“Tick tock, tick tock”. Pragya Agarwal repeatedly writes about the ticking hands of an analogue clock that are meant to serve as an ever-present reminder of a woman’s supposed “fertility window” – that according to her biological clock, her time to conceive children is running out. But “35 is no magical marker of a slippery slope into oblivion”, she writes in her latest book (M)otherhood: On the choices of being a woman.
The non-fiction tome is packed with research alongside Agarwal’s own experiences of motherhood, as she forms what she calls an “untraditional” family. She works through her thoughts about topics such as fertility, abortion and surrogacy, and explores how these subjects are interwoven with concepts such as choice, consent and agency.
“The notion of motherhood shapes so much of our lives, whether it be deciding not to be a mother, or having the burning desire to be a mother by any means possible,” writes Agarwal, who is a behaviour and data scientist and professor of social inequities and injustice in the UK. Her previous books include Wish We Knew What to Say: Talking with Children About Race and Sway: Unravelling Unconscious Bias.
In (M)otherhood, Agarwal references numerous poets, psychologists, doctors, studies, statistics and memoirs of other women, along with Biblical, Greek, Egyptian and Indian mythology, to show how the role of motherhood has been deemed the ultimate realisation of womanhood since time immemorial.
Agarwal also deconstructs modern-day motherhood – from the cultural gender roles that pressure women to choose raising kids over cultivating their careers, to the normative images and fertility advertisements that they are bombarded with – all while relating her own memories over the past 30 years.
Writing and 'mothering' during lockdown
(M)otherhood was commissioned in March 2020 by Canongate Books. “It kind of flowed out of me really,” she tells The National, ahead of her talk and panel discussion sessions on February 12 at the 2022 Emirates Airline Festival of Literature. “I was intensely mothering and writing this book during the whole lockdown. It was really high-pressure.”
Much of her memoir covers the mental and physical trauma of fertility treatments, and the eventual birth of her twins through surrogacy. Now aged 5, the twins were at home with Agarwal without schooling or childcare, while she penned her book.
Agarwal writes that the pandemic highlighted privilege inequities, and that she is “acutely aware” of her own privilege. Her book mentions the killing of George Floyd, which sparked the global #BlackLivesMatter movement, as well as India’s recent Surrogacy (Regulation) Bill, which was passed to help protect underprivileged women at risk of being exploited for their wombs through transnational, commercial surrogacy.
She writes that “being a mother is considered the most natural state” of women across cultures in the East and the West, and says that while there are other memoirs on motherhood out there, they’re often centred on a white, middle-class perspective. “This is rooted in systemic hierarchies that are set up in our society,” she says. “We don’t hear stories of women of colour, working-class people or nonbinary people, and all those stories are worthwhile as well.”
Part memoir, part social critique
“I think we’re having more open discussions around motherhood – it has become such a pertinent topic after the pandemic because we’ve been so intensely parenting during this time,” says Agarwal, who draws on her Indian heritage and behavioural research while analysing how motherhood and feminism have typically been perceived as binary.
“While I was growing up, I saw this model: if you’re choosing motherhood, then you have to be steeped into patriarchy, where your role models are self-sacrificial mothers. They don’t come first; they do everything for the children and for the family. And on the other side were the outliers to the norm, rebelling against these traditions,” she explains.
Agarwal examines her own role in the “system” of patriarchy, which is at odds with her fundamentally feminist ideals. “I always believed that feminism meant rejecting these traditional models of womanhood because I internalised that womanhood is deeply associated with fertility and being a mother. But I don’t think they should be binary choices, because there are grey spaces in between where we can imbibe both these roles,” she says.
This is why Agarwal decided to keep the letter “M” in brackets, in her title, (M)otherhood. “It’s about the ‘otherhood’ in motherhood,” she explains. “I wanted to show through cultural and historical analysis and research that a woman’s fertility has been so tied with these feminine roles that we have to play in our society. We’re not always given the choice, or the space to be ambivalent about this choice and to say, ‘actually I don’t want to be a mother and I don’t need to justify that to anybody’”.
Agarwal points out the problematic nature of using insensitive medical terms such as “inhospitable uterus”, and cites an urban myth from the 1940s that links infertility with women who had “too much” ambition and education, thus perpetuating stigmas about women in the workforce – a realm culturally and historically reserved for men.
