Give Me Everything You Have: On Being Stalked
James Lasdun
Jonathan Cape
In Ian McEwan's 1997 novel, Enduring Love, two men who joined forces in a failed attempt to save the life of a third are flung together a second time when one of them, still shell-shocked from the ordeal, sees the other as a means of alleviating his trauma. However, it isn't long before Jed shelves his grief and gratitude and develops new, more intense and entirely one-sided feelings of attraction towards his saviour, Joe. Jed suffers from de Clérambault's syndrome and his obsessive love turns him into a stalker. His mission is to wrest Joe from his girlfriend and his adherence to the rational world of science, and deliver him instead into his waiting arms and convert him to God's love. "Accept me, and you'll find yourself accepting God without a thought," he urges. "Show me your fury or bitterness. I won't mind. I'll never desert you. But never, never try to pretend to yourself that I do not exist."
London-born author James Lasdun found himself on the receiving end of similar delusional entreaties from one of his former creative writing students. His account of years spent as a victim of "verbal terrorism" at the hands of a woman whose obsessional love soon soured into obsessional hate is expertly chronicled in Give Me Everything You Have: On Being Stalked - the title of one of many chilling exhortations from the countless emails Lasdun was bombarded with. The book is incredibly candid, with Lasdun's dirty washing well and truly aired, and at one juncture Lasdun justifies his warts-and-all approach: "My interest here is in presenting this case in all its rich awfulness, not in preserving my dignity."
As with Joe and Jed, everything begins fairly innocuously. "Nasreen" (Lasdun has changed all names to protect the innocent, or in this case, the guilty) is a keen student who shows remarkable literary potential. The course ends and they engage in email correspondence - he charmed by her talent, fascinated by her Iranian background and flattered by her coquettish behaviour; she, unbeknownst to him, in thrall to his literary guru status.
But when Lasdun doesn't fall for her blandishments, the content of her emails becomes hostile, mostly anti-Semitic. Lasdun admits to being "bewildered, stunned, appalled" but despite the blatant harassment and undiluted vitriol, is shocked more by the tone of her missives rather than her perverse accusations.
Her "fugue of hatred" changes key in accordance with her volatile mood-swings, the mud-slinging sliding into crazed potshots. "Boycott this man, for God's sake. He's the reason behind terrorism," she writes. Presumably for self-styled verbal terrorists, it takes one to know one.
Lasdun stops writing but keeps each email with a view to future court action. Undaunted, his erstwhile devotee ups the "asymmetric warfare". One email stands out for containing the crux of her hatred: "I will ruin him."
Nasreen changes tack by waging a smear campaign to besmirch Lasdun's reputation. Taking advantage of the anonymity and "amorphousness" of the web, she doctors his Wikipedia page, slanders him in an Amazon review and even writes directly to Lasdun's employers, both college principals and literary editors, to hysterically denounce him as "a plagiarising sexual predator".
Too canny to actually issue a death threat, Nasreen still manages to shake Lasdun by launching death wishes - "I hope your kids die". And yet despite consultations with the FBI, a NYPD detective and a private security firm (the latter offering, through careful euphemism, to break Nasreen's legs) Lasdun remains hamstrung, told that the chances of securing a conviction are slim. And so the "psychodrama" continues, unhindered, and as Lasdun becomes increasingly depressed, anxious and paranoid, he begins to believe that his stalker will triumph by sheer force of attrition.
There is a moment in Lasdun's novel Seven Lies in which the protagonist remembers being bullied in his youth, labelled "Sloth" after unwittingly describing himself as one, and when sloth-paws are graffitied around school he partly blames himself - "They were the proliferant, bitter fruit of a tree that had its roots in my own being". The attack recorded here is all too real, with Lasdun having done nothing to provoke his antagonist's ire. He has been brave to confront his demon and it is the succession of blunt truths and open-heart confessions that makes his memoir such an engrossing read. Assailed by a fresh onslaught of unabridged poison-pen letters, we flinch and share Lasdun's sense of foreboding, but as with a car crash, find ourselves unable to look away or scroll on.
However, Lasdun must have decided early on that a tale that dwelt purely on his persecution ran the risk of self-aggrandising his plight or wearing down his readers.
Therefore, spliced with the drama of his personal story is a series of gimlet-eyed reflections on various topics as diverse as madness, post 9/11 Middle Eastern politics and the more insidious, indeed injurious, latitudes afforded to us in the internet age.
"There would be the armature of the case itself," Lasdun writes, synopsising his book, "but beyond it, if I could get it right, would be a larger story woven from memories, journeys, portraits, observations - all the stray psychic material that had been drawn into orbit around the drama."
