It's usually easy to spot a flop from a distance. A Minecraft Movie, based on the perennially popular 2011 video game, has many of the telltale signs.
With five screenwriters credited (often a sign of a patchwork film with too many cooks in the kitchen), the film has the look of a Super Bowl commercial or Saturday Night Live sketch. It is full of stars apparently past their prime (in this case Jack Black and Jason Momoa) mucking about in front of a green screen, pandering to the young fans of a piece of intellectual property they've potentially never interacted with.
Usually, in these sorts of scenarios, you end up with something like 2024's Borderlands, a video game adaptation so soulless and painfully unfunny it's not even fun to mock it. While many bad films are made with love, sequels, spinoffs and big-budget adaptations often make the artform feel inert because they are produced with so little heart that they might as well have been generated by AI.
But here's the thing: I actually liked A Minecraft Movie. I'm as surprised as you are. This is not a disaster. Not by a mile. In fact, for most of its duration, it's downright charming and, in parts, had me laughing out loud.
If the film has only one heart powering it, it probably belongs to director Jared Hess. The American filmmaker found fame in 2004 with Napoleon Dynamite, following that up with 2006's Nacho Libre. The latter was his first collaboration with Black, and features the same comic and aesthetic sensibility as A Minecraft Movie.
Hess's career has been largely middling since, with subsequent films failing to resonate with audiences. It's a shame it's taken him so long to start making children's films, because this and 2024's Thelma the Unicorn prove he has a style and sense of humour better fit for Saturday morning cartoons than midnight movies.
Minecraft the video game has no particular story or characters – it's an open world in which players can build, interact and explore. To overcome that obstacle, the film follows the Jumanji model, treating it not as a game, but as an Oz-like universe. Black (also the star of Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle and its sequel) plays Steve, a man from Earth who thrives so much in that universe that he decides to never leave – hiding the only key between worlds under his bed.
Years later, the key is bought in a storage auction by Garrett Garrison (Jason Momoa), a once-famous video game champion whose life is in shambles. He befriends a local orphan boy and her sister, and together with their landlord, they are transported to the world of Minecraft.
The cube-based world is brightly and affectionately well-animated, full of block-ish people and animals that move like Jim Henson creations. The story is as simple as you can expect – they have to fix the broken key and return home – but it's never boring. Its world is rich and inviting, even if the characters aren't particularly vivid.
Black, who also starred in the successful adaptation of Super Mario Bros. as Bowser, no longer attempts to create characters, instead relying on his over-the-top sing-songy shtick and established persona. He's practically a children's cartoon character at this point, even without the green screen. These films are his home now, and here he shall remain. At least Hess understands how to use him.
A MINECRAFT MOVIE
Director: Jared Hess
Starring: Jack Black, Jennifer Coolidge, Jason Momoa
Rating: 3/5
The secret weapon here is Jennifer Coolidge (The White Lotus), who plays the brother and sister's school vice principal. She gives the film a Mel Brooks/David Zucker energy, popping in one liners such as "he's not finished, I think he's Swedish" that got me to chuckle more than once.
Parents, rejoice. Of all the movies that your kids are going to drag you along to this summer, this one will go down easy.
A Minecraft Movie is now in cinemas across the Middle East
The specs: Macan Turbo
Engine: Dual synchronous electric motors
Power: 639hp
Torque: 1,130Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Touring range: 591km
Price: From Dh412,500
On sale: Deliveries start in October
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Electoral College Victory
Trump has so far secured 295 Electoral College votes, according to the Associated Press, exceeding the 270 needed to win. Only Nevada and Arizona remain to be called, and both swing states are leaning Republican. Trump swept all five remaining swing states, North Carolina, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin, sealing his path to victory and giving him a strong mandate.
Popular Vote Tally
The count is ongoing, but Trump currently leads with nearly 51 per cent of the popular vote to Harris’s 47.6 per cent. Trump has over 72.2 million votes, while Harris trails with approximately 67.4 million.