Challenging gender roles
“When we create binary ideologies of masculinity and femininity, we get trapped in these traditional roles and stereotypes that are socially determined and deeply embedded in our society. Unless we talk about dismantling binary ideologies of masculinity and femininity, we cannot change these social attitudes and beliefs,” says Agarwal, vocalising the motivations that lie at the heart of her work.
In the same way that Agarwal analyses societal preconceptions around womanhood in (M)otherhood, in her earlier book, Sway: Unravelling Unconscious Bias, which was published in 2020 by Bloomsbury, she dissects how our brains unintentionally label people by race. She describes how we form implicit biases, and questions how we can overcome them. These are the conversations she hopes to be a part of at the Emirates Airline Festival of Literature, where she will be discussing her book, Sway, and appearing on a panel about the stereotypes and struggles surrounding motherhood.
“I can only see myself as a small cog, and I think that the conversations at the literary festival will be stimulating, about how we create change. Our world is changing – at the moment we are in this really unsettled phase of trying to establish identities and sometimes we fall back on these historical tropes of nationalistic identity, or gender identity,” she explains.
“The books I write are about how we can question status quos, because it’s easier to believe in and conform to them since they’re already there. It’s more difficult and more cognitively dissonant for us to reject them, and try to unlearn behaviours. We all have these biases, we all have these internalised prejudices, but we can question them – every little conversation can help change attitudes and beliefs.”
Tickets for Pragya Agarwal’s sessions are available at www.emirateslitfest.com
Points to remember
- Debate the issue, don't attack the person
- Build the relationship and dialogue by seeking to find common ground
- Express passion for the issue but be aware of when you're losing control or when there's anger. If there is, pause and take some time out.
- Listen actively without interrupting
- Avoid assumptions, seek understanding, ask questions
RESULTS
Argentina 4 Haiti 0
Peru 2 Scotland 0
Panama 0 Northern Ireland 0
if you go
The flights
Flydubai flies to Podgorica or nearby Tivat via Sarajevo from Dh2,155 return including taxes. Turkish Airlines flies from Abu Dhabi and Dubai to Podgorica via Istanbul; alternatively, fly with Flydubai from Dubai to Belgrade and take a short flight with Montenegro Air to Podgorica. Etihad flies from Abu Dhabi to Podgorica via Belgrade. Flights cost from about Dh3,000 return including taxes. There are buses from Podgorica to Plav.
The tour
While you can apply for a permit for the route yourself, it’s best to travel with an agency that will arrange it for you. These include Zbulo in Albania (www.zbulo.org) or Zalaz in Montenegro (www.zalaz.me).
SPEC%20SHEET%3A%20APPLE%20M3%20MACBOOK%20AIR%20(13%22)
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Petrarch: Everywhere a Wanderer
Christopher Celenza,
Reaktion Books
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The Details
Kabir Singh
Produced by: Cinestaan Studios, T-Series
Directed by: Sandeep Reddy Vanga
Starring: Shahid Kapoor, Kiara Advani, Suresh Oberoi, Soham Majumdar, Arjun Pahwa
Rating: 2.5/5
White hydrogen: Naturally occurring hydrogen
Chromite: Hard, metallic mineral containing iron oxide and chromium oxide
Ultramafic rocks: Dark-coloured rocks rich in magnesium or iron with very low silica content
Ophiolite: A section of the earth’s crust, which is oceanic in nature that has since been uplifted and exposed on land
Olivine: A commonly occurring magnesium iron silicate mineral that derives its name for its olive-green yellow-green colour
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Zayed Sustainability Prize
Iraq negotiating over Iran sanctions impact
- US sanctions on Iran’s energy industry and exports took effect on Monday, November 5.
- Washington issued formal waivers to eight buyers of Iranian oil, allowing them to continue limited imports. Iraq did not receive a waiver.
- Iraq’s government is cooperating with the US to contain Iranian influence in the country, and increased Iraqi oil production is helping to make up for Iranian crude that sanctions are blocking from markets, US officials say.
- Iraq, the second-biggest producer in the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries, pumped last month at a record 4.78 million barrels a day, former Oil Minister Jabbar Al-Luaibi said on Oct. 20. Iraq exported 3.83 million barrels a day last month, according to tanker tracking and data from port agents.
- Iraq has been working to restore production at its northern Kirkuk oil field. Kirkuk could add 200,000 barrels a day of oil to Iraq’s total output, Hook said.
- The country stopped trucking Kirkuk oil to Iran about three weeks ago, in line with U.S. sanctions, according to four people with knowledge of the matter who asked not to be identified because they aren’t allowed to speak to media.