He certainly gets it right. Such tangents are richly edifying and provide welcome relief from the claustrophobia of his tribulations which, though intriguing, are ultimately variations on the same theme.
We are told of two trips Lasdun made, both journalistic assignments, one across the United States by train, the other to Jerusalem, and each takes the form of a key artery from which pulse many diverting and interlocking strands: thoughts on Palestinian refugee camps, a fresco cycle in a Provence church, "the austere regime of boarding school", DH Lawrence in New Mexico, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight and even Tintin.
What's more, it is in these offshoots that we are reminded that novelist Lasdun is also a prize-winning poet: Egyptian Arabic sounds to him like "some plectrumed instrument being played with sudden, savage virtuosity"; narghiles have "long, coiling, tail-like tubes", the smoke "bubbling through the murky stomachs of water".
If there is fault to be found with the book it lies more in Lasdun the reader than Lasdun the writer. We read Nasreen's early emails and can spot the malignant germ, the clear imperfect imbalance of an unhinged mind. The tell-tale hints stick out like jagged barbs - "you love me james" and "I Google-stalked you … gain" - and yet Lasdun professes to feeling only "wary" and refuses to cut the connection.
The alarm bells don't ring loud enough when her flirting gives way to gossip and lies, and the tiny trickle of emails turns into a thick torrent, dozens per day, his gentle reproofs unable to stem the flow.
We can't see the appeal in this "fascinating friend" and become frustrated at his naivety and squandered time. When Nasreen starts a romance with an academic and forwards Lasdun their emails we have to wonder why he decides "to ignore this little undercurrent of weirdness" and not sever all links.
By the time he does stop writing it is too late. At the end of the book we learn, with amazement, "the saga has entered its fifth year". Still he is being hounded. "I will not let you go" runs the heading of one email earlier on, and it would appear she has kept her word.
This means no peace of mind for Lasdun and no cathartic release for the reader. When Lasdun says at one point that he prefers to write books that owe their existence to "an irresistible internal necessity" we realise this is one such book. Give Me Everything You Have is as compelling as it is terrifying, a book Lasdun had to write, perhaps as a way of dealing with the fact he has still not been set free.
Malcolm Forbes is a freelance essayist and reviewer.
Company%20Profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Astra%20Tech%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EMarch%202022%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDubai%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounder%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EAbdallah%20Abu%20Sheikh%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EIndustry%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20technology%20investment%20and%20development%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunding%20size%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20%24500m%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
In numbers: PKK’s money network in Europe
Germany: PKK collectors typically bring in $18 million in cash a year – amount has trebled since 2010
Revolutionary tax: Investigators say about $2 million a year raised from ‘tax collection’ around Marseille
Extortion: Gunman convicted in 2023 of demanding $10,000 from Kurdish businessman in Stockholm
Drug trade: PKK income claimed by Turkish anti-drugs force in 2024 to be as high as $500 million a year
Denmark: PKK one of two terrorist groups along with Iranian separatists ASMLA to raise “two-digit million amounts”
Contributions: Hundreds of euros expected from typical Kurdish families and thousands from business owners
TV channel: Kurdish Roj TV accounts frozen and went bankrupt after Denmark fined it more than $1 million over PKK links in 2013
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
Where to buy art books in the UAE
There are a number of speciality art bookshops in the UAE.
In Dubai, The Lighthouse at Dubai Design District has a wonderfully curated selection of art and design books. Alserkal Avenue runs a pop-up shop at their A4 space, and host the art-book fair Fully Booked during Art Week in March. The Third Line, also in Alserkal Avenue, has a strong book-publishing arm and sells copies at its gallery. Kinokuniya, at Dubai Mall, has some good offerings within its broad selection, and you never know what you will find at the House of Prose in Jumeirah. Finally, all of Gulf Photo Plus’s photo books are available for sale at their show.
In Abu Dhabi, Louvre Abu Dhabi has a beautiful selection of catalogues and art books, and Magrudy’s – across the Emirates, but particularly at their NYU Abu Dhabi site – has a great selection in art, fiction and cultural theory.
In Sharjah, the Sharjah Art Museum sells catalogues and art books at its museum shop, and the Sharjah Art Foundation has a bookshop that offers reads on art, theory and cultural history.
