,000m
Winner: Sea Skimmer, Gabriele Malune, Kareem Ramadan
In numbers: PKK’s money network in Europe
Germany: PKK collectors typically bring in $18 million in cash a year – amount has trebled since 2010
Revolutionary tax: Investigators say about $2 million a year raised from ‘tax collection’ around Marseille
Extortion: Gunman convicted in 2023 of demanding $10,000 from Kurdish businessman in Stockholm
Drug trade: PKK income claimed by Turkish anti-drugs force in 2024 to be as high as $500 million a year
Denmark: PKK one of two terrorist groups along with Iranian separatists ASMLA to raise “two-digit million amounts”
Contributions: Hundreds of euros expected from typical Kurdish families and thousands from business owners
TV channel: Kurdish Roj TV accounts frozen and went bankrupt after Denmark fined it more than $1 million over PKK links in 2013
Ms Yang's top tips for parents new to the UAE
- Join parent networks
- Look beyond school fees
- Keep an open mind
Bharatanatyam
A ancient classical dance from the southern Indian state of Tamil Nadu. Intricate footwork and expressions are used to denote spiritual stories and ideas.
The specs
Engine: 1.5-litre turbo
Power: 181hp
Torque: 230Nm
Transmission: 6-speed automatic
Starting price: Dh79,000
On sale: Now
Dubai World Cup factbox
Most wins by a trainer: Godolphin’s Saeed bin Suroor(9)
Most wins by a jockey: Jerry Bailey(4)
Most wins by an owner: Godolphin(9)
Most wins by a horse: Godolphin’s Thunder Snow(2)
Asia Cup Qualifier
Final
UAE v Hong Kong
Live on OSN Cricket HD. Coverage starts at 5.30am
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