Read more about the coronavirus
Jetour T1 specs
Engine: 2-litre turbocharged
Power: 254hp
Torque: 390Nm
Price: From Dh126,000
Available: Now
The candidates
Dr Ayham Ammora, scientist and business executive
Ali Azeem, business leader
Tony Booth, professor of education
Lord Browne, former BP chief executive
Dr Mohamed El-Erian, economist
Professor Wyn Evans, astrophysicist
Dr Mark Mann, scientist
Gina MIller, anti-Brexit campaigner
Lord Smith, former Cabinet minister
Sandi Toksvig, broadcaster
UAE jiu-jitsu squad
Men: Hamad Nawad and Khalid Al Balushi (56kg), Omar Al Fadhli and Saeed Al Mazroui (62kg), Taleb Al Kirbi and Humaid Al Kaabi (69kg), Mohammed Al Qubaisi and Saud Al Hammadi (70kg), Khalfan Belhol and Mohammad Haitham Radhi (85kg), Faisal Al Ketbi and Zayed Al Kaabi (94kg)
Women: Wadima Al Yafei and Mahra Al Hanaei (49kg), Bashayer Al Matrooshi and Hessa Al Shamsi (62kg)
Tearful appearance
Chancellor Rachel Reeves set markets on edge as she appeared visibly distraught in parliament on Wednesday.
Legislative setbacks for the government have blown a new hole in the budgetary calculations at a time when the deficit is stubbornly large and the economy is struggling to grow.
She appeared with Keir Starmer on Thursday and the pair embraced, but he had failed to give her his backing as she cried a day earlier.
A spokesman said her upset demeanour was due to a personal matter.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The specs
- Engine: 3.9-litre twin-turbo V8
- Power: 640hp
- Torque: 760nm
- On sale: 2026
- Price: Not announced yet
UAE v Gibraltar
What: International friendly
When: 7pm kick off
Where: Rugby Park, Dubai Sports City
Admission: Free
Online: The match will be broadcast live on Dubai Exiles’ Facebook page
UAE squad: Lucas Waddington (Dubai Exiles), Gio Fourie (Exiles), Craig Nutt (Abu Dhabi Harlequins), Phil Brady (Harlequins), Daniel Perry (Dubai Hurricanes), Esekaia Dranibota (Harlequins), Matt Mills (Exiles), Jaen Botes (Exiles), Kristian Stinson (Exiles), Murray Reason (Abu Dhabi Saracens), Dave Knight (Hurricanes), Ross Samson (Jebel Ali Dragons), DuRandt Gerber (Exiles), Saki Naisau (Dragons), Andrew Powell (Hurricanes), Emosi Vacanau (Harlequins), Niko Volavola (Dragons), Matt Richards (Dragons), Luke Stevenson (Harlequins), Josh Ives (Dubai Sports City Eagles), Sean Stevens (Saracens), Thinus Steyn (Exiles)
Benefits of first-time home buyers' scheme
- Priority access to new homes from participating developers
- Discounts on sales price of off-plan units
- Flexible payment plans from developers
- Mortgages with better interest rates, faster approval times and reduced fees
- DLD registration fee can be paid through banks or credit cards at zero interest rates
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
Naga
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
LILO & STITCH
Starring: Sydney Elizebeth Agudong, Maia Kealoha, Chris Sanders
Director: Dean Fleischer Camp
Rating: 4.5/5
More from Janine di Giovanni
The five new places of worship
Church of South Indian Parish
St Andrew's Church Mussaffah branch
St Andrew's Church Al Ain branch
St John's Baptist Church, Ruwais
Church of the Virgin Mary and St Paul the Apostle, Ruwais
Challenge Cup result:
1. UAE 3 faults
2. Ireland 9 faults
3. Brazil 11 faults
4. Spain 15 faults
5. Great Britain 17 faults
6. New Zealand 20 faults
7. Italy 26 faults
The Africa Institute 101
Housed on the same site as the original Africa Hall, which first hosted an Arab-African Symposium in 1976, the newly renovated building will be home to a think tank and postgraduate studies hub (it will offer master’s and PhD programmes). The centre will focus on both the historical and contemporary links between Africa and the Gulf, and will serve as a meeting place for conferences, symposia, lectures, film screenings, plays, musical performances and more. In fact, today it is hosting a symposium – 5-plus-1: Rethinking Abstraction that will look at the six decades of Frank Bowling’s career, as well as those of his contemporaries that invested social, cultural and personal meaning into abstraction.
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Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
A MINECRAFT MOVIE
Director: Jared Hess
Starring: Jack Black, Jennifer Coolidge, Jason Momoa
Rating: 3/5