Learn more about Qasr Al Hosn
In 2013, The National's History Project went beyond the walls to see what life was like living in Abu Dhabi's fabled fort:
The National's picks
4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
9.30pm: Forever Young
The bio
His favourite book - 1984 by George Orwell
His favourite quote - 'If you think education is expensive, try ignorance' by Derek Bok, Former President of Harvard
Favourite place to travel to - Peloponnese, Southern Greece
Favourite movie - The Last Emperor
Favourite personality from history - Alexander the Great
Role Model - My father, Yiannis Davos
'Gehraiyaan'
Director:Shakun Batra
Stars:Deepika Padukone, Siddhant Chaturvedi, Ananya Panday, Dhairya Karwa
Rating: 4/5
Results
5pm: UAE Martyrs Cup (TB) Conditions Dh90,000 2,200m
Winner: Mudaarab, Jim Crowley (jockey), Erwan Charpy (trainer).
5.30pm: Wathba Stallions Cup (PA) Handicap Dh70,000 1,400m
Winner: Jawal Al Reef, Richard Mullen, Hassan Al Hammadi.
6pm: UAE Matyrs Trophy (PA) Maiden Dh80,000 1,600m
Winner: Salima Al Reef, Jesus Rosales, Abdallah Al Hammadi.
6.30pm: Sheikha Fatima bint Mubarak (IFAHR) Apprentice Championship (PA) Prestige Dh100,000 1,600m
Winner: Bainoona, Ricardo Iacopini, Eric Lemartinel.
7pm: Sheikha Fatima bint Mubarak (IFAHR) Ladies World Championship (PA) Prestige Dh125,000 1,600m
Winner: Assyad, Victoria Larsen, Eric Lemartinel.
8pm: Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan Jewel Crown (PA) Group 1 Dh5,000,000 1,600m
Winner: Mashhur Al Khalediah, Jean-Bernard Eyquem, Phillip Collington.
NO OTHER LAND
Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal
Stars: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham
Rating: 3.5/5
The rules on fostering in the UAE
A foster couple or family must:
- be Muslim, Emirati and be residing in the UAE
- not be younger than 25 years old
- not have been convicted of offences or crimes involving moral turpitude
- be free of infectious diseases or psychological and mental disorders
- have the ability to support its members and the foster child financially
- undertake to treat and raise the child in a proper manner and take care of his or her health and well-being
- A single, divorced or widowed Muslim Emirati female, residing in the UAE may apply to foster a child if she is at least 30 years old and able to support the child financially
World record transfers
1. Kylian Mbappe - to Real Madrid in 2017/18 - €180 million (Dh770.4m - if a deal goes through)
2. Paul Pogba - to Manchester United in 2016/17 - €105m
3. Gareth Bale - to Real Madrid in 2013/14 - €101m
4. Cristiano Ronaldo - to Real Madrid in 2009/10 - €94m
5. Gonzalo Higuain - to Juventus in 2016/17 - €90m
6. Neymar - to Barcelona in 2013/14 - €88.2m
7. Romelu Lukaku - to Manchester United in 2017/18 - €84.7m
8. Luis Suarez - to Barcelona in 2014/15 - €81.72m
9. Angel di Maria - to Manchester United in 2014/15 - €75m
10. James Rodriguez - to Real Madrid in 2014/15 - €75m
if you go
Getting there
Etihad (Etihad.com), Emirates (emirates.com) and Air France (www.airfrance.com) fly to Paris’ Charles de Gaulle Airport, from Abu Dhabi and Dubai respectively. Return flights cost from around Dh3,785. It takes about 40 minutes to get from Paris to Compiègne by train, with return tickets costing €19. The Glade of the Armistice is 6.6km east of the railway station.
Staying there
On a handsome, tree-lined street near the Chateau’s park, La Parenthèse du Rond Royal (laparenthesedurondroyal.com) offers spacious b&b accommodation with thoughtful design touches. Lots of natural woods, old fashioned travelling trunks as decoration and multi-nozzle showers are part of the look, while there are free bikes for those who want to cycle to the glade. Prices start at €120 a night.
More information: musee-armistice-14-18.fr ; compiegne-tourisme.fr; uk.france.fr
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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Anghami
Started: December 2011
Co-founders: Elie Habib, Eddy Maroun
Based: Beirut and Dubai
Sector: Entertainment
Size: 85 employees
Stage: Series C
Investors: MEVP, du, Mobily, MBC, Samena Capital
Profile of MoneyFellows
Founder: Ahmed Wadi
Launched: 2016
Employees: 76
Financing stage: Series A ($4 million)
Investors: Partech, Sawari Ventures, 500 Startups, Dubai Angel Investors, Phoenician Fund
Why your domicile status is important
Your UK residence status is assessed using the statutory residence test. While your residence status – ie where you live - is assessed every year, your domicile status is assessed over your lifetime.