- Oil exports from Iran, OPEC’s third-largest supplier, have slumped since President Donald Trump announced in May that he’d reimpose sanctions. Iran shipped about 1.76 million barrels a day in October out of 3.42 million in total production, data compiled by Bloomberg show.
- Benchmark Brent crude fell 47 cents to $72.70 a barrel in London trading at 7:26 a.m. local time. U.S. West Texas Intermediate was 25 cents lower at $62.85 a barrel in New York. WTI held near the lowest level in seven months as concerns of a tightening market eased after the U.S. granted its waivers to buyers of Iranian crude.
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
Started: 2021
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
Based: Tunisia
Sector: Water technology
Number of staff: 22
Investment raised: $4 million
The%20specs
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UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
The specs
Engine: 4.0-litre V8 twin-turbocharged and three electric motors
Power: Combined output 920hp
Torque: 730Nm at 4,000-7,000rpm
Transmission: 8-speed dual-clutch automatic
Fuel consumption: 11.2L/100km
On sale: Now, deliveries expected later in 2025
Price: expected to start at Dh1,432,000
HOW TO WATCH
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More on Quran memorisation:
Electric scooters: some rules to remember
- Riders must be 14-years-old or over
- Wear a protective helmet
- Park the electric scooter in designated parking lots (if any)
- Do not leave electric scooter in locations that obstruct traffic or pedestrians
- Solo riders only, no passengers allowed
- Do not drive outside designated lanes
What the law says
Micro-retirement is not a recognised concept or employment status under Federal Decree Law No. 33 of 2021 on the Regulation of Labour Relations (as amended) (UAE Labour Law). As such, it reflects a voluntary work-life balance practice, rather than a recognised legal employment category, according to Dilini Loku, senior associate for law firm Gateley Middle East.
“Some companies may offer formal sabbatical policies or career break programmes; however, beyond such arrangements, there is no automatic right or statutory entitlement to extended breaks,” she explains.
“Any leave taken beyond statutory entitlements, such as annual leave, is typically regarded as unpaid leave in accordance with Article 33 of the UAE Labour Law. While employees may legally take unpaid leave, such requests are subject to the employer’s discretion and require approval.”
If an employee resigns to pursue micro-retirement, the employment contract is terminated, and the employer is under no legal obligation to rehire the employee in the future unless specific contractual agreements are in place (such as return-to-work arrangements), which are generally uncommon, Ms Loku adds.
Dhadak 2
Director: Shazia Iqbal
Starring: Siddhant Chaturvedi, Triptii Dimri
Rating: 1/5
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Company%20profile
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Specs
Engine: Duel electric motors
Power: 659hp
Torque: 1075Nm
On sale: Available for pre-order now
Price: On request
FFP EXPLAINED
What is Financial Fair Play?
Introduced in 2011 by Uefa, European football’s governing body, it demands that clubs live within their means. Chiefly, spend within their income and not make substantial losses.
What the rules dictate?
The second phase of its implementation limits losses to €30 million (Dh136m) over three seasons. Extra expenditure is permitted for investment in sustainable areas (youth academies, stadium development, etc). Money provided by owners is not viewed as income. Revenue from “related parties” to those owners is assessed by Uefa's “financial control body” to be sure it is a fair value, or in line with market prices.
What are the penalties?
There are a number of punishments, including fines, a loss of prize money or having to reduce squad size for European competition – as happened to PSG in 2014. There is even the threat of a competition ban, which could in theory lead to PSG’s suspension from the Uefa Champions League.
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre four-cylinder turbo
Power: 268hp at 5,600rpm
Torque: 380Nm at 4,800rpm
Transmission: CVT auto
Fuel consumption: 9.5L/100km
On sale: now
Price: from Dh195,000
MATCH INFO
France 3
Umtiti (8'), Griezmann (29' pen), Dembele (63')
Italy 1
Bonucci (36')
PROFILE OF HALAN
Started: November 2017
Founders: Mounir Nakhla, Ahmed Mohsen and Mohamed Aboulnaga
Based: Cairo, Egypt
Sector: transport and logistics
Size: 150 employees
Investment: approximately $8 million
Investors include: Singapore’s Battery Road Digital Holdings, Egypt’s Algebra Ventures, Uber co-founder and former CTO Oscar Salazar
Monster
Directed by: Anthony Mandler
Starring: Kelvin Harrison Jr., John David Washington
3/5