Your domicile of origin generally comes from your parents and if your parents were not married, then it is decided by your father. Your domicile is generally the country your father considered his permanent home when you were born.
UK residents who have their permanent home ("domicile") outside the UK may not have to pay UK tax on foreign income. For example, they do not pay tax on foreign income or gains if they are less than £2,000 in the tax year and do not transfer that gain to a UK bank account.
A UK-domiciled person, however, is liable for UK tax on their worldwide income and gains when they are resident in the UK.
In-demand jobs and monthly salaries
- Technology expert in robotics and automation: Dh20,000 to Dh40,000
- Energy engineer: Dh25,000 to Dh30,000
- Production engineer: Dh30,000 to Dh40,000
- Data-driven supply chain management professional: Dh30,000 to Dh50,000
- HR leader: Dh40,000 to Dh60,000
- Engineering leader: Dh30,000 to Dh55,000
- Project manager: Dh55,000 to Dh65,000
- Senior reservoir engineer: Dh40,000 to Dh55,000
- Senior drilling engineer: Dh38,000 to Dh46,000
- Senior process engineer: Dh28,000 to Dh38,000
- Senior maintenance engineer: Dh22,000 to Dh34,000
- Field engineer: Dh6,500 to Dh7,500
- Field supervisor: Dh9,000 to Dh12,000
- Field operator: Dh5,000 to Dh7,000
BAD%20BOYS%3A%20RIDE%20OR%20DIE
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RESULTS
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3E9pm%3A%20Maiden%20(PA)%20Dh70%2C000%20(Dirt)%202%2C000m%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3EWinner%3A%20Mubhir%20Al%20Ain%2C%20Antonio%20Fresu%20(jockey)%2C%20Ahmed%20Al%20Mehairbi%20(trainer)%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3E9.30pm%3A%20Handicap%20(TB)%20Dh70%2C000%20(D)%202%2C000m%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3EWinner%3A%20Exciting%20Days%2C%20Oscar%20Chavez%2C%20Doug%20Watson%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3E10pm%3A%20Al%20Ain%20Cup%20%E2%80%93%20Prestige%20(PA)%20Dh100%2C000%20(D)%202%2C000m%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3EWinner%3A%20Suny%20Du%20Loup%2C%20Marcelino%20Rodrigues%2C%20Hamad%20Al%20Marar%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3E10.30pm%3A%20Maiden%20(PA)%20Dh70%2C000%20(D)%201%2C800m%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3EWinner%3A%20Jafar%20Des%20Arnets%2C%20Oscar%20Chavez%2C%20Ahmed%20Al%20Mehairbi%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3E11pm%3A%20Wathba%20Stallions%20Cup%20%E2%80%93%20Handicap%20(PA)%20Dh70%2C000%20(D)%201%2C600m%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3EWinner%3A%20Taj%20Al%20Izz%2C%20Richard%20Mullen%2C%20Ibrahim%20Al%20Hadhrami%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3E11.30pm%3A%20Maiden%20(PA)%20Dh70%2C000%20(D)%201%2C400m%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3EWinner%3A%20Majdy%2C%20Antonio%20Fresu%2C%20Jean%20de%20Roualle%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3E12am%3A%20Maiden%20(PA)%20Dh70%2C000%20(D)%201%2C400m%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3EWinner%3A%20Hamloola%2C%20Sam%20Hitchcott%2C%20Salem%20Al%20Ketbi%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Real estate tokenisation project
Dubai launched the pilot phase of its real estate tokenisation project last month.
The initiative focuses on converting real estate assets into digital tokens recorded on blockchain technology and helps in streamlining the process of buying, selling and investing, the Dubai Land Department said.
Dubai’s real estate tokenisation market is projected to reach Dh60 billion ($16.33 billion) by 2033, representing 7 per cent of the emirate’s total property transactions, according to the DLD.
What can you do?
Document everything immediately; including dates, times, locations and witnesses
Seek professional advice from a legal expert
You can report an incident to HR or an immediate supervisor
You can use the Ministry of Human Resources and Emiratisation’s dedicated hotline
In criminal cases, you can contact the police for additional support
WHAT IS A BLACK HOLE?
1. Black holes are objects whose gravity is so strong not even light can escape their pull
2. They can be created when massive stars collapse under their own weight
3. Large black holes can also be formed when smaller ones collide and merge
4. The biggest black holes lurk at the centre of many galaxies, including our own
5. Astronomers believe that when the universe was very young, black holes affected how galaxies formed
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